My loneliness is causing me extreme anger and agitation

Advice that may help, because I went through that same phase long ago; getting rid of this frustration is difficult, sometimes impossible. I struggled with this several years ago for a while, I had been single for about 4 years at that point and crap started happening. So I decided instead to focus that anger. I enrolled at a local gym, took some Muy Thai classes, some wrestling and boxing classes and proceeded to completely drain and drop myself systematically. Every time I got angry, I kept it in until I went to the gym and proceeded to destroy my body for 3 to 4 hours. It helped. It focused the bad guy away from people and innanimate objects and it was actually healthy for me.
Besides that, only thing that does help is time and solving one problem at a time. The mental discipline I got from combat sports helped me to deal with the feeling of wanting to set people on fire.
That's one of the things I could think of, I hope it helps.

Try some relaxing activities such as:

-getting out for a walk & some fresh air
-stretching & breathing exercises (great for releasing tension & can become a real please if you do them everyday).
-listen to uplifting music

I can relate to this somewhat. When things aren't going as planned it gets added to the list of negatives you already have, effecting your outlook at that minute. And once you cool off you're left thinking how there's something wrong with you... almost like it effects your subconscious so that feeling is always present. Then if something else happens to frustrate you it plays out along with how you feel about yourself... it's a cycle.

It's hard to kick since it's almost like a habit. Trying to surround yourself with positivity definitely helps, but is difficult. There's a lot of negative out there and changing how you see things is key. You can use whatever you like doing to help, so if you like reading read positive, constructive or pleasing books, if you like music try listening to something that makes you feel better (Music is quite powerful)... you get the idea.

I'm in the exact same predicament. I have so much rage from pent up grief and frustration that it's ridiculous. I try to talk myself out of it, try to be conscious of my reaction to the stimulus, but it is difficult. For me, I know it is my environment, and overall just feeling trapped in it as well as not really having any control at the moment over my life.

If you have the choice, perhaps you can try something new. I don't know where you live but here in the US they have seasonal mountain jobs. You meet up with people from all over the place for the summer and can socialize and work together. Could be great or honeysuckle depending on you're a misanthrope or not (because living and working with the same people can be difficult).

Or as mentioned, invest in a physical activity. Could be a stress reliever.

Matt L said:

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I've been suffering from this for the past few years but lately I feel its getting worse. I'm typically a laid back person overall but my pent up feelings of sadness, hopelessness and stress cause me to lash out over the simplest of things. Shortly before typing this my computer will randomly pause or the internet will lag for just a second, and it causes me to freak out. I feel my blood boil. I want to scream my heart out and lately I've made a hole in my desk from pounding it so often. Earlier today I had a minor melt down just because I thought my PS4 broke, turns out it wasn't plugged in. If something pisses me off at work I kick milk crates around in the cooler. I'm able to contain these feelings just enough to where people apparently don't know about it because nobody's confronted me but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I get so frustrated over everything and I gotta think its because I have no active positive emotions. If I'm not pissed off, I'm feeling sad. If I'm not sad I'm just blank. No friends to hang out with. No girls to be with of course. Nothing to do outside of work and sitting at home. When negative honeysuckle happens to me it stays with me for weeks because I've nothing to counter it. Hell it seems like the second I begin to feel not terrible something happens to piss me off like its the universes way of making sure I'm always unhappy. I hate my life.[/font]

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Loneliness isn't causing you to be angry, you just have unresolved other issues and loneliness is one of the things triggering your behavior outbursts.  Frustration is feelings of powerlessness, and when you feel that way, things in life don't seem fair, a situation or situations are out of control, and you don't know what to do about it.  The outbursts are no different than a child throwing a tantrum...for the same reasons. No coping skills are present and the only way to feel as though you do have control, is the same way as the child.

The good thing here is that you aren't a child, but an adult. Not to mention that for the time being, you've contained the behavior to when you're alone. Being lonely is something you have to cope with, along with many other things in life such as getting along with people (one of my problems).  The key to frustration, is gaining more power - and the key to gaining power is to begin educating yourself. A self-evaluation is the beginning, asking yourself why you are lonely, why are you socially isolated, what causes you to be so impatient?

I always say, you only live once. And if your system for dealing with life isn't working, you need to change and reform it.  Most people with anger issues are acting out their anger at the wrong targets disproportionately.  Mostly this has to do with not being honest with yourself, and what you're not facing or ashamed of.  I tell people that anger management classes are a complete waste of time....holding your breath, counting to 10, leaving the room, what the hell does that do in the big picture? nothing....sometimes it causes more problems.  You need to face your inner real reasons....  and then make a choice, what are you going to do about it?  Alot of times people prescribe "counseling" - and while it sounds so Ann Landerishly nice, it's generic advice.   Sure, if you can get counseling, that's great.... I have a counselor myself.  However, there are more bad counselors out there than good ones and in the end, YOU are your best counselor.  If you do happen to go that route, don't be lazy and stop there, use the counselor and in-between, educate yourself by digging deeper, along with following the counselor's advice if it's any good. If the counselor isn't helping you, please don't waste your time and don't feel guilty for getting rid of them. I dropped a counselor years ago who spent the entire session talking about himself, and I was having trouble staying awake. After the second session, I ended things. That dumb ass actually called me asking why I dropped him. I told him.

What you're ultimately going to have to do is honestly face what's bothering you about the past, then find some resources either online or a bookstore to help you develop a new life system.  That's what I did years ago. If you have anyone who you can use as a role model, fit them into your toolbox of resources. Start a notebook on your "self reform project." I understand anger and frustration, and what it does to a person.  It will ultimately unravel you and turn you into someone you do not like.  I hated myself and questioned whether the world would be better off without me.  And once you are that low, you either get a shovel and dig deeper, or you begin to come up with a system to reform your life.  Baby steps - a penny doesn't sound like much but 1000 of them can actually buy something.  Start with being honest with yourself and developing a new way to cope.

I am here to help, along with the rest of us.