What are some ways to improve self-esteem?

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Azariah

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Discuss.

Positive self-talk can help they say.
I think that requires talking in the mirror.
 
I've tried the talking in the mirror thing, but it feels completely insincere to me, like I'm just reading a fortune cookie out loud.
 
Make yourself a gratitude list. List all the positive attributes of yourself. Look at it every time you feel down about yourself. If you can, have someone close to you do the same thing for you. Have them write down positive attributes that they think you have.

I don't think you need to have a full conversation with yourself in the mirror, but if you are going out and feel anxious about it, just tell yourself that you CAN do it, that it will be fine.
If you have an interview or college assignment or something like that, just tell yourself that you are ready, that you are prepared, that it will be fine. Because even if you don't get the job or do as well as you wanted to, you will know (assuming you did prepare for it), that you did your best and you can try again with the next interview/assignment/whatever.
If it's a date, just tell yourself that you are a good person, that you are worth knowing and take into consideration that even if it doesn't go well, that doesn't mean you are worthless or a horrible person, it just means that you weren't a good fit for this one person.
 
Although conventional wisdom would tell you, that better self esteem is something you should be able to create/nurture by yourself - to me personally, I've found that other people I've met have been instrumental as well, lately.

It's as 'simple' as being nice to others and they might be nice and find you interesting to be around too. A woman I talk really well with, asked for my facebook recently when we had our last day together, at a place we both attended. She asked me, before I had the chance to ask her, which was really nice, considering she's one of the quite shy ones.
 
I find self talk only goes so far. You can stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself you’re not ugly, and tell yourself all the good things you like about yourself, but when you still don’t meet people, nobody wants you or will touch you, and you can’t even find anyone on the internet to talk and have a connection with, well, all of that shouts a lot louder to me than any self affamation process does. Having someone to talk just does wonders for me. There just isn’t anyone who wants to.
 
Cucuboth said:
I find self talk only goes so far. You can stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself you’re not ugly, and tell yourself all the good things you like about yourself, but when you still don’t meet people, nobody wants you or will touch you, and you can’t even find anyone on the internet to talk and have a connection with, well, all of that shouts a lot louder to me than any self affamation process does. Having someone to talk just does wonders for me. There just isn’t anyone who wants to.

You say that you haven't found anyone on the internet to talk to but you never replied to my message in PMs....
 
Azariah said:
Discuss.

Positive self-talk can help they say.
I think that requires talking in the mirror.

I wouldn't think so. Right after one wakes up, or right before we go to bed, or any random time during the day, perhaps we could say one nice thing about ourselves or our surroundings. Just something to boost ourselves a bit. Doesn't need to be fancy or in-depth.
 
Well, new studies say that talking to yourself in the mirror can actually cause a strange effect on you do it too long.
As in you feel you are out of your own body and it's not you.
Have to take it with any psychology with a grain of salt.

That or Biggie Smalls shows up. :p
 
Set and make small goals, like finishing a book.

Exercising and staying active, even for 15 minutes a day.

Cleaning up so at least my physical space doesn't have to be cluttered.

I don't find self-talk helps much. I do read a lot of blogs looking for opinions from other people who've gone through similar struggles to see what's actually worked for them. I figure if someone's turned it around, maybe there's a chance for me, too.
 
dang i wonder why i'm always looking for ways to self improve. improve to what? what goes up must come down right. well sometimes they stay down, that's the problem.
 
This is a bit left of centre, and most of you won't agree, but please hear me out.

I think the whole self esteem stuff is a bit overrated. I'm not suggesting you should loathe yourself, but I don't think this ideal of loving yourself is some perfect goal either. There is a place for self doubt, for self criticality. Judge yourself and do so harshly. It will make you a better person.
 
Positive self talk helps. It helps me anyway. Setting goals helps. Simply believing the day is going to go great; not so much. I find if my day is average or bad, I feel worse.

Believe it or not but seeing the futility in things can help too. If you see that a situation may never change, you allow yourself permission to find the beauty in its imperfection. Expecting it to be perfect and finding out it isn't hurts.
 
TheLoadedDog said:
This is a bit left of centre, and most of you won't agree, but please hear me out.

I think the whole self esteem stuff is a bit overrated.   I'm not suggesting you should loathe yourself,  but I don't think this ideal of loving yourself is some perfect goal either.  There is a place for self doubt, for self criticality.  Judge yourself and do so harshly.  It will make you a better person.

LOL This.
Though I don't know if it's a particularly good idea. I'm guessing you follow that like I do.
Makes us hard with ourselves, but also tends to make us hard towards others as well, at least it does in my case.
Circa 2017...not necessarily the best trait to have ;-)
 
I think working on yourself to physically look more appealing or get in shape, contributes to the feeling of self worth.

However, when will it be enough? If you lose 10 pounds of fat and replace it with 20 pounds of muscle you'll feel good for a while, but how long untill this new version of you is again "not good enough"?

Self esteem and self worth are mostly something you need to work on mentally, you don't need to think of yourself as a god/goddess, you just need to have acceptance for yourself and a healthy indifference for others opinion.
 
Join some club, memorize some jokes, go out there and talk to people, join the gym. Download an app that measures your self esteem, watch your self esteem go so high that it crashes the app. Rinse Lather Repeat.
 
OK, I'll try a different tack.

Look in the mirror in the morning, and say (loudly):

"GOOD MORNING, YOU MAGNIFICENT *******"
 
Change your environment - i.e. the people you are surrounded by.
Choose to be with the people who inspire you instead of those that drain your energy.
 
TheLoadedDog said:
OK, I'll try a different tack.

Look in the mirror in the morning, and say (loudly):

"GOOD MORNING, YOU MAGNIFICENT *******"

Similar, sometimes.
I get up in the morning and say "You're the best in the world, you STUPID, arrogant Dick" lol
(Get it? Dick, dick...okay)
 

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