I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I can tell you are really down by the words in your post. You mentioned you do AA meetings and therapy. Can I suggest something that might seem a little odd since it is a little different? Have you considered volunteering somewhere, like maybe a thrift shop or a shelter or something like that? I don't know why, but there is something very uplifting about helping those in need. I'm not saying to drop everything else and dive headlong into this, but maybe try it once or twice. What have you got to lose? If you need help finding somewhere near you, you can try contacting a community or fellowship type church. They usually have good links to outreach programs.
I used to visit my grandparents and uncle when they were alive, today I make it a point to see my father in law/mother in law and include them in everything I can. Because ity helps them. And that helps me. I went to a benefit and brought others with me for a longtime lost buddy a few weeks ago. Donated done cool raffle items, stuff like that does feel good, I'm always looking for practical opportunities such as this, usually I don't have to look very far. Thank You for the suggestions, maybe I'll delve a little deeper on them.
