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I can't make friends at work and it makes my days super hard
#1
Most people at my workplace are somewhat friends with each other. They always find things to talk about. Then there's me, the one who barely looks anyone in the eye. I don't know why I'm so scared. I'm scared to show my true self. I get exhausted easily and I think it's better to always be quiet than sometimes be happy and talkative. It happened to me when I started working there. I always greeted everyone, smiling at everyone, talking, etc. But after a couple of days to a week I kind of shut down. It probably makes me look weird.

Sometimes I have a good day when I've managed to talk to some people. During those days I'm scared of tomorrow when I'll probably be quiet again and I would have to start it all over. I don't know if that makes any sense.

I feel awkward, sad, depressed, lonely every day at work. It's mentally and physically draining. I don't know how to make things better. I'm so invisible and quiet it's like I don't exist. I'm scared I'm making the work atmosphere bad because I feel I might seem rude to others? I don't know... :/
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#2
Hey there,

I've always had similar issues, I was lucky to come into an office with one co worker who needed exactly that, someone who wasn't a mr.popular or yapping his ears off all the time, gradually I grew into it and talk just came, it's not as if I talk a lot now, I'm still one of the more quiet ones, but that one colleague is the closest thing to a friend I have.

However scared you might e, it's time to slowly but surely show your true self, if you go through life staying hidden, you can't really expect people to want to get to know you, they would feel as much as if they were bothering you as you would walking up and talking to them, but sometimes you have to push through that, and learn from it, get in that mindset that allows you to be you, and be ok with whatever the outcome may be.

I hope you do slowly decide to venture out of that shell and communicate, interact and engage however awkwardly it may be Smile
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#3
when I first started at my work place 14 years ago, I barely spoke to people unless I had too, eventually I opened up to the people there a little and made a few acquaintances, one of those people has been my best friend for several years now. Being very introverted makes it hard for me with new members of staff usually.

Point is, people interact with others at different speeds, youll get comfortable eventually.

And if you dont, dont worry about it, you're there to work, not to socialize.
https://www.youtube.com/user/zibafu

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, its the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill
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#4
I've worked jobs that were physically or mentally exhausting, to the point where it was hard to focus on socializing. Keeping up a happy face all the time took so much energy. I don't know if that's the case for you, but you might be too hard on yourself if you're expecting 100% outgoing, 100% of the time. I don't think it's starting over to have quieter days.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#5
I'm the same. At work its extremely hard to keep a conversation going and I always feel inadequate next to my colleagues. I fin myself checking and replaying what I want to say to them in my head and then usually shut it down and just make myself invisible. It got better though, as time went by. I still can't hold a conversation but I now respond with longer sentences lol.

From me, if verbal interaction is difficult maybe all you need is to work on your body language, smile heaps nod in acknowledgement heaps even offering a coffee ?

Whatever it is like stated above. Don't be so hard on yourself, itl come when it comes and maybe one of your colleagues will approach you instead
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#6
I had exactly the same problem, and even though I was in the job almost 30 years, there were still some people I wasn’t comfortable around, even after all that time. But I made friends with some people, and would talk, however awkwardly, with the more gregarious popular people occasionally. I just came to learn that I couldn’t get on with everybody no matter what I wanted, and that that was fine.
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#7
Unless you are making them your enemy, you are fine. Believe me: ITS FINE, ITs okay. Relax. Don't worry about this, worrying won't change anything, atleast for the better.
________________________________________________________________
Smile   Toungue
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#8
Thank you for the responses. I've noticed that I'm most comfortable when I am on a mission: you know, when you're so focused on what you're doing and being busy, you forget about everyone else. But yeah, I will start to tell myself not to worry about being quiet. I have every right to be myself as everyone else. Smile
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#9
Very similiar things happened to me , with the difference im good looking and tall and sometimes i have great chances but i miss them due to insecurity and nerveousness.
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#10
Consistent effort over time counts, I think.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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