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PinkGnomie13

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Hi!  I love sitcoms, books, all things nerdy and geeky, and jewelry.  I like to make my own jewelry.  I work as a substitute teacher during the day and a gas station attendant at night and on the weekends while I put myself through school to become a high school English teacher.  When I have free time, I hang out with my best friend and her cats.
All my life, the one thing I wanted was to be married and raise a family.  I want to be the support for a man.  I want to be the one person who can make his day with a smile, who knows just how to help him relax and forget his stresses, who can be his best friend through thick and thin.  I can cook, I can clean, and I work hard.  I'm not very pretty, cute at best, but I am smart, honest, generous and thoughtful.  Despite that, I've never had any luck in any area of my life.
I'm here because I need help accepting that I will be single for the rest of my life.  For the last two years, I've been in love with an ex.  I've dated other guys, forcing myself to move on, but I've still carried a torch for him.  Well, all my past boyfriends and dates couldn't see themselves marrying me, so they dumped me, and my ex just came out as gay.  I have tried and tried and tried to get over him, move past all that...  It's just we were perfect for each other.  Everyone said so.  We even thought so, for awhile, then he dumped me because he was too busy with work and...  Well, now he's realized he's gay, so there's that.  
I'm sick and tired of being treated like I'm just an appetizer to guys, something to tide them over until they get to the main course.  I guess I'm just not cut out for being someone's true love.  No one ever hears an angel chorus when they look at me, no one ever sees themselves having children with me, no one even sees themselves going on a second date with me these days.  The last guy I went out with dumped me because I didn't look like Scarlet Johansson.  And he's right, I don't look like Scarlet Johansson - I look like a voluptuous Katniss Everdeen with a bob cut.
So I'm coming to terms with being single for the rest of my life.  I need help, advice, support - anything.  My friends tell me to wait, God has something for me, there's a man out there for me, I'm too awesome to be single forever, etc., but all the platitudes in the world don't wipe away the tears at night as I crawl under the covers alone again.  No compliment wipes away the stigma of being asked again and again, "Who's your plus one?  When are you getting married?  Is there anyone in your life?" or the shame of replying, "No one, never, and no."  My parents aren't supportive of me in anything.  I just don't know what to do or how to cope.
 
Hi PinkGnomie13, I'm sorry to hear about your dating troubles. I can kind of relate I've been single for over ten years now. But I've pretty much gotten use to it. Learn to life for yourself and not for someone else, and hopefully when the time is right someone will come along that you can spend your life with, or maybe not but you can build a life for yourself, with hobbies and interests. It sounds like you keep pretty busy which is good.

Maybe when you're less busy you could get a pet you can keep company and help to take care of, there are many animals out there that need a loving home.

Anyways I hope that helps some, welcome to the forum :)
 
Welcome! I wish I could think of something wittier to say, but my little brain don't work so good.
 
Hi, and welcome to the forum.

I can relate to your story 100%, except the fact that an ex turn gay,(no idea as I don't usually keep in touch with them).First of all, I don't know your age, but you seem young like 20's,maybe early 30's. I won't sugar coat it, it is hard very hard especially when you think you have so much to give and you are a good person and everybody around you has someone, and despite you having faith and being patience it just doesn't get better, you are still stuck in the same place year after year.

I believe in life we get what we get, and it all depends how we respond to what life give us or takes away. We don't know what the future holds. But lets say for example life never gives you what you want( a married life), 40 years from now will you like to look back at your past and see you were a sad person who only mission was to get married and since you didn't got it you were always a hopeless, sad, resentful person or will you like to look at your past and realize that despite we didn't got what we want in ONE aspect of our life, I was able to love myself, had friends, travel, realize other dreams such as travel, having my own house, be smart person, be HAPPY.

When are we going to stop defining us for the one thing we might not get? When life can offers us so many things.And maybe just maybe for focusing so much in what we can't have we don't get to nourished the other aspects of ourselves. Why do we allow ourselves to hurt us this way? We are better than this. We must keep remember EVERY single human out there we all STRUGGLE with something ( Believe me) is just that the are some people who know how to fake it better than others. But believe me, we all struggle one way or another.

Let's stop doing harm to our soul, we only have ourselves at the end of the day. If we don't want love us to suffer and we make everything to cheer them up, make them feel safe or happy, why we don't do that with ourselves.

Go out there, focus on those dreams you can control, the ones that depend on you. The rest will come by itself. And if they don't , is okey cause you have the other aspects of your life to look at and be proud of ourselves.

Now, if we do get it, do you know how much wasted time it was spend on fears, worries, tears and wasted time when we could have spend it in going after other dreams. Now, I'm not saying to not cry, worry and be sad, but we have to put a limit to ourselves, a time (okey I will only cry for 5 minutes today).

Let's be grateful for the life we are given, they are other much worse than us. I remember this every time I'm down.Just focus on achieving your dream of being a teacher, keep nourishing your friendship, keep doing stuff you love, learn how to love and deal with yourselves. And the rest will eventually come.In life is all about perspective, do you want to be a person being valued only cause you aren't married or do you want people and yourself to value yourself for all the amazing things you can do?
 

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