I need a solution to my problem

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Anubis

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Nov 28, 2017
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Hello,

Over my lifetime, I have found out the hard way (after its too late) that my parents and little brother (all the close family I have) are narcissistic, fake, heartless, fake Christian, crazy, selfish, mentally ill, sociopath, 2 faced jealous actors who pretend to be nice and put on a mask,  but are out to destroy my life and happiness. They have some very evil intentions. Their conscious is dead. They are just B.Sing me till they get a chance.. and behind back they envy.. and then they'll backstab me.. again. They have betrayed me and made me homeless once after taking advantage of my kindness. I lost a lot, I have no time to write everything down, It's too much. 

You see.. what I personally think it is is that my background is from the middle east.. and some people are very good looking.. so some people envy. Envy ( and the fear of envy) is a big part of the culture.

Sometimes I sit and think about my life.. and all the places I've lived in.. and I notice how I've been mistreated, backstabbed etc by some jealous people.. and it's like.. I just don't feel like eating or taking care of myself or living my life. As a matter of fact, I haven't felt good in a long time. I feel hopeless. What's the point of being well if someone will hate on you or find a way to cause you harm? It's a very bad feeling when you can't just live your life the way you want because of others or your own paranoia. It's like I want to be happy but I'm afraid. I also want to continue being a good person, treating others the same way I want to be treated.

And since all my family suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. I'm lonely. So I need to take care of myself again so that I can find love so that I don't be so lonely. But when I do take care of myself.. there comes some hater again!! It's like.. a vicious cycle. I need to put an end to this problem. I wanna feel free! 

So I guess what I want to know is which city or state is best for me? where do I fit in? I just want to put this burden behind me so that I can focus on other things. Any advice is appreciated.
 
Moving to a different city will not help. Also,. there are no quick fixes. You need to work through this.
 
I agree with loaded dog, unfortunately it doesn't matter where you go, your problems follow you. It's really tough but these are things we just have to face head on and tell the nasty thoughts to f*ck off. I know it doesn't help but I am sorry for your situation, you've had a really hard time. But luckily this feeling isn't permanent, it can change with time and effort :)
I hope you meet some good people who treat you right, there are lots of lovely people on here and that's a start. It sounds like your family aren't worth wasting energy on. Wish you the best dude.
✌️
 
Brennabean said:
I agree with loaded dog, unfortunately it doesn't matter where you go, your problems follow you. It's really tough but these are things we just have to face head on and tell the nasty thoughts to f*ck off. I know it doesn't help but I am sorry for your situation, you've had a really hard time. But luckily this feeling isn't permanent, it can change with time and effort :)
I hope you meet some good people who treat you right, there are lots of lovely people on here and that's a start. It sounds like your family aren't worth wasting energy on. Wish you the best dude.
✌️

Thank you both very much for your answers. If anyone else has any advice please reply. I really need it.

To be honest I'm tired of feeling  helplessness, depression, fear and of course.. loneliness. I feel lost and hopeless, but all that can change once I find what I'm looking for :).

I just wanna know.. which cities, states, or places in the US have the most, best looking, healthy, attractive people.. or maybe a place where jealousy is really looked down on?? hmm?
That's all I'm looking for.

I Know my question isn't politically correct.. but with the cultural change, rising obesity rates, and the many people letting themselves go and looking at you weird if you don't do the same..its gonna be impossible for me to be me..And so I will continue to be unhappy.

I have traveled to many states so I know what I'm talking about. The US is kind of segregated by lifestyle.

The solution to my problem would be to find and live in a place (somewhere in the US) where people are very "superficial". A place where people are well dressed. A place where people are physically fit. A place where people are "vain". A place where I fit in. 

As of right now I have no one.. just fake, evil family that i talk to over the phone after all they did to me out of envy.. because I have no one else to talk to.. sad.

So I need to find that right place..  Somewhere where I can just forget my sad past and be/focus on myself.

If someone helps me, I will be grateful to you forever.
 
You won't find that, no matter where you go you will run into jealous people. That's on them though not on you, you don't make them jealous they make themselves jealous. There's a little green eyed monster in everyone, some just show their monster and don't know how to control their jealousy. You will find haters and people who think they run the world no matter where you go. All you can really do is learn to tune them out and remind yourself that that is just them, you didn't make them that way.
 
Move to the country.
Forget about the best looking or most attractive people, because that attracts artificiality and fakeness most of the time.

But if you want tofind REAL people? Get in with country folk. Don't got a lot of time to look at People Magazine or post on facebook when you got 2 chords of wood to chop.

Even then, it depends on the people. But the odds are greater. There are asshats everywhere. The trick is to not care about them and not let them in your inner circle.

Good luck.
 
Because you are a human too and you have the right to be happy too? Are you saying that you can only care of your well being if others want you to?

2. There are three things you can do about them, love them, hate them and to be indifferent. Which one do you want?
 
Stay where you are. Own thias problem and work it. Moving is not an option.

I have a lot of time for Richard_39 but I disagree with him on this one. I've lived in big cities, and tiny little country places. The people are THE SAME. Trust me.
 
TheLoadedDog said:
Stay where you are.  Own thias problem and work it.  Moving is not an option.

I have a lot of time for Richard_39 but I disagree with him on this one.  I've lived in big cities, and tiny little country places.  The people are THE SAME.   Trust me.

:D 
I haven't. Pretty much always lived in a big city. Did spend some extended time vacationing in the country though, so I reckon my view might be skewed. I'll take Loaded's word for it, he's a much wiser man than I am.
 
Black Manta said:
Where do you live now?

I've lived In a lot of places. The las placed I lived in was ohio, and it really opened my eyes. I'll probably live around Chicago or Atlanta. I've been there and hi was really impressed.
 
Sometimes a little distance can change your whole perspective. And if your family is giving you crap because you're trying to take care of yourself and they seem to want you to be miserable like them?... Then, I think moving is a good idea, just far enough away to make it inconvenient for them to hassle you. (Don't disrupt your whole life for them)
As far as avoiding every hater... That's not possible. No matter where you move or work there's going to be someone who doesn't like you for some silly reason. It's just how it is. Not everyone is going to like you, and most likely you're not going to like everyone else either.
It sucks when your family is the problem though. If there's one thing you should be able to count on its them.
 
Does anyone have any new ideas? I gotta choose from Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles, or colorado but I'm not sure which one is best.
 
Anubis said:
Does anyone have any new ideas? I gotta choose from Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles, or colorado but I'm not sure which one is best.

My opinion:
Chicago - too many murders
Miami - hot weather, I wouldn't consider moving there
Los Angeles - lots of traffic and air pollution.  Doesn't sound very good.
Colorado - Beautiful scenery and a variety of weather. Relatively small towns, but big enough to have a variety of job opportunities.

I would choose Colorado without a second thought.  However, keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect place.
 
Guzheng said:
Anubis said:
Does anyone have any new ideas? I gotta choose from Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles, or colorado but I'm not sure which one is best.

My opinion:
Chicago - too many murders
Miami - hot weather, I wouldn't consider moving there
Los Angeles - lots of traffic and air pollution.  Doesn't sound very good.
Colorado - Beautiful scenery and a variety of weather. Relatively small towns, but big enough to have a variety of job opportunities.

I would choose Colorado without a second thought.  However, keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect place.

The lifestyle is the only thing I care about. The numbers lie.
 

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