PinkGnomie13
New member
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2017
- Messages
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Hi! I love sitcoms, books, all things nerdy and geeky, and jewelry. I like to make my own jewelry. I work as a substitute teacher during the day and a gas station attendant at night and on the weekends while I put myself through school to become a high school English teacher. When I have free time, I hang out with my best friend and her cats.
All my life, the one thing I wanted was to be married and raise a family. I want to be the support for a man. I want to be the one person who can make his day with a smile, who knows just how to help him relax and forget his stresses, who can be his best friend through thick and thin. I can cook, I can clean, and I work hard. I'm not very pretty, cute at best, but I am smart, honest, generous and thoughtful. Despite that, I've never had any luck in any area of my life.
I'm here because I need help accepting that I will be single for the rest of my life. For the last two years, I've been in love with an ex. I've dated other guys, forcing myself to move on, but I've still carried a torch for him. Well, all my past boyfriends and dates couldn't see themselves marrying me, so they dumped me, and my ex just came out as gay. I have tried and tried and tried to get over him, move past all that... It's just we were perfect for each other. Everyone said so. We even thought so, for awhile, then he dumped me because he was too busy with work and... Well, now he's realized he's gay, so there's that.
I'm sick and tired of being treated like I'm just an appetizer to guys, something to tide them over until they get to the main course. I guess I'm just not cut out for being someone's true love. No one ever hears an angel chorus when they look at me, no one ever sees themselves having children with me, no one even sees themselves going on a second date with me these days. The last guy I went out with dumped me because I didn't look like Scarlet Johansson. And he's right, I don't look like Scarlet Johansson - I look like a voluptuous Katniss Everdeen with a bob cut.
So I'm coming to terms with being single for the rest of my life. I need help, advice, support - anything. My friends tell me to wait, God has something for me, there's a man out there for me, I'm too awesome to be single forever, etc., but all the platitudes in the world don't wipe away the tears at night as I crawl under the covers alone again. No compliment wipes away the stigma of being asked again and again, "Who's your plus one? When are you getting married? Is there anyone in your life?" or the shame of replying, "No one, never, and no." My parents aren't supportive of me in anything. I just don't know what to do or how to cope.
All my life, the one thing I wanted was to be married and raise a family. I want to be the support for a man. I want to be the one person who can make his day with a smile, who knows just how to help him relax and forget his stresses, who can be his best friend through thick and thin. I can cook, I can clean, and I work hard. I'm not very pretty, cute at best, but I am smart, honest, generous and thoughtful. Despite that, I've never had any luck in any area of my life.
I'm here because I need help accepting that I will be single for the rest of my life. For the last two years, I've been in love with an ex. I've dated other guys, forcing myself to move on, but I've still carried a torch for him. Well, all my past boyfriends and dates couldn't see themselves marrying me, so they dumped me, and my ex just came out as gay. I have tried and tried and tried to get over him, move past all that... It's just we were perfect for each other. Everyone said so. We even thought so, for awhile, then he dumped me because he was too busy with work and... Well, now he's realized he's gay, so there's that.
I'm sick and tired of being treated like I'm just an appetizer to guys, something to tide them over until they get to the main course. I guess I'm just not cut out for being someone's true love. No one ever hears an angel chorus when they look at me, no one ever sees themselves having children with me, no one even sees themselves going on a second date with me these days. The last guy I went out with dumped me because I didn't look like Scarlet Johansson. And he's right, I don't look like Scarlet Johansson - I look like a voluptuous Katniss Everdeen with a bob cut.
So I'm coming to terms with being single for the rest of my life. I need help, advice, support - anything. My friends tell me to wait, God has something for me, there's a man out there for me, I'm too awesome to be single forever, etc., but all the platitudes in the world don't wipe away the tears at night as I crawl under the covers alone again. No compliment wipes away the stigma of being asked again and again, "Who's your plus one? When are you getting married? Is there anyone in your life?" or the shame of replying, "No one, never, and no." My parents aren't supportive of me in anything. I just don't know what to do or how to cope.