I'm confused and could really do with some helpful answers

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Brennabean

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Hi guys. I'll just keep it as short as I can. 

So since I quit all the drugs last Christmas I've experienced an overwhelming surplus of emotions and realisations which I had been hiding from for a number of years. I'm making progress with each problem I find and trying very hard to become a better person. Up until a few days ago I was really down in the dumps for months, I've had a few good days but I'm finding it hard to keep the ball rolling. Yes sad things have happened to me lately but I think I'm dealing with them OK. The last few days I was really chipper and actually felt content for the first time in months, and today I dropped it again. I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I realised that was a mistake I was making before. I'm actually just wondering if this is a normal thing for depression?
Just as a note last year was the worst I've been with an almost suicide attempt and many upsetting thoughts. Since then I've gotten way better but it's still a struggle. I've never gone to the doctors about this, and I'm not interested in taking pills for it as I'm over the worst of it now. I just want to know if there is anyone here who can tell me if this is depression?

Thanks dudes and dudettes ✌️
 
"Normal", yes.

There are different degrees, stages, and types of depression. It does seem like you are depressed but it also seems like you are doing pretty good at helping yourself through it. Kudos. Feeling sad and depressed is a hard place to be and can be even harder to pull yourself out of. The more you learn what works for you to help you get better the stronger it will make you.
 
I agree with Sci-Fi, There are many stages of depression. But it does sound like you are dealing with depression, but you have gotten through the worst of it, as you have said. I know you are not interested in doctors or medication, but if you feel yourself slipping and feeling down, it couldn't hurt to talk to a therapist about how to handle your feelings.

Seems like you are doing a good job and holding your head up. Awesome job on being able to stop using drugs....not sure if you mean street drugs, or mental health drugs, but either way, good job.
 
Define normal, friend.
Listen. I used to be you. Except my problems weren't drugs (it's a bit more complicated than that).
Long story short, I used to be an *******. I used to hate myself. I was a very disgusting human being. Like you though, I decided to change. I wanted to change. I did practically violence to myself, but I like to think I did change, even though recent events made me relapse. It might be depression, or just a mix of things. It's perfectly normal for it to be hard, what you're doing is incredibly hard. However, and you've probably realized this by now, will is a POWERFUL freaking force. You're changing. You're holding on even when it's hard. You CAN do it.
One day at a time, one step at a time. When it's a bad day, think of the better days, but whatever you do, don't quit. Fight it. You'll love yourself for it.
Take care bro.
 
I agree with all posters that you are experiencing depression, and I'd like to add that it's very important to keep the mindset you have now, this will allow you to have dips without it leading to a fullblown relapse into your old way of being, as Richard said will is powerful, but I believe that realization and rationality are just as important. right now you have the realization that you are doing better than ever before and that a setback, however hard it may hit can be handled in a rational way, without the need to escape reality and numb your senses.

Hope it's helpful, and stay true to who you want to be!
 
I've had some time to think about what you guys have said. All I seem to do now is think a lot as it goes hand in hand with mindfulness. It's not just me feeling down that bothers me, it's the boredom!! I'm sure from my research and what you're saying what's happening to me is mild depression. I love the days where im productive! My work is tiring, I work in a nursing home and it's been very tiring lately as so many residents are ill, so I have some days where I just want to vegetate and even though I know I should get on with my uni work and go to the gym and even practise my guitar because I need to and it makes me feel so much better when I do, I just cannot motivate myself to do it. I'm a massive defeatist, definitely my biggest weakness and I'm working on it! Hopefully it works out because it feels like it's one of those things you can't just stop (or is that my defeatist side talking?)  I think this is because I'm low, how do you guys motivate yourselves on days where you feel like if you get out of bed you'll hate your day?
 
Ow god, that's a tough one! usually the only thing that helps is just doing it, even if you'd rather do nothing!
I know that's not much of a help, one other thing is that could help is making a schedule, and sticking to it, this ofcourse also requires some discipline from oneself. Another would be to make appointments and/or get into a group sport/hobby, when you work out at the gym on your own it's much easier to call it off then when you have a group that expects you there, be it spinning, yoga, kickboxing, as long as there are others to motivate you.

I bought a guitar before summer, never played before and was planning to teach it to myself, I practiced on it once so far :|, so all advise I give is untested and unproven :D
 
I'll give myself goals today and see if it works out. I don't think a schedule would do any good, I'm terrible with self discipline and have an anti-authority complex so I guess I'd tell myself to do one if I tried forcing a schedule on myself. I think it's because I am a scatter brain, I suppose some would call it anxiety or adhd but I always have so many things going on in my head that it often makes me lose concentration, some days are better than others for sure. My mum actually said this is a depression thing, not sure if this is true but I guess it'd make sense. Oh, and I don't know about you guys, I could be weird like this, but if I want to do anything in my studio flat (which I share with my SO) I HAVE to tidy up. I just can't stop thinking about it if it is even slightly messy, and considering everything else going on in my brain at least I can do something about this one lol. I'll let you know if I fulfilled my goal of writing 400 words on one essay!
Also, do you set yoursepf a schedule or do you have a routine? If so, what is it? :)
 
Brennabean said:
I'll give myself goals today and see if it works out. I don't think a schedule would do any good.

