What is your criteria for trust in making and sustaining any type of relationship?

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erifeulb

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There are 8 billion people in the world. If one isn't good for me then there should be plenty of chance in meeting another friend who is. But this doesn't appear to be happening so I must be doing something wrong or have some incorrect views.

My upbringing was warped in terms of who is bad i.e. people who do drugs, alcohol, have been to jail, perform or performed illegal activity, hurt others, act inappropriately.
I have come to learn that most if not all on the planet have done bad in some way to someone - including myself. It's all a matter of perception and experience.
:club: 

I am proud to say that I taught myself to ignore cultural, religious and racial beliefs. 
I thought this would open me up to a world of possibility but really to date it hasn't. If anything it has isolated me because I am not part of something with others I grew up with or meet. I stopped and avoided activities that I did not believe in.

My thoughts of family and friends are they are people like everyone else. if I don't see them often or know much of them, them I view them as strangers. Why should blood get special treatment, they are no more a life than any other.

I taught myself if anyone does something that hurts or hinders me then they might as well be dead (I do give chances - maybe still too many). Although I have made progress since doing this in my own life I still feel I am missing out because of my lack of relationships.
 
"It's all a matter of perception and experience."

That's all I need. That being said, I've never had trouble with general relationships. I pretty much xnayed romantic relationships. It always ends up being full of twists and cul-de-sacs and people not being honest enough to be themselves. I find I don't have the patience for it anymore and am unable to bring myself to feel either relaxed or comfortable anymore.
So yeah, probably hermit in the forest. Until a very special girl passes by, if ever.
She's going to have a fun time with me though. Even my therapist gets headache. Not because I'm overly complicated, but because I'm too demanding, both of myself and others.
...poor girls lol.
 
I don't trust anyone........And when I start to trust alarm bells start ringing in my head telling me do I really want to trust or should I turtle!

Its awful for those of us that have been traumatised in some way to make us feel like this but unfortunately that's life for a lot of people I'm afraid!

But there is the saying that there is definitely somebody for everybody and I am too waiting for that to happen!

Keep Positive! :D
 
Time and consistency. I could forgive rudeness, maybe, but not people who always seem to have some secret agenda or who keep doing it. Would maybe trust someone who has a criminal record for possession of marijuana, definitely not assault or hard drugs. People change in small ways but rarely big ones.
 
I can't really sustain any relationship. I don't trust people and that lack of trust leads me to pushing you away. I have a new friend at work and I didn't really want her to be my friend. But she persisted. I insulted her "ha ha" for weeks and she finally seems to be getting the message. I am messed up!
 
Xpendable said:
Can answer with more than "I don't know"

Yes, if they don't know how to communicate, we literally couldn't be anything.

I remember I was on a dating site once and some girl asked me about why I was here, past stories, etc, and I vented about a breakup with a friend because of her boyfriend that brought me here, expecting something from it.

Literally all I got was
"***** lol"

And I knew I couldn't stand this girl.
 

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