Loneliness or Chaos

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EveWasFramed

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Which would you prefer? To feel lonely or to have such chaos in your life due to the people in it, that you find yourself wishing you were alone?
 
I've been in both situations. It's a tough call, really, but honestly, I'd rather be lonely. You don't have to stay lonely forever, but if you continue to subject yourself to the chaos that is making you miserable, it gets too easy to stay because that's what you know, that's what you made your life into, it's what you are "used to." So yeah, I'd choose lonely.
 
TheRealCallie said:
I've been in both situations.  It's a tough call, really, but honestly, I'd rather be lonely.  You don't have to stay lonely forever, but if you continue to subject yourself to the chaos that is making you miserable, it gets too easy to stay because that's what you know, that's what you made your life into, it's what you are "used to."  So yeah, I'd choose lonely.

I think I would too. Being lonely versus never having a moment's peace or a day that doesn't involve walking on egg shells or every conversation you try to have, turning into an argument. 
I think I'd choose lonely peacefulness.
 
I think the responses her are pretty telling.
Or maybe the older I get, the less tolerance for BS I have. lol
 
After living alone and then living with a chaotic (not to mention slovenly, slobbish and slothful) flatmate for the last year, I've learned to appreciate the benefit of living alone.

Might be OK with the right chaotic people.

Also my last relationship was with someone who wanted to be in touch 100% of the time which I found draining.

I do like people when I have the option of taking myself off to a quiet padded cell to scream and pound the walls...  :club:
 
Being with toxic people is essentially being alone. People who are cruel and inconsiderate, or who see you as a means to an end. They don't fully listen, connect, or support, so the advantage of people being there is absent. They use you for their gain, they don't think of yours. They also actively tear you down in some cases. I'm too old to lie to myself that it counts as being loved and accepted.

Unfortunately, being lonely to begin with can make you a target for worse and worse people. There are abusers who seek out partners who don't have strong support networks, or who could be isolated from them. It's a double-edged sword. Loneliness has tangible impacts on health.
 

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