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House wife happily married thinking
#1
Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am Happily stay home mom, of two kids. I do all house work, laundry and cook, faithful to my husband . My thing is I a friend of mine approached me with a situation, had me thinking.

The situation is , She said would it be nice if you had a female best friend that ya'll could talk to about anything, hang out during day with out the kids n husband around , and full around without the husband knowing ya'll did anything or anything going on. Just your friend  n your secret. She doesn't know where to begin to look for that friend. 

Any advice.

Cool
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#2
(02-27-2018, 12:29 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: and full around without the husband knowing ya'll did anything or anything going on.

Any advice.

Cool

Well...I'm not one to judge or immisce myself into the marriage of other people. Suffice it to say, I assume you mean have sex (fool around implies that) with that best friend.
I personally call that cheating. Considering I'm in a marriage and I love my husband (or wife in my case), I wouldn't sleep around.

I personally believe secrets are what destroy lives and cheating the first step to that destruction. Of course, your marriage might be of a different nature and you are a more liberated couple. In that case my advice would be meaningless.
So my advice, as it stands, is don't.
I believe there's a simple rule in life; don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you. So you have to ask yourself; how would you feel if you found out one morning that your husband has been fooling around with another man for 10 years and never told you about it?

In the end, though, the decision is yours.

Good day.
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#3
(02-27-2018, 12:42 AM)Richard_39 Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 12:29 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: and full around without the husband knowing ya'll did anything or anything going on.

Any advice.

Cool

Well...I'm not one to judge or immisce myself into the marriage of other people. Suffice it to say, I assume you mean have sex (fool around implies that) with that best friend.
I personally call that cheating. Considering I'm in a marriage and I love my husband (or wife in my case), I wouldn't sleep around.

I personally believe secrets are what destroy lives and cheating the first step to that destruction. Of course, your marriage might be of a different nature and you are a more liberated couple. In that case my advice would be meaningless.
So my advice, as it stands, is don't.
I believe there's a simple rule in life; don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you. So you have to ask yourself; how would you feel if you found out one morning that your husband has been fooling around with another man for 10 years and never told you about it?

In the end, though, the decision is yours.

Good day.

I   understand you point, very clear. On the other hand, I think she doesn't want to leave her husband because of Finical stability. (Money not everything) Then she stated that , What happens is her and this girl take things futher, make the decision to have a life together. So its a lot of up n downs. She just wanting to find that friend that will be each other back bones, n vent too, explore.
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#4
(02-27-2018, 12:48 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: I   understand you point, very clear. On the other hand, I think she doesn't want to leave her husband because of Finical stability. (Money not everything) Then she stated that , What happens is her and this girl take things futher, make the decision to have a life together. So its a lot of up n downs. She just wanting to find that friend that will be each other back bones, n vent too, explore.

Well, you can be her friend without jepordizing your own marriage. Everyone has close friends they can depend on for advice or support. But bringning in a physical dimension to it will most assuredly lead to complications in your own. Surely that must be clear.
Are you certain she's being honest with you, that it isn't just a pretense for having a sexual relationship with another women? Your name implies you wouldn't be opposed to the idea, as I imagine she would, but introducing new factors in relationships can cause instability.
I'm old school. Rather black and white to, which causes people who know me no end of incomprehension. If I was in your situation and was approached in this manner, and was interested, for all parties involved, I would propose she leave her husband first, as I would leave mine, before proceeding with the relationship. If either of us, or BOTH of us, were unhappy.
If that is not the case, I would not entertain the notion for a second, because faithfulness in a marriage is to me the purpose of the marriage, it's meaning. The voews are more than words to me, but an idea. I know in 2018, cheating in a marriage happens much more often ,ideas are more liberal. In the end, the choice is yours, but considering how I view the ideals behind it, my stance would remain the same.
In the end, it'll be your decision, but I stand to term to say that you can be a better friend to her by helping her with her problems, instead of allowing hers to create some for you.
You have a decision of your own to make. Add up the pros and cons and the possible outcomes based on each choice.
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#5
Cheating is cheating. Doesn't matter how much you try to justify it, if you cheat, you cheat. No amount of reasoning or excuses would make it okay, in my opinion.

If she isn't happy, she should leave. Money, like you said, is definitely not everything. Be her FRIEND, with no benefits.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
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#6
(02-27-2018, 01:32 AM)Richard_39 Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 12:48 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: I   understand you point, very clear. On the other hand, I think she doesn't want to leave her husband because of Finical stability. (Money not everything) Then she stated that , What happens is her and this girl take things futher, make the decision to have a life together. So its a lot of up n downs. She just wanting to find that friend that will be each other back bones, n vent too, explore.

