Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
How did your lonliness happen?
#31
I cannot say that I was born to be alone or have always been lonely. No.

I had friends in my childhood and in my youth.
I could talk to many different people of my age.
It was easy to find somebody for communication.

I became lonely when my youth started to fade and when I was forced to start working.
When I was 18 I started working as a loader at a warehouse.
My work was hard and I almost had no free time for my personal life.
Thus my old friends had started to leave me. Some of them betrayed me and despised me because of my job.
In Russia, if you have no good education and no decent job, you will be despised: you will be an outcast.
In our country, without much money and respectable job, you are almost doomed.
So I became an outcast.
People who knew about my job and about my low income did not want to communicate with me.
Of course, I never could find a girlfriend: no girl want to have a connection with such a poor guy.
Thus I became alone.
Now I am 28 and I hardly have two or three old friends but meet them once in several months.
Reply
#32
My problem was mostly down to the fact that I didn't go through puberty when I should have done due to a rare condition that I have - I was on hormone treatment for over ten years, but was told that there was only so much it could do - for this reason I still appear younger than people my age - scrawny as well. I could also say that people see the hearing aids and assume that this means I'm dumb. But mostly, the lack of testosterone thing.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
Reply
#33
(12-19-2017, 03:07 AM)Seahorse Wrote: For me..I just didn't see it coming
 I was a busy girl..both of my parents were terminally ill back to back, I was working and taking care of them...I just didn't notice that none of my so called friends cared....until it was all over and no one was there. What's your story?

I've always been shy and more introvert than extrovert, but growing up I still had ample friends. I remember often looking at people, especially adults, and thinking why don't they have any friends? How do they cope? I also remember thinking that, that could never be me.

Today, I have nothing and find it difficult to make friends. Even when opportunities arise, I tend to make excuses or pull myself away. My problems began at varsity, when I lost my place in the hostel I was staying at and moved to a flat of my own. I think with my personality, that was a bad move. Over the next couple of years, I gradually lost contact with the real friends I had and only made friends on the surface.

I just wasn't letting people in anymore. Not like before. Haven't been able to turn it around ever since. I want to though.
Reply
#34
(11-28-2018, 12:17 PM)Paul Bauman Wrote: I cannot say that I was born to be alone or have always been lonely. No.

I had friends in my childhood and in my youth.
I could talk to many different people of my age.
It was easy to find somebody for communication.

I became lonely when my youth started to fade and when I was forced to start working.
When I was 18 I started working as a loader at a warehouse.
My work was hard and I almost had no free time for my personal life.
Thus my old friends had started to leave me. Some of them betrayed me and despised me because of my job.
In Russia, if you have no good education and no decent job, you will be despised: you will be an outcast.
In our country, without much money and respectable job, you are almost doomed.
So I became an outcast.
People who knew about my job and about my low income did not want to communicate with me.
Of course, I never could find a girlfriend: no girl want to have a connection with such a poor guy.
Thus I became alone.
Now I am 28 and I hardly have two or three old friends but meet them once in several mom

Wow, that's hectic. Besides the challenges you've faced, I've also found that making true friends once you start working is much harder. It seems to become less of a priority for some people, especially for those who are married or in relationships or who have children.
Reply
#35
I was very shy as a kid. I can remember feeling lonely at school in elementary, to the point that I felt ill and would get sent home a lot. I really preferred being at home, with my barbies, away from everyone else.

I think the loneliness really grabbed hold when I was ages 10-13. I can remember having a group of friends for awhile, but I just could not get along with them. I didn't have the desire to do the hanging out, doing sports and extra curricular, and being present they way that they did. And rather than meet people half way, I opted for dramatic exits.

I think it was a mix of not having the tools to participate like other kids were, as well as not having the motivation or desire to learn. At the time, being the daughter of the town drunk, I tended to make a lot of excuses about how I would never belong. I think that came naturally at the time.

Being an adult, it has been a lot easier to kind of develop my personality to be able to at least be in public and seem half normal. I still get anxiety about crowds, and that has amplified a bit since I chose to sober up.

