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Feel depressed about this problem
#1
I got so desperate and asked a guy I used to work with could I crash at his house for a few nights. I told him that I was dealing with family issues and was on the street. He was my only option because I just couldn't take being back around my family. Anyhow, he said "He had sold his house" but that he was willing to help me any other way like helping me move into a place quickly or maybe a room. But I kind of didn't want that because he would had wanted more. I actually felt really bad after asking him for a place to stay. But I know he's not like that, because he like me and has told me in the past that he want to take me under his wing and help me out. So I don't know if he said he sold his house just cause he didn't want me to or if he really did. But I still felt like trash afterwards. I even told him it was out of my character to even ask that, I just was down on my luck and which I am. I honestly just told him that Thanks, but I decided to just move in with my aunt. But now I feel like a bum, I feel like in the future he can always hold this against me. I feel like my family will find out about this and ridicule me for this. The only reason I didn't allow him to buy me a hotel or help me move into a place because I just didn't want what came with it. I got to thinking and just quickly said I was going to move in with my aunt and uncle in Indiana. He said okay and was understanding or whatever. But the thing is, I had to move back into this toxic house with my mom and family. No car and trying to figure out a way to get two jobs and transportation. The goal has been to move to NJ for college, but it is so hard to save up money to do that. I want to be close to NYC and chase dreams. But I feel like a bum, I feel trapped and if I do ever make it to be something BIG in LIFE, I feel like people can recall that I was a bum and my family will ridicule me about it.
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#2
(11-26-2017, 05:12 AM)TheAnxiousPain Wrote: I got so desperate and asked a guy I used to work with could I crash at his house for a few nights. I told him that I was dealing with family issues and was on the street. He was my only option because I just couldn't take being back around my family. Anyhow, he said "He had sold his house" but that he was willing to help me any other way like helping me move into a place quickly or maybe a room. But I kind of didn't want that because he would had wanted more. I actually felt really bad after asking him for a place to stay. But I know he's not like that, because he like me and has told me in the past that he want to take me under his wing and help me out. So I don't know if he said he sold his house just cause he didn't want me to or if he really did. But I still felt like trash afterwards. I even told him it was out of my character to even ask that, I just was down on my luck and which I am. I honestly just told him that Thanks, but I decided to just move in with my aunt. But now I feel like a bum, I feel like in the future he can always hold this against me. I feel like my family will find out about this and ridicule me for this. The only reason I didn't allow him to buy me a hotel or help me move into a place because I just didn't want what came with it. I got to thinking and just quickly said I was going to move in with my aunt and uncle in Indiana. He said okay and was understanding or whatever. But the thing is, I had to move back into this toxic house with my mom and family. No car and trying to figure out a way to get two jobs and transportation. The goal has been to move to NJ for college, but it is so hard to save up money to do that. I want to be close to NYC and chase dreams. But I feel like a bum, I feel trapped and if I do ever make it to be something BIG in LIFE, I feel like people can recall that I was a bum and my family will ridicule me about it.
 I'm sorry you are feeling badly, but I don't read his reaction as anything you should feel bad about at all.  It's good to ask for help when you need it, and it sounds like he really wanted to help you the best he could.  What's the difference between sleeping on his couch/ bed and letting him help you get a room so you're not on the street?  Seems like he would have more access to try something with you in his house than in your own room somewhere, but I'm glad you set your boundaries and don't put yourself in a weird situation with someone you don't know.  Family is family and even if you feel like it's toxic there, just do what you have to do to save money and get out.  And think of that song "started from the bottom now we're here" or whatever it goes, there's a lot of glory in starting with nothing and working hard to get to where you want to be.  Smile
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#3
Hey there, I don't know you or know this man you asked for help, and maybe I'm paranoid, but the way you talk about him "I didn't want that cause he would have wanted more" and "I just didn't want what came with it", and the way he tries to get you to trust him by saying he wants to take you "under his wing" just scare me, he's acting like a predator if you'd ask me and you dodged a bullet, I can't be sure about any off this but I think you have a pretty good understanding of what he really wants yourself.

If he sold his house he's probably still staying somewhere right?
More likely he has a girlfriend or a wife and maybe even kids, having you at his place, with them, is the very last thing he wants....

If any of this sounds even a little familiar;
Please do not contact this person EVER again!

If not, I'm still glad I said it, but you can ignore it all.
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#4
I think he was using his house closure as a guilt trip. And he used that as some kind of blame.

You never owe a man favors. It's creepy the way he was coming off if you ask me.

If that made any sense.
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