So my brother's girlfriend invited me to like, a Friendsgiving with her friends. They are calling it Friendsliving, as kind of a joke about it being all plant-based foods. I'm vegan and my brother's gf is plant-based. My brother's girlfriend is barely 21 and her friends are really all about the same age. I don't really do well around a bunch of people in general but especially around a bunch of young people all trying to see who can be the loudest. No offense to younger people who are like this but I just can't even pretend to try and fit in. I wish had the energy to fake having a great time but I don't. I mean I do love how younger people are so open to having a whole vegan dinner event, when none of them are even plant-based, besides me and my brother's gf. Younger people give me so much hope for the future, lol. Not even joking. If you tried to do this with older people, most of them would have a harder time being open to it. Also, no offense to older people, it's just what my experiences have showed me and I also get that new things can be scary. Anyway, I am weird and kind of a downer, haha. That's not true, I just love talking about things that other people don't care for too much. The weird part is definitely true. I love talking about veganism, environmental issues and world conspiracies. I've been around my brother's gf's friends before and it just drains me. Basically I'm kind of fighting with myself not to go. I feel like I should just force myself to go and not say anything too weird but then I'm worried about having a terrible time and being stuck there. If I stay home I may end up getting really down about how I should have just gone. I am also suppose to be making a dish. My brother's gf loves my green bean casserole and wants me to make it.
I feel like I just rambled on about a bunch of stuff that didn't even matter. The whole point is that I have really bad social anxiety sometimes and these are all the thoughts I start having about whether I should even go or not. Why am I like this? Just kidding, I know why. Because I hate myself... kidding again, I've been working hard on not doing that.
I keep waiting to hit that age where I just don't give a honeysuckle what other people think anymore. I thought it was going to be like two years ago. I'm sitting here worried about how weird I might seem to other's at that thing tomorrow. Ugh. This is just me right now.
I feel like I just rambled on about a bunch of stuff that didn't even matter. The whole point is that I have really bad social anxiety sometimes and these are all the thoughts I start having about whether I should even go or not. Why am I like this? Just kidding, I know why. Because I hate myself... kidding again, I've been working hard on not doing that.
I keep waiting to hit that age where I just don't give a honeysuckle what other people think anymore. I thought it was going to be like two years ago. I'm sitting here worried about how weird I might seem to other's at that thing tomorrow. Ugh. This is just me right now.