Share Your Doofus Moments

I still consider myself new here, but I suppose I've been here about a month and a bit, I think.  Anyway, for that entire month, I was wondering "Why do the regulars refer to the forums as ALL?"


Last night: "D'OH!!!!"    :club:



When I was younger, I walked past the King George Tavern in the Sydney CBD.  I asked my dad which of the various King Georges it was named after.

"You idiot," he said, "which two streets is it on the corner of?"

"Umm... King and George?  ....     Oh."

I had a friend who made up creative names to call people.

He was pretty funny.  I was young, and I copied him. 

Until....one day I called my Mom a "Scrodum-puss".  

I had no idea why she was upset. ??? :club:  

She gave me a dictionary when I got home and told me to look it up....then advised me to never use words that I did not know the meaning of.

yeah............. good lesson ( sorry Mom)

Pathfinder said:

I had a friend who made up creative names to call people.

He was pretty funny.  I was young, and I copied him. 

Until....one day I called my Mom a "Scrodum-puss".  

I had no idea why she was upset. ??? :club:  

She gave me a dictionary when I got home and told me to look it up....then advised me to never use words that I did not know the meaning of.

yeah............. good lesson ( sorry Mom)

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Is your "lamb poster" a close second?

That reminds me of when I was... dunno... eight years old maybe, I thought that "good riddance" was a nice thing to say to people. Made sense to my little two volt brain at the time - it had "good" in it, right? So, if relatives or friends had come to visit, when they left, I'd smile and give them a cheery "good riddance"!

My life consists of one doofus moment after the next. Sometimes I look for my glasses when they're on my head. I once put a towel in the freezer because I was cleaning and forgot it there, found it a week latter.
I regularly put ice cream back...in the fridge. Not the cooler. SO it becomes fowl smelling milk.
When I was a kid I was walking around with my eyes closed, telling my mom I knew exactly where I was and could navigate without looking. She didn't say a word and watched me ram face first into a tree.
I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
Ironically, I'm supposed to be a genius. Caught complex problems when I was little, when my friends at pre-school were learning how to count to 12, I was watching M.A.S.H and Star Trek with dad. Fixated on becoming James T. Kirk. Was reading astronomy books and made a somewhat working theory for time travel when I was 13 (probably wouldn't hold up to actual scientific scrutiny). Also started writting about 20 novels between then and 17.
Sometimes I wonder if my life was intentionally made out to be a big joke. One wonders.

TheLoadedDog said:

That reminds me of when I was... dunno... eight years old maybe, I thought that "good riddance" was a nice thing to say to people. Made sense to my little two volt brain at the time - it had "good" in it, right? So, if relatives or friends had come to visit, when they left, I'd smile and give them a cheery "good riddance"!

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Oh that did make me chuckle

I have had many moments, but the first one that springs to mind happened shortly after I had my daughter (so I am maintaining to this day it was mummy brain, lol )

I asked my husband (in all seriousness) if he thought the bank would be open on the following bank holiday Monday, then wondered why he was a) looking at me like I'd completely lost the plot, and b) trying very hard not to laugh. Took me over 45 minutes to remember that the bank doesn't open on a 'bank holiday', (at which point he did crack up laughing at me).

beautiful loser said:

Pathfinder said:

I had a friend who made up creative names to call people.

He was pretty funny.  I was young, and I copied him. 

Until....one day I called my Mom a "Scrodum-puss".  

I had no idea why she was upset. ??? :club:  

She gave me a dictionary when I got home and told me to look it up....then advised me to never use words that I did not know the meaning of.

yeah............. good lesson ( sorry Mom)

Click to expand...

Is your "lamb poster" a close second?

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Ahhhhh.....when I did not recognize the close up picture of Italy's "David" with sunglasses on as....Ummmm...."David".   I legitimately ( I think) thought that it looked like a sheep with a weird nose....... for three months mind you.......  ( okay...that part is embarrassing)  until someone told me what it was. Then I couldn't believe I didn't see it ( him) in all of his glory.  My daughter sent the postcard to me from Italy.  I wonder if she thought I would see a sheep ..... or "David" .   ( the little Rotter     )

It's still on my fridge.  When I ask, no one has yet to identify the post card as a Sheep with sunglasses on.  Hrumphhh.

