Things that I should have been taught when I was a child

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

DanMann

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2017
Messages
81
Reaction score
0
..But never was by my parents or school.

- Body-weight exercises. Exercises are healthy for you. I lacked the confidence when I was young. And I think I developed a scoliosis because of lack of exercise or because I was weight training at age of 15 and did it wrongly.

- Martial arts. I had a Judo dojo not far from where I lived. Instead of being encouraged to take Judo lessons, I wasted time doing nothing.

- Social Skills. Nobody encouraged me how to socialize and why socializing is important.

- Critical thinking, lateral thinking, memory techniques and other study skills. Nobody (especially the school) has taught me that. Those skills are so important for academic study, without them my capability to learn new things was low.

- Life philosophy. There was nobody to teach me some philosophy or lessons on life. Lack of that lead me to make serious mistakes in my career, social life and life choices in general.


All that lack of proper educational backfired at me today, and I feel I am paying the emotional and life costs for that.
 
Most of those sound like things you generally teach yourself, unless your parents are really into those things or the child asks about them.
Unless you were homeschooled and kept away from society or have something that prevents you from being able to socialize well, I don't see how it's on your parents and school for not having social skills.
Martial arts cost money. Did you have money growing up?
Do you not have gym or physical education where you are from? In America there is, but I don't know how that works in other countries.
Schools and parents can't teach you how to study, you need to figure that out on your own.
Lessons on life you really have to learn yourself. Chances are, however, that if you have been paying attention better, you may have learned some lessons on life, just by observing.

So yeah, I don't really see how any of those things can really be blamed on others unless you were kept from society. While it may suck when bad honeysuckle happens, it's not always someone else's fault.
 
Callee. That may be because you havent tried to be someone special in your life.
 
DanMann said:
..But never was by my parents or school.

- Body-weight exercises. Exercises are healthy for you. I lacked the confidence when I was young. And I think I developed a scoliosis because of lack of exercise or because I was weight training at age of 15 and did it wrongly.

- Martial arts. I had a Judo dojo not far from where I lived. Instead of being encouraged to take Judo lessons, I wasted time doing nothing.

- Social Skills. Nobody encouraged me how to socialize and why socializing is important.

- Critical thinking, lateral thinking, memory techniques and other study skills. Nobody (especially the school) has taught me that. Those skills are so important for academic study, without them my capability to learn new things was low.

- Life philosophy. There was nobody to teach me some philosophy or lessons on life. Lack of that lead me to make serious mistakes in my career, social life and life choices in general.


All that lack of proper educational backfired at me today, and I feel I am paying the emotional and life costs for that.

Did people encourage you *not* to take up martial arts?

Public education doesn't stress the importance of critical thinking, so I understand your concerns on that one. Do you think you could read up on some techniques or guides about this? Would you even want to?
 
reynard_muldrake said:
DanMann said:
..But never was by my parents or school.

- Body-weight exercises. Exercises are healthy for you. I lacked the confidence when I was young. And I think I developed a scoliosis because of lack of exercise or because I was weight training at age of 15 and did it wrongly.

- Martial arts. I had a Judo dojo not far from where I lived. Instead of being encouraged to take Judo lessons, I wasted time doing nothing.

- Social Skills. Nobody encouraged me how to socialize and why socializing is important.

- Critical thinking, lateral thinking, memory techniques and other study skills. Nobody (especially the school) has taught me that. Those skills are so important for academic study, without them my capability to learn new things was low.

- Life philosophy. There was nobody to teach me some philosophy or lessons on life. Lack of that lead me to make serious mistakes in my career, social life and life choices in general.


All that lack of proper educational backfired at me today, and I feel I am paying the emotional and life costs for that.

Did people encourage you *not* to take up martial arts?

Public education doesn't stress the importance of critical thinking, so I understand your concerns on that one. Do you think you could read up on some techniques or guides about this? Would you even want to?

Yeah!
There are books on that by edward de bono and authors like Tony Buzon.

*People* (parents) taught me nothing.

I lacked a lot of discipline when I was young.

With zero amount of guidance it is very hard to achieve anything when you are young. That is because you dont have much wisdom.

Both of my parents were stupid. You cant learn anything in that environment.

Especially women. They need to think beyond wanting a baby. They need to be passionate about bringing up an achiever and give him the right advice, for f's sake.
 Those are two completely different things.
 
DanMann said:
reynard_muldrake said:
DanMann said:
..But never was by my parents or school.

- Body-weight exercises. Exercises are healthy for you. I lacked the confidence when I was young. And I think I developed a scoliosis because of lack of exercise or because I was weight training at age of 15 and did it wrongly.

- Martial arts. I had a Judo dojo not far from where I lived. Instead of being encouraged to take Judo lessons, I wasted time doing nothing.

- Social Skills. Nobody encouraged me how to socialize and why socializing is important.

- Critical thinking, lateral thinking, memory techniques and other study skills. Nobody (especially the school) has taught me that. Those skills are so important for academic study, without them my capability to learn new things was low.

- Life philosophy. There was nobody to teach me some philosophy or lessons on life. Lack of that lead me to make serious mistakes in my career, social life and life choices in general.


All that lack of proper educational backfired at me today, and I feel I am paying the emotional and life costs for that.

Did people encourage you *not* to take up martial arts?

Public education doesn't stress the importance of critical thinking, so I understand your concerns on that one. Do you think you could read up on some techniques or guides about this? Would you even want to?

Yeah!
There are books on that by edward de bono and authors like Tony Buzon.

*People* (parents) taught me nothing.

I lacked a lot of discipline when I was young.

With zero amount of guidance it is very hard to achieve anything when you are young. That is because you dont have much wisdom.

Both of my parents were stupid. You cant learn anything in that environment.