Well, you can be her friend without jepordizing your own marriage. Everyone has close friends they can depend on for advice or support. But bringning in a physical dimension to it will most assuredly lead to complications in your own. Surely that must be clear.
Are you certain she's being honest with you, that it isn't just a pretense for having a sexual relationship with another women? Your name implies you wouldn't be opposed to the idea, as I imagine she would, but introducing new factors in relationships can cause instability.
I'm old school. Rather black and white to, which causes people who know me no end of incomprehension. If I was in your situation and was approached in this manner, and was interested, for all parties involved, I would propose she leave her husband first, as I would leave mine, before proceeding with the relationship. If either of us, or BOTH of us, were unhappy.
If that is not the case, I would not entertain the notion for a second, because faithfulness in a marriage is to me the purpose of the marriage, it's meaning. The voews are more than words to me, but an idea. I know in 2018, cheating in a marriage happens much more often ,ideas are more liberal. In the end, the choice is yours, but considering how I view the ideals behind it, my stance would remain the same.
In the end, it'll be your decision, but I stand to term to say that you can be a better friend to her by helping her with her problems, instead of allowing hers to create some for you.
You have a decision of your own to make. Add up the pros and cons and the possible outcomes based on each choice.

So are so correct, that why I am only be a friend to her, with boundries
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#7
(02-27-2018, 12:48 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: I   understand you point, very clear. On the other hand, I think she doesn't want to leave her husband because of Finical stability. (Money not everything) Then she stated that , What happens is her and this girl take things futher, make the decision to have a life together. So its a lot of up n downs. She just wanting to find that friend that will be each other back bones, n vent too, explore.

So... she wants a marriage... 

I feel bad for your husbands. Supporting a couple stay at home moms and this is how they are repaid?  Rolleyes Really trying hard there to break the stereotype that women just see men as walking ATMs.  Big Grin

Ask your husbands, maybe they'd be ok with it.
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#8
(02-27-2018, 02:01 AM)kamya Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 12:48 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: I   understand you point, very clear. On the other hand, I think she doesn't want to leave her husband because of Finical stability. (Money not everything) Then she stated that , What happens is her and this girl take things futher, make the decision to have a life together. So its a lot of up n downs. She just wanting to find that friend that will be each other back bones, n vent too, explore.

So... she wants a marriage... 

I feel bad for your husbands. Supporting a couple stay at home moms and this is how they are repaid?  Rolleyes Really trying hard there to break the stereotype that women just see men as walking ATMs.  Big Grin

Ask your husbands, maybe they'd be ok with it.


Haha what an asinine comment (not that I'm surprised). Did you miss the part where the OP mentioned *her* contributions to the household?

As for the OP, I see you decided not to pursue an affair with your friend. That's the better choice. Since you mentioned being happily married, there was no point in you possibly jeopardizing your marriage just for some physical fun. If your friend won't be content with you just offering moral/emotional support, that's *her* problem.
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#9
(02-27-2018, 02:54 AM)reynard_muldrake Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 02:01 AM)kamya Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 12:48 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: I   understand you point, very clear. On the other hand, I think she doesn't want to leave her husband because of Finical stability. (Money not everything) Then she stated that , What happens is her and this girl take things futher, make the decision to have a life together. So its a lot of up n downs. She just wanting to find that friend that will be each other back bones, n vent too, explore.

So... she wants a marriage... 

I feel bad for your husbands. Supporting a couple stay at home moms and this is how they are repaid?  Rolleyes Really trying hard there to break the stereotype that women just see men as walking ATMs.  Big Grin

Ask your husbands, maybe they'd be ok with it.


Haha what an asinine comment (not that I'm surprised). Did you miss the part where the OP mentioned *her* contributions to the household?

As for the OP, I see you decided not to pursue an affair with your friend. That's the better choice. Since you mentioned being happily married, there was no point in you possibly jeopardizing your marriage just for some physical fun. If your friend won't be content with you just offering moral/emotional support, that's *her* problem.

Hey it's my biggest fan!

Are you referring to the things she mentions doing that normal people do every day already?

Also, why are you so obsessed with me?
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#10
(02-27-2018, 03:41 AM)kamya Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 02:54 AM)reynard_muldrake Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 02:01 AM)kamya Wrote:
(02-27-2018, 12:48 AM)Lonelybiwoman Wrote: I   understand you point, very clear. On the other hand, I think she doesn't want to leave her husband because of Finical stability. (Money not everything) Then she stated that , What happens is her and this girl take things futher, make the decision to have a life together. So its a lot of up n downs. She just wanting to find that friend that will be each other back bones, n vent too, explore.

So... she wants a marriage... 

I feel bad for your husbands. Supporting a couple stay at home moms and this is how they are repaid?  Rolleyes Really trying hard there to break the stereotype that women just see men as walking ATMs.  Big Grin

Ask your husbands, maybe they'd be ok with it.


Haha what an asinine comment (not that I'm surprised). Did you miss the part where the OP mentioned *her* contributions to the household?

As for the OP, I see you decided not to pursue an affair with your friend. That's the better choice. Since you mentioned being happily married, there was no point in you possibly