When I was really young, I don't remember the age but certainly too young to know what I was saying - after watching the Blues Brothers, I randomly said to my Dad something like "I ******* hate the Illinois Nazi Party!"

Richard_39 said:

Also started writing about 20 novels between then and 17.

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That's really cool, Richard. What were your novels about?

[quote pid='865914' dateline='1517295894']

Richard_39 said:

Also started writing about 20 novels between then and 17.

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That's really cool, Richard.  What were your novels about?
[/quote]

Thanks, but not that much lol.
Several ideas that I never completed. Got maybe 20 pages or so of each except one at 50 pages. Always something else to do instead of write and these days, lacking inspiration.
I wrote several horror stories, several sci-fi stories, 2 romances, one more or less fake biographical story and a few short stories about several different ideas, some of them nothing in particular.
Point of note; I wrote a scenario for the return of Blofeld far, far long ago, way before Spectre was ever released and, without bragging, it was a HELLUVA lot better than their whole reboot/remake thing ;-)

You know those times when you say something awkward, and at that exact moment, for whatever reason, the conversation falls quiet, and your comment just rings out?

I was about three. On a bus with mum. And elderly lady gets on, and starts walking up the aisle looking for a seat. At that moment, the bus accelerates, and she has to hold on to the overhead hand grab bars. One hand in front of the other.

Tiny, juvenile TheLoadedDog pipes up crisply and clearly: VERY LIKE A MONKEY!

My mum later told me she wished the floor would open up and swallow us.

LOL That's hilarious ;-)

My first date with the mother of my children, I'm looking at her and trying to say how much my heart soars when I see her, how I feel transported. What came out is a very mean expression in french saying "Quand je te regarde, le coeur me lève" which basically means "When I look at you, I feel like throwing up".
Needless to say, never became a poet. ;-)

Get some English Lit into ya, my Francophone friend..

I wandered lonely as a cloud.
That floats on high o'er vales and hills.
When all at once I saw my dog being sick on the daffodils

This may come as a shock to some people but I've never watch ANY of the "Star Wars" films, never even took much notice of it. Up until a few years ago I thought "Darth Vader" was "Dark Vader".

Not sure if that counts. Probably.

9006 said:

This may come as a shock to some people but I've never watch ANY of the "Star Wars" films, never even took much notice of it. Up until a few years ago I thought "Darth Vader" was "Dark Vader".

Not sure if that counts. Probably.

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Translation in french is literally "Dark Vador".

So you're good ;-)

Richard_39 said:

9006 said:

This may come as a shock to some people but I've never watch ANY of the "Star Wars" films, never even took much notice of it. Up until a few years ago I thought "Darth Vader" was "Dark Vader".

Not sure if that counts. Probably.

Click to expand...

Translation in french is literally "Dark Vador".

So you're good ;-)

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Yeah but I didn't know this, so it still probably counts.

In one of my Networking labs I was sitting at one of the desktop computers we use in them but I also had my laptop out to do something with. Anyway, I saw something on the desktop screen that I wanted to type something for and I started to wonder why nothing was coming out on the screen. Took me a minute to realize I was using the laptop keyboard to try and type something on the desktop...Caused quite a bit of amusement, I'll leave it at that...

Paraiyar said:

In one of my Networking labs I was sitting at one of the desktop computers we use in them but I also had my laptop out to do something with. Anyway, I saw something on the desktop screen that I wanted to type something for and I started to wonder why nothing was coming out on the screen. Took me a minute to realize I was using the laptop keyboard to try and type something on the desktop...Caused quite a bit of amusement, I'll leave it at that...

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Lol, reminds me of something we used to do in college; swap the mouse/keyboard connections with the computer next to it and see how long it took someone to figure it out.

That moment when you get into your car on the passenger side, put on your belt and then realize your alone! But there are people on the sidewalk who have seen you....so you pretend your looking for something on the floor then quickly move to the drivers side and drive off quickly!

:club:

The neighbourhood I live in is called The Old Notheast, but often abbreviated as The ONE, yes Northeast is one word but I didn't make up the abbreviation. When I moved here I joined a neighbourhood association and people kept sending me messages welcome to "The ONE". I thought I had joined a cult

I walked into a glass door once. I was leaving a persons apartment through the sliding glass doors, my coworker had shut the door when he went out while I was talking to the customer. I did not know he had done it and turned around to walk out and wham. He was sitting in the truck laughing.