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NinePatch

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I'm having a bad evening and feeling very low. I can't remember when I have ever felt so alone. Anyone want to talk? I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. It would just be nice to hear from someone.
 
Ah, OK. It's quiet and no-one around. I'll try to get some sleep and hope for better things in the morning.
 
Can't promise I'll be around much longer, but if you're there, what's on your mind?
 
GizmonicScrewdriver said:
Can't promise I'll be around much longer, but if you're there, what's on your mind?

Oh, just an accumulation of sad things happening last couple of weeks. Trying not to let it all beat me but tonight it seems to be. Thank you for replying. It means a lot.
 
GizmonicScrewdriver said:
Kind of a bad time to let it all accumulate, what started first?

Anniversary of the death of my closest friend. I miss her more than I can say. Two weeks ago, a man I loved, still love, came back into my life after two years of silence and hurt me all over again. My only kin is my brother who has been missing for ten years. I spent the evening trying again to see if anyone could help me to find him and failed. It would be so good to see him again especially this time of year. These three things together all too much to bear.
 
Is there anyone you can relate to close, like can you maybe go visit tonite or tomorrow?

I know that sounds like generic advice, but I don't beat around the bush.


You know the best friends I have met were hanger-ons, people who were lonely and needed some friends. Have you any acquaintances?

Weird quote, but:
A cloud collapses to form a star and disk.
 
GizmonicScrewdriver said:
Is there anyone you can relate to close, like can you maybe go visit tonite or tomorrow?

Not really. I do have friends but no-one that close I'd confide all this stuff too. I don't people to know what a wreck I really am. I think I'll be OK. I'll go for a walk tomorrow or rather later today - it's 3am here - and try to get my head straight. It's tough being alone in the sense of having no family. Thank you for listening. Tell me about you.
 
Well,
I am mentally ill, a prescription drug addict, domestic abuse sufferer. At home husband with two cats.
Oh almost forgot...

"I attended Juilliard, I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School, I travel quite extensively, I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that, [getting aggressively more demented] I've seen The Exorcist about 167 TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!
[calmly] You think I'm qualified?"

The last paragraph wasn't true.
I just have always wanted to use that line.
 
GizmonicScrewdriver said:
Well,
I am mentally ill, a prescription drug addict, domestic abuse sufferer. At home husband with two cats.
Oh almost forgot...

"I attended Juilliard, I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School, I travel quite extensively, I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that, [getting aggressively more demented] I've seen The Exorcist about 167 TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!"

The last paragraph wasn't true.


You think I'm qualified?



Qualified? To give advice? Yes. It takes another person to give some perspective. I get caught up in my own problems and forget others have their own struggles.


GizmonicScrewdriver said:
Well,
I am mentally ill, a prescription drug addict, domestic abuse sufferer. At home husband with two cats.
Oh almost forgot...

"I attended Juilliard, I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School, I travel quite extensively, I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that, [getting aggressively more demented] I've seen The Exorcist about 167 TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!
[calmly] You think I'm qualified?"

The last paragraph wasn't true.
I just have always wanted to use that line.

I see we both have zero reputation. I don't know why that makes me laugh. See? You've cheered me up already.
 
Well, you are new, you haven't built one yet, me I have a bad one for being a jackass. There's a difference. ;)
 
It's from Hubble - A cloud collapses to form a star and disk. My former man friend is an astronomer so some kind of ironic you chose that quotation.


GizmonicScrewdriver said:
Well, you are new, you haven't built one yet, me I have a bad one for being a jackass. There's a difference. ;)

Give me time.
 
Well,
I was thinking deeply about it...

bullshit I was Googling.


So what side of the Hubble-verse you from?

Oh, and I am so sorry Mike and the Robots rammed into it.
 
GizmonicScrewdriver said:
Well,
I was thinking deeply about it...

bullshit I was Googling.


So what side of the Hubble-verse you from?

Oh, and I am so sorry Mike and the Robots rammed into it.



London, just outside. You? As you are a jackass I'm guessing somewhere far west of that. Brits don't uses that expression.

It's going on 4.00 am and I guess I should try to get some sleep. Thank you for chatting to me. It has helped a lot. Goodnight.
 
