Hard to Trust Others During a Depressive Episode

Does anyone here have this problem? You are making friends, getting on well with people, and then a depressive episode hits. Suddenly, those friendships seem somehow suspicious. You overanalyse everything said to you, facial expressions, compare actions with words spoken. All of a sudden, you feel like this people that claim to be your friends aren't really. They're just saying it. After all, if they are your friend, why don't they speak to you outside of work? If they are your friend, why do they hug others at work while you get a cursory hello? Why does it seem like they're uncomfortable since you opened up about your depression - at their request - and now feel like the potential for a strong friendship has gone?

Do you listen to these thoughts and doubts or just dismiss them as paranoia? Do you trust your instincts when depressed as being more honest and not blind to the truth of situations due to some hopeful delusion? Is it just the depressive episode or are these people really just not the sort of friends you need?

Unless you have close trusted friends I probably wouldn't share much about your depression with other people, even if they ask. Yes it sucks but people really don't want to know or get involved. I wouldn't say you were paranoid, but you obviously know that during depressive episodes that you view every thing more negatively.

Very familiar with those these days. I think they are generally true, but that i am the sole cause of them. With them i mean their actions.

I dismiss the outlandish ones, or i try to.

To your final question, definitely the first, probably also the latter.

Everyone is different. If somebody at work said hello to all the others but hugged only me, that's when I'd be wary. I'm not a buggy type though.

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Huggy not buggy. Edit doesn't seem to be working. This site ain't phone friendly.

Yeah I can resonate with this, I dont like the feeling though. I defs always wonder why it bothers me at particular times over others. Why do i notice it more today then the other days. I try and shut it down as much as I can though. As soon as the thought hits me then I try and go out of my way to be overly kind to that someone. lol

Seahorse said:

Unless you have close trusted friends I probably wouldn't share much about your depression with other people, even if they ask. Yes it sucks but people really don't want to know or get involved. I wouldn't say you were paranoid, but you obviously know that during depressive episodes that you view every thing more negatively.

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This person and I get on really well. She knew I was off and asked me what it was. I felt I was being unfair to her because I'd been different, so I told her about it. Didn't go into great swathes of detail. She was supportive and said her mother had depression as well so she knew all about it. It was on the next shift that she was a little off with me, but she is a mother and told me she was tired. My point was, she's slightly off because she says she's tired, but the mind in a depressive episode will make you think very irrationally, I find, though at others I think it can make you more aware of the truth of situations. 

That said, I mostly agree with you. I don't tell anyone about my depression. My family and girlfriend are usually the only ones. This woman is a trusted friend, and she's one of only two other people outside of that small group that I have told.

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Moetan21 said:

Yeah I can resonate with this, I dont like the feeling though. I defs always wonder why it bothers me at particular times over others. Why do i notice it more today then the other days. I try and shut it down as much as I can though. As soon as the thought hits me then I try and go out of my way to be overly kind to that someone. lol

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I don't get overly nice with them. I tend to go the other way. I'll go from really looking forward to seeing a friend to avoiding them because I can't shake the feeling that they are disingenuous and aren't really my friend. 

I find it to be a strange element of depression, the irrational thinking.

I don't know who is with me on this, but my depression is episodic. Now take me when I'm not depressed. I'm fine, it's a sunny day, God is in his heaven, I'm walking down the street, and then....

**THE HORROR**

Coming the other way, I see a friend or friends. People I REALLY like. Very close to me. I love them like brothers or sisters.....

SOMETIMES, I'LL DUCK DOWN A SIDE STREET OR HIDE IN A SHOP.

It doesn't mean I don't like them. It just means I'm not up for it at that particular moment.

I know I'm not the only one.

TheLoadedDog said:

I don't know who is with me on this, but my depression is episodic.  Now take me when I'm not depressed. I'm fine, it's a sunny day, God is in his heaven, I'm walking down the street, and then....

**THE HORROR**

Coming the other way, I see a friend or friends.  People I REALLY like.  Very close to me.  I love them like brothers or sisters.....

SOMETIMES, I'LL DUCK DOWN A SIDE STREET OR HIDE IN A SHOP.

It doesn't mean I don't like them.  It just means I'm not up for it at that particular moment.

I know I'm not the only one.

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No, You're not.

Happens to me when things are bad yup. It's a nice wait to ruin a friendship. Or at least strain it.

Nobody better be hugging me at work. I don't like people. I work with a bunch of cliquey man-sissies anyway. I swear they have gay orgies when I'm out of sight. Couldn't care less if I tried.

kamya said:

Happens to me when things are bad yup. It's a nice wait to ruin a friendship. Or at least strain it.

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I suppose we have to try to, despite the thoughts in our head, recognise that the depression is causing us to think irrationally and try to not let it affect our friendships. I'm lucky that I have a friend who understood my situation and has not changed with me. Despite that, even today, I was doubting the truthfulness of her claims. I won't say any more to her because if I continue to openly question her, it will definitely ruin things, even though these thoughts aren't under my control.