LaoDing
Member
First off I'm 53. Still a pretty youthful 53. I also live in China. And I don't want to get into anything political but for some reason my expat friends- if they are married, all have wives 15 to 20 years younger than them.
Well, I don't have to have a wife 20 years younger than me, but I've done some Internet dating with Chinese ladies here, and I've gone on dates with women from 30 (a while ago) to 50. Now, I hear guys in America say they write online to a hundred women's profiles with hardly any reply at all, but it's easier here to actually get a coffee date. The trouble is, it never goes anywhere, not for me. But- I'd rather not be on the Internet at all. I'd rather meet women in real life, but I have no idea how.
I'm not whining- and I have had some skittish boyfriend-girlfriend kinds of encounters that lasted a few weeks. But I think I've had sex three times in the last ten years. Other guys, BETTER LOOKING GUYS, seem to get girlfriends (and maybe eventually married) quite easily though, whether they're 30 or even 60. And I think a lot of the 'coffee dates' are more about curiosity on the part of the girls than anything else.
But a case in point is this: I met a woman online twenty years younger than me. Hey, age doesn't matter right? Well over the week we got very intimate and I found out all about her. It was really hard to keep up and she praised me up and down. I can get a woman to love me over the Internet, not by tricks but just by BEING MYSELF and being honest. Anyway, she really wanted to meetup. I told her,, look, I'm 53- I'm old, but she reassured me that it didn't matter. But when she saw me at the subway station she gave that 'Bride of Frankenstein' silent scream look. Pure torture for me. For her part, she was a very beautiful woman (pictures lie). The rest of the evening was not good- I just wanted to go home.
The next day I've heard hardly a peep out of her. I wrote her and encouraged her the right guy was out there for her but she glossed it over. Still,, you KNOW when someone is disgusted with you.
I was ugly when I was 14, when I was 20, 30, etc. It doesn't change. If I had been 35 it would have been the same. You know when you are ugly because society lets you know. And individuals in society will actually tell you you're ugly to your face and point out your ugly features (baggy eyes, big nose, lizard lips and tiny chin in case you're wondering). Whether ugly is 'real' or not is moot. Of course there is no absolute judge of it, whatever the Greeks thought (I think Plato was pretty ugly, wasn't he?}. But people in society, brainwashed by media, sure have their judgements on ugliness and it is harsh. Last spring I walked around for about two weeks with a cold mask to hide my face I was so disgusted. I just wanted to die.
Oh, and I have no problems with 'ugly' 'cute' or even 'beautiful' women. It's just a lot of women have rejected me for my looks and to be frank, unattractive women here in China seem to be self-sabotagingly hostile. Weird. I'd just like a regular, kind girlfriend who is comfortable wit both herself and me.
Well, I don't have to have a wife 20 years younger than me, but I've done some Internet dating with Chinese ladies here, and I've gone on dates with women from 30 (a while ago) to 50. Now, I hear guys in America say they write online to a hundred women's profiles with hardly any reply at all, but it's easier here to actually get a coffee date. The trouble is, it never goes anywhere, not for me. But- I'd rather not be on the Internet at all. I'd rather meet women in real life, but I have no idea how.
I'm not whining- and I have had some skittish boyfriend-girlfriend kinds of encounters that lasted a few weeks. But I think I've had sex three times in the last ten years. Other guys, BETTER LOOKING GUYS, seem to get girlfriends (and maybe eventually married) quite easily though, whether they're 30 or even 60. And I think a lot of the 'coffee dates' are more about curiosity on the part of the girls than anything else.
But a case in point is this: I met a woman online twenty years younger than me. Hey, age doesn't matter right? Well over the week we got very intimate and I found out all about her. It was really hard to keep up and she praised me up and down. I can get a woman to love me over the Internet, not by tricks but just by BEING MYSELF and being honest. Anyway, she really wanted to meetup. I told her,, look, I'm 53- I'm old, but she reassured me that it didn't matter. But when she saw me at the subway station she gave that 'Bride of Frankenstein' silent scream look. Pure torture for me. For her part, she was a very beautiful woman (pictures lie). The rest of the evening was not good- I just wanted to go home.
The next day I've heard hardly a peep out of her. I wrote her and encouraged her the right guy was out there for her but she glossed it over. Still,, you KNOW when someone is disgusted with you.
I was ugly when I was 14, when I was 20, 30, etc. It doesn't change. If I had been 35 it would have been the same. You know when you are ugly because society lets you know. And individuals in society will actually tell you you're ugly to your face and point out your ugly features (baggy eyes, big nose, lizard lips and tiny chin in case you're wondering). Whether ugly is 'real' or not is moot. Of course there is no absolute judge of it, whatever the Greeks thought (I think Plato was pretty ugly, wasn't he?}. But people in society, brainwashed by media, sure have their judgements on ugliness and it is harsh. Last spring I walked around for about two weeks with a cold mask to hide my face I was so disgusted. I just wanted to die.
Oh, and I have no problems with 'ugly' 'cute' or even 'beautiful' women. It's just a lot of women have rejected me for my looks and to be frank, unattractive women here in China seem to be self-sabotagingly hostile. Weird. I'd just like a regular, kind girlfriend who is comfortable wit both herself and me.