My feelings of loneliness will probably always be around as long as I haven't put 100% work into developing myself.
"You are as you are until you are not"

[Image: CooperativeWigglyArieltoucan-max-1mb.gif]
Reply
#36
(12-26-2017, 11:36 PM)Moetan21 Wrote: I actually am constantly surrounded by people and interaction. I have a lot of friends and Im not boasting or anything but they're pretty good friends. I have everything at my hands, ticked off my goals. My life at school wasnt hard at all, I was always the nice girl that got the good grades and did everything by the book. But also experienced the night life and drinking university life as well.

Ive achieved everything that I put on my list when I was growing up, and yet I still feel unsatisfied.

Its the worst when youre among the people you love making memories and yet you feel foreign to it all.

I always wake up wishing I had another life.

To some I may sound ungrateful, but is it possible to feel lonely when youre everyday life consists of you being around so many people?

Okay this has turned into a vomit post haha thankyou.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Sure, to me your life sounds pretty good, but your life isn't about me or anyone else. It's about you and the important thing is that you're not happy with it.

Do you know what you still want? What you want to change?
Reply
#37
(11-28-2018, 12:17 PM)Paul Bauman Wrote: I cannot say that I was born to be alone or have always been lonely. No.

I had friends in my childhood and in my youth.
I could talk to many different people of my age.
It was easy to find somebody for communication.

I became lonely when my youth started to fade and when I was forced to start working.
When I was 18 I started working as a loader at a warehouse.
My work was hard and I almost had no free time for my personal life.
Thus my old friends had started to leave me. Some of them betrayed me and despised me because of my job.
In Russia, if you have no good education and no decent job, you will be despised: you will be an outcast.
In our country, without much money and respectable job, you are almost doomed.
So I became an outcast.
People who knew about my job and about my low income did not want to communicate with me.
Of course, I never could find a girlfriend: no girl want to have a connection with such a poor guy.
Thus I became alone.
Now I am 28 and I hardly have two or three old friends but meet them once in several months.

Paul, I know all about that particularly toxic aspect of Russian social culture, as my husband is from there! He did the "right path" academically, got what we call in the US a "master's degree," had the "right kind of job" in Russia (a "respectable" job). But then he moved here to the US, and it's really hard as an immigrant to get a "respectable" job right away. He works in retail. He is a manager now, but he had to start at the bottom, and I think some of his long distance friends judged him for it. They don't understand that the American economy is not some idyll (especially not now) and even professionals who were born here have a hard time finding a "good" job right now. I wish that you didn't have to experience so much isolation just because of your job. Society needs all jobs, and I think everyone who works for a living deserves respect no matter what they do.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Maybe Lonliness can be GOOD bearcat22 19 1,010 01-17-2019, 03:51 PM
Last Post: Jessicat
  Lonliness and abandonment GhostOfSociety 17 5,869 12-25-2018, 02:40 AM
Last Post: cosmosandmusiclover
  How to keep your sanity in times of lonliness ? Restless soul 43 8,245 11-28-2018, 05:16 AM
Last Post: Paul Bauman
  What is lonliness to you, and what would be the cure? Restless soul 36 5,150 11-29-2016, 08:30 PM
Last Post: Somnambulist
  Yes, lonliness does cause anger. I am living proof Restless soul 19 3,836 11-16-2016, 08:39 PM
Last Post: planetlonely23
  My Experience With Lonliness PixiePalace 9 3,111 10-03-2016, 12:50 AM
Last Post: JenniferJones
  There Can Be Diferent Types Of Lonliness, Which One Are You? Cypha 88 13,009 01-03-2015, 10:27 PM
Last Post: differentlonelygirl
  Lonliness is unbearable... Malrk 5 2,583 12-21-2014, 07:42 PM
Last Post: Seeker_2.0
  Lonliness cumulus.james 34 5,735 11-29-2014, 12:08 AM
Last Post: cumulus.james
  lonliness turning into anger Mr Hermit 25 5,978 10-01-2014, 06:24 AM
Last Post: SelfDefenseFamily

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)