user 139760
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2017
- Messages
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Hi y'all.
Questions.
I'm full of questions these days. That and an enormous stress eating me alive, not to mention fears of all kind. I'm supposed to be strong and keep calm, but the waters have never been so murky and the seas never as enraged as in the middle of this storm.
I'm not unknown to people around here and appreciate all of your input. I really do. But I have to face the music; I don't really know what I'm doing and how to start doing it.
Most of you know the personal events that have kind of shattered my life. Those who don't can read about it on my other thread here https://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=37843.
I often get comments like "I don't know how you do it" or "I wouldn't be able to go through it" by people I talk to about all this. I can only reply what I always reply; neither do I. I wish this was just something someone would say as heard on some show or series, but it isn't. I'm not entirely sure I do cope with it, either.
Problems have arisen from these. Some days I'm hopeful, but to be honest, most of the time I'm scared shitless. Of even making a first step.
I have to change jobs. PRONTO. It needs to move. Yet the more I apply anywhere, the less they call me back. I'm kind of reaching boiling points. I have until July to find an appartments and yet, I have trouble making myself look for it now. I'm scared. I don't know how to say it, or how, but I'm scared. I basically get back home exhausted and fall asleep at 8 instead of looking seriously.
Trouble is, if I don't find either, I don't know what will happen. Figure my folks will take me back and I'll move to rawdon, until I find a job doesn't pay much somewhere there, to which I can't go to anyway because I don't have a car...none of us want that. But I'm starting to think I can't do this on my own. That I don't have the strenght or the energy to fight on those fronts at the same time.
I heard tell victims need to find stability to move on and cope when the going gets tough after something like this. Seems to me no one wants to give me that stability.
So my questions, among the many...how do I motivate myself? I feel like I'm carrying around a mountain a millions tons heavy and it gives me trouble just moving around during the day... I need the energy and tools to find a new job fast and find an appartment fast, but I lack the means and the will. I feel like sleeping all the time.
Dammit. If it weren't for money, I would have a lot less to juggle. Money, the biggest problem in life, the one major woe of humanity. The one thing many love and the one thing it would be good to hate and never need.
Questions.
I'm full of questions these days. That and an enormous stress eating me alive, not to mention fears of all kind. I'm supposed to be strong and keep calm, but the waters have never been so murky and the seas never as enraged as in the middle of this storm.
I'm not unknown to people around here and appreciate all of your input. I really do. But I have to face the music; I don't really know what I'm doing and how to start doing it.
Most of you know the personal events that have kind of shattered my life. Those who don't can read about it on my other thread here https://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=37843.
I often get comments like "I don't know how you do it" or "I wouldn't be able to go through it" by people I talk to about all this. I can only reply what I always reply; neither do I. I wish this was just something someone would say as heard on some show or series, but it isn't. I'm not entirely sure I do cope with it, either.
Problems have arisen from these. Some days I'm hopeful, but to be honest, most of the time I'm scared shitless. Of even making a first step.
I have to change jobs. PRONTO. It needs to move. Yet the more I apply anywhere, the less they call me back. I'm kind of reaching boiling points. I have until July to find an appartments and yet, I have trouble making myself look for it now. I'm scared. I don't know how to say it, or how, but I'm scared. I basically get back home exhausted and fall asleep at 8 instead of looking seriously.
Trouble is, if I don't find either, I don't know what will happen. Figure my folks will take me back and I'll move to rawdon, until I find a job doesn't pay much somewhere there, to which I can't go to anyway because I don't have a car...none of us want that. But I'm starting to think I can't do this on my own. That I don't have the strenght or the energy to fight on those fronts at the same time.
I heard tell victims need to find stability to move on and cope when the going gets tough after something like this. Seems to me no one wants to give me that stability.
So my questions, among the many...how do I motivate myself? I feel like I'm carrying around a mountain a millions tons heavy and it gives me trouble just moving around during the day... I need the energy and tools to find a new job fast and find an appartment fast, but I lack the means and the will. I feel like sleeping all the time.
Dammit. If it weren't for money, I would have a lot less to juggle. Money, the biggest problem in life, the one major woe of humanity. The one thing many love and the one thing it would be good to hate and never need.