It doesn't. Mind can only plan, it cannot act. Only you can act.
 
MisterLonely said:
Ow god, that's a tough one! usually the only thing that helps is just doing it, even if you'd rather do nothing!
I know that's not much of a help, one other thing is that could help is making a schedule, and sticking to it, this ofcourse also requires some discipline from oneself. Another would be to make appointments and/or get into a group sport/hobby, when you work out at the gym on your own it's much easier to call it off then when you have a group that expects you there, be it spinning, yoga, kickboxing, as long as there are others to motivate you.

I bought a guitar before summer, never played before and was planning to teach it to myself, I practiced on it once so far :|, so all advise I give is untested and unproven :D

Oh you'll hate the guitar at first but it is so rewarding when you can play a song the whole way through with minimal f*ck ups. Teaching it to yourself is probably really hard though, I started lessons when I was a child but even now occasionally they are a great help! See if you can get lessons from a pro or maybe even a friend! And once you learn chords and transition OK then you can move onto YouTube and tabs a bit more :) it won't be easy but sure will keep you busy!
 
I don't set a schedule for myself, I only give that advise to others as it's been given to me so many times already :)

Beginning of this year I set myself a goal to read 12 books, just one a month so that should be doable right? well come february I was on the 5th, and after that it just stopped, read one more book in august/september and started the 3rd of Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy series, haven't finished it yet!

My fault is trying to do too much all at once, and overloading myself, burning out on it and dropping it, so I'd say that whatever you do, do it in moderation, don't pile on in a spurt of enthusiasm only to quit a week in because it feels like it's all your doing.

I will definitely pick up the guitar again, I have a game on the xbox (rock smith) that should make learning fun and might keep me interested through the part where i would normally drop it
 
MisterLonely said:
I don't set a schedule for myself, I only give that advise to others as it's been given to me so many times already :)

Beginning of this year I set myself a goal to read 12 books, just one a month so that should be doable right? well come february I was on the 5th, and after that it just stopped, read one more book in august/september and started the 3rd of Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy series, haven't finished it yet!

My fault is trying to do too much all at once, and overloading myself, burning out on it and dropping it, so I'd say that whatever you do, do it in moderation, don't pile on in a spurt of enthusiasm only to quit a week in because it feels like it's all your doing.

I will definitely pick up the guitar again, I have a game on the xbox (rock smith) that should make learning fun and might keep me interested through the part where i would normally drop it

Oh haha that's weird I'm actually reading hitchhikers right now, have almost finished the 3rd book! Reckon I'll be on the fourth by Friday :) I don't read too often. I started reading the series at the beginning of the year but I go for months at a time without reading. I really enjoy the book but I when I want to have a short break from something I just end up forgetting about it or not wanting to go back to it for months. I don't know why because I really enjoy reading it.

I'm the same, I've set myself daily goals which are "contribute x words to essay", "go to gym" and the occasional grocery shop. I've finished all of my goals today successfully so yay for day 1!! Keeping it simple as to not overdo it.

Good luck with the guitar! I hope you enjoy it :) it's always a ***** at first but like any skill it takes patience.

So which book so far is your favourite? Mine so far is the restaurant at the end of the universe.
 
It was the restaurant at the end of the universe here as well, although the first book was good I think a lot was spoiled by having seen the movie, even though I loved that as well, and now having read the book can say they did a good job staying true to the story... mostly!
 
MisterLonely said:
It was the restaurant at the end of the universe here as well, although the first book was good I think a lot was spoiled by having seen the movie, even though I loved that as well, and now having read the book can say they did a good job staying true to the story... mostly!

Yeah? I've still not seen the film. I want to wait until I've finished reading the series I think. My SO doesn't give the film a good review but he is harder to impress than me most of the time.
 
Brennabean said:
M_also_lonely said:
Brennabean said:
I'll give myself goals today and see if it works out. I don't think a schedule would do any good.

It doesn't. Mind can only plan, it cannot act. Only you can act.

But aren't we our minds?
Is there a difference between making a plan and acting on it?
 
M_also_lonely said:
Brennabean said:
M_also_lonely said:
Brennabean said:
I'll give myself goals today and see if it works out. I don't think a schedule would do any good.

It doesn't. Mind can only plan, it cannot act. Only you can act.

But aren't we our minds?
Is there a difference between making a plan and acting on it?
Depends on how you look at it I guess. Making a plan requires brain function of thinking and memorising, acting on it requires brain function, thinking and remembering and the central nervous system making our bodies move. So I could argue that our minds are capable of both. I look at things very literally as you can see lol. :)
 
One trick I do not to get bored is bodybuilding. It's an activity where you can let your mind wander to whatever it wants, burns you out physically and is good for you at the same time. It helped me a lot, I'm supposed to start again next month.
 

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