Albany, NY, north of NYC,
We are actually the New York State capital, no one ever knows that. I tell people and they get surprised. They always think NYC is.
Hate to sound horrid but I guess that keeps us safe from attacks. Guess I should shut up if someone from AL Queda is bummed out from the defeats in Iraq and signs up. :p

Oh, if I stick around a bit you'll hear my name and Jackass.
Self-deprecating humor. <-


Jackass, as I tended to run my mouth in the past, is all. Jackass is what you call a moron, wanker, etc.


Any time, get some rest.
There's always the edible cone on the dropped ice cream.
 
GizmonicScrewdriver said:
I DID know that Albany is the State capital. I've been to NYC a couple of times in the past and travelled from there to Boston then up through Vermont so I guess that would have misses you out. Good place to live?

There is a very annoying animated smiley bashing another smiley to the left of my eyeline. How do I switch that off?
 
Sorry to hear about, how bad a place you're in right now, NinePatch.

I'm having a couple of bad 'Anniversary's' coming my way soon enough, the kind you don't really want to be reminded of. Hey, at least you've probably got better weather in London atm, than I do here. BRRRRRRR
 
Agent Cooper said:
Sorry to hear about, how bad a place you're in right now, NinePatch.

I'm having a couple of bad 'Anniversary's' coming my way soon enough, the kind you don't really want to be reminded of. Hey, at least you've probably got better weather in London atm, than I do here. BRRRRRRR

Thank you Agent Cooper. My friend died late October 2014 so it's the third anniversary. She was my closest friend from our very first day at senior school. We were friends for 48 years til her death and I was by her side in her last few days and with her when she died. We were so alike. She used to say we shared a brain we were so in tune with one another. That's maybe one of the reasons I feel her death so acutely, like losing a twin. She was much the wiser of the two of us and despite being ill herself she was an absolute rock when my husband died. That's eleven years ago now and we had been together 35 years. He was also a great strength to me. A wonderful husband. So, I think the reason I feel so lonely is that I have lost the two people I cared about most in the world and often life feels empty without them.

It's chilly here but not too cold. Where are you and what brings you to the forum if you don't mind me asking?
 
NinePatch said:
It's chilly here but not too cold. Where are you and what brings you to the forum if you don't mind me asking?

I'm in the frozen wasteland that is Denmark - no not really, that would be Norway. :)

The Sun is shining today and it's close to 8-10 degrees above freezing. I'm just here to talk to people, should they be interested. I feel the loneliness creep in, especially during the Winter season, when most people stay indoors at home.

I understand the 'emptiness' you describe, especially after losing two special people like that. Soon, it will be the anniversary of the death of my first big love, back from my high school days. It's almost 25 years ago now (she died very young) and it's strange how she keeps turning up in my thoughts around this time, year after year. However, as far as she is concerned, it's not really sorrow I feel anymore, it's more the good stuff we had and some longing after recapturing that feeling again. But that's life in a nutshell.
 
Sun shining here too but a real bite in the air. I went for a walk in the park and to browse in the second hand bookshop that's situated there. Yes. A second hand bookshop in a park. It's because the park contains what was once a very grand house which fell into ruin. The park was the private grounds of the house. The local authority bought the house and restored it and its now used for weddings and exhibitions. The money generated from the bookshop goes to pay for some of the things in the house. The park was fairly quiet today. It's popular with dog walkers but it's out of town and, of course, at the moment, so many people are IN town shopping.

It's Christmas rather than winter which contributes to my own feelings of loneliness as I don't have any family and it's a family time, isn't it? It's not so much the lack of people but that they are all busy rushing around making preparations. I dislike the commercialism of the holiday so anything I can do to avoid the hype. It's short days and days of poor light which get to me. A touch of SAD I suppose. I try to get out every day for a good walk as it helps my mood.

We never forget the people we have loved. They are always there on the edge if not in the forefront of our minds and it may take only the slightest trigger to bring back those happy memories. Music is very evocative, isn't it and can trigger memories so easily. It's especially sad when someone has died young, all the promise of a life cut short. I think that about my husband and best friend. Gone in their 50s which is not young exactly but still premature in a time when average life expectancy is 30 years more than that. I think of what interesting, active, vibrant people they were and all the things they had yet to enjoy and achieve. I feel I owe it to them and get out and enjoy life as much as I can and I do try but this time of year it's harder for reasons already explained.
 

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