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nyyti

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Oct 27, 2017
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Hello,

I'm a student, in my early twenties, and I've been pretty lonely ever since I was 15-16. I moved to a new town about four years ago for uni, and I haven't made any new friends. I don't really know anybody around here. The only time I really talk to someone is when I'm in the classroom or on the phone with my mom. The last couple of weeks have been really tough for some reason. I have felt like crying nearly everyday. Sometimes I feel so lonely that it's hard to breathe. I get headaches and stomach aches. I feel paranoid, because I don't know when to consider the symptoms as effects of stress and when of something else. 

Even though I feel like I can talk about anything with my mom, I try not to talk about these issues too much. She has a stressful job, and I don't want to be a burden. I wish she didn't have to worry about me. I'm frustrated for not being able to handle all of this. I've always been a bit of a loner, but I do need people to talk to and spend time with. I spent last summer mainly at my parents' place, with them and our family dogs. When I returned back to the town where I study, I felt empty and realized how much the company of my family means to me. That's when the symptoms I described above started slowly appearing, worse than last school year.

I'm shy and get nervous in social situations involving strangers, which makes interacting with people challenging, to say the least. I'm about to start going to a psychologist again, like I did during the two previous semesters. Since my loneliness has been feeling really bad recently and my appointment with the psychologist is two weeks away, I decided to look for a forum for support. I couldn't find one that seems good in my own language (Finnish), so I thought I'd try writing here. I hope my English is okay. 

Thank you for reading my post!
 
Hi nyyti welcome to the forum, your English is really good :)

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. What are you studying in Uni?

That's good you're planning on seeing a psychologist I hope that helps.

I was really pretty lonely in high school, but I decided to spend my free time focusing on my studies and my grades started improving. Do you have any siblings or extended family you could talk to, either on the phone or via snail mail?

Are there any clubs at school you'd be interested in? That'd be a good way to meet people and be social.

*hugs* :)
 
Thank you for your reply! I'm studying comparative literature. And yeah, you have a point, I've also tried focusing on my studies and keeping myself busy doing something, but sometimes I find myself not being able to do anything.

I have a big brother. We do get along and I should talk to him more often (on the phone, that is) but he's often quite busy, so I always feel hesitant about calling him or even sending him a text message. Which is silly, of course, since he can always reply/call me back when he has the time. I think I should talk more with my dad, too. He and I are the quiet ones in my family, so our conversations tend to be rather short, especially on the phone.

I don't think there are any clubs here. There's our major's subject association which apparently organizes activities, meetings, movie nights etc. The idea of participating just feels kind of funny, as I have never been seen there. They seem to have formed a pretty tight group amongst themselves, so I'd feel like an awkward intruder :D I've been going through community college's course selection, but most of the enrollments took place early in the autumn. I'll just have to regularly check if there are any new courses coming up anywhere so that I can join. I'll try the community college again in spring. 

I feel like joining this site has already eased some of my loneliness  :shy:
 
Welcome nyyti! I am new here also. I wonder if there are any groups that involve you learning a new skill, that way everyone will be beginners and maybe you might not feel awkward?
 
keepswimming said:
Welcome nyyti! I am new here also. I wonder if there are any groups that involve you learning a new skill, that way everyone will be beginners and maybe you might not feel awkward?

Hi, welcome to you too! If you mean groups in uni, there doesn't seem to be one that involves learning a new skill. There are of course different courses for beginners outside of uni, but enrollments are usually in the beginning of spring and autumn. I think I'll just have to wait for the next enrollments and let my studies keep me busy. Thanks for the reply!
 

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