MisterLonely
Well-known member
Probably the most ugly thing to come across when looking to finding someone in life, yet it is often born from that very struggle...
I spend this weekend helping others one day, as I like being there for those I care about even if it's sometimes both physically and emotionally draining, and doing exercise, chores and some reading the other (today).
Day one was draining, but I was outgoing and cheerful, made a deeper level connection with a friend, and overall a great day, watch an episode of a show I liked in the evening and was in bed before midnight and actually sleeping well for once.
Day two (today), got out of bed and I had not even wasted the better part of the morning at that point, felt good, refreshed even, had a croissant for breakfast and decided this sunny but cold sunday morning was perfect for a run, so I got my gear on and went out for a 5k run that lifted me even further, the proverbial "runners high" I guess! After some small chores I decide it's time to catch up on something I have not taken the time for in some months, going to finish reading "Life, the Universe and everything", the third book in the Hitchhickers guide to the galaxy series and half finished since mid november!
Reading I hear a ruckus outside, my neighbour is putting something together on the field in front of the house, annoying much... yes he is, but I can deal with it
, continue reading and after some time I realize it's become quite loud outside, the thing my neighbour was putting up was a bouncy castle for his kids birthday party... I listen to it with a slight smile on my face, who doesn't love a bouncy castle.
Not long after I get up for a drink and watch them from my kitchen window, I see mom's and dad's chatting, laughing and having a good time as their kids play, and suddenly I feel so out of place in this world....
I feel that desperate need to be loved, have someone to hold and give my love to, and spend the next hour and a half crying non stop... I have to realize and accept I'll be desperate, and anyone that will have me will be so herself, and still it will be hard even then.
I wish there were more desperate people out there, life is no fun when you are one....
I spend this weekend helping others one day, as I like being there for those I care about even if it's sometimes both physically and emotionally draining, and doing exercise, chores and some reading the other (today).
Day one was draining, but I was outgoing and cheerful, made a deeper level connection with a friend, and overall a great day, watch an episode of a show I liked in the evening and was in bed before midnight and actually sleeping well for once.
Day two (today), got out of bed and I had not even wasted the better part of the morning at that point, felt good, refreshed even, had a croissant for breakfast and decided this sunny but cold sunday morning was perfect for a run, so I got my gear on and went out for a 5k run that lifted me even further, the proverbial "runners high" I guess! After some small chores I decide it's time to catch up on something I have not taken the time for in some months, going to finish reading "Life, the Universe and everything", the third book in the Hitchhickers guide to the galaxy series and half finished since mid november!
Reading I hear a ruckus outside, my neighbour is putting something together on the field in front of the house, annoying much... yes he is, but I can deal with it
, continue reading and after some time I realize it's become quite loud outside, the thing my neighbour was putting up was a bouncy castle for his kids birthday party... I listen to it with a slight smile on my face, who doesn't love a bouncy castle.Not long after I get up for a drink and watch them from my kitchen window, I see mom's and dad's chatting, laughing and having a good time as their kids play, and suddenly I feel so out of place in this world....
I feel that desperate need to be loved, have someone to hold and give my love to, and spend the next hour and a half crying non stop... I have to realize and accept I'll be desperate, and anyone that will have me will be so herself, and still it will be hard even then.
I wish there were more desperate people out there, life is no fun when you are one....