Especially women. They need to think beyond wanting a baby. They need to be passionate about bringing up an achiever and give him the right advice, for f's sake.
 Those are two completely different things.

ZERO guidance....so you got NO guidance from ANYONE in your life?  That seems rather unlikely....

Stop taking shots at women, holy honeysuckle.  There are quite a few women out there who don't even want kids, so your argument is invalid and irrelevant.  Even if your mother gave you the "right" advice, you most likely wouldn't have listened to her and you'd still be blaming her....very few kids actually listen to advice when they are kids...hell, quite a few adults don't listen to advice because they are too busy trying to find someone else to blame for their problems.
 
DanMann said:
Especially women. They need to think beyond wanting a baby. They need to be passionate about bringing up an achiever and give him the right advice, for f's sake.
 Those are two completely different things.

This is NOT allowed here, don't make false generalizations or gender stereotyping.
 
Get a library card? Take a philosophy course?... Google?

you have the option to learn these things now.
 
Now is kinda late. I guess. In the state the brain develops and forms your individual. Makes me think on Plato's Republic and the extreme meassures about guiding a society away from their failures by educating kids as a whole and away from the original parents, right until those kids were well educated enough to have their own children and repeat the process.
 
Xpendable said:
Now is kinda late. I guess. In the state the brain develops and forms your individual. Makes me think on Plato's Republic and the extreme meassures about guiding a society away from their failures by educating kids as a whole and away from the original parents, right until those kids were well educated enough to have their own children and repeat the process.

You are the only person who understands me.

Smart and wise people should teach the young, not random people.


Who was your mentor in life, Xpendable?
 
Xpendable said:
Now is kinda late. I guess. In the state the brain develops and forms your individual. Makes me think on Plato's Republic and the extreme meassures about guiding a society away from their failures by educating kids as a whole and away from the original parents, right until those kids were well educated enough to have their own children and repeat the process.

Except The Republic is a blueprint for an authoritarian city-state and the education children received was to aid them in their assigned role, not make them happy... Freedom comes with more resposibility.There are some things parents just can't or have marginal influence over: social skills for example. Adults barely remember what it was like being a child or adolescent, they can't really help there.
 
DanMann said:
Xpendable said:
Now is kinda late. I guess. In the state the brain develops and forms your individual. Makes me think on Plato's Republic and the extreme meassures about guiding a society away from their failures by educating kids as a whole and away from the original parents, right until those kids were well educated enough to have their own children and repeat the process.

You are the only person who understands me.

Smart and wise people should teach the young, not random people.


Who was your mentor in life, Xpendable?


Haha I didn't have some specific mentor, but my advice would be to turn to scientific reasoning and constant introspection.  I wouldn't blame the parents, probably because they had the same lacking advice growing up. I also wish I was educated about all those subjects, I feel like life has passed on and many opportunities went missing for not being reinforced and properly guided in social skills, for example. People say is not too late and that has some truth, but in the big picture you know is not the same knowing all this stuff at 18 than at 40. You passed your prime and there's no going back. There won't be teenage love or the paragons of youth and social success. The same level of discovery and awe of the rewards of social adequacy when the people who are now supposed to accept you have lived their lives well ahead and cannot give you the same experience than when you were young. You cannot make a woman fall in love in the same way than when she was 21; not at 50 and you cannot see this new world flourish in front of you because is not new anymore, it has been spoiled and thoroughly dismantled by the people around you all over the years. It would be like trying to experience christams for the first time when you're old; you immediately know santa claus is not real and no amount of presents and decoration will make you feel like when you had five and thought he was real.  Of course people who had love at young age and went to have regular lives would tell you is not too late, but they won't exchange their life for yours in a million years because in the end they know is a bad fate.


ardour said:
Xpendable said:
Now is kinda late. I guess. In the state the brain develops and forms your individual. Makes me think on Plato's Republic and the extreme meassures about guiding a society away from their failures by educating kids as a whole and away from the original parents, right until those kids were well educated enough to have their own children and repeat the process.

Except The Republic is a blueprint for an authoritarian city-state and the education children received was to aid them in their assigned role, not make them happy... Freedom comes with more resposibility.There are some things parents just can't or have marginal influence over: social skills for example. Adults barely remember what it was like being a child adolescent, they can't really help there.

And I totally agree. I was merely referencing that line of thought. Although if I remember correctly, Plato was in favor to teach critical thinking and philosophy as well as other science to those citizens and planned to return to the traditional family after a couple of generations; when the parents were already capable of providing the same education in their homes. He also predicted differences in development and knew not all people could have the same potential, but still could find a well-served place in that republic regardless of their reached level. I still think it was extreme but not for that time period.
 
Having a good social life or/and a woman at an old age is of course not the same as having all that at the age of 15.
 
DanMann said:
- Body-weight exercises. Exercises are healthy for you. I lacked the confidence when I was young. And I think I developed a scoliosis because of lack of exercise or because I was weight training at age of 15 and did it wrongly.

They taught this in my high school. For at least one marking period, everyone had a time where we'd go into the actual gym room for gym class. The teachers were to explain how and why to use each machine. And the nice ones would help students beyond that if asked.

DanMann said:
- Martial arts. I had a Judo dojo not far from where I lived. Instead of being encouraged to take Judo lessons, I wasted time doing nothing.

That's something you become interested in yourself. They can't encourage you if they don't know you're into something.

DanMann said:
- Critical thinking, lateral thinking, memory techniques and other study skills. Nobody (especially the school) has taught me that. Those skills are so important for academic study, without them my capability to learn new things was low.

Again, my schools taught this. Had plenty of workbooks on it. I know not all schools are the same, so if you thought you needed it, looking into it yourself was probably the only way you were going to get it.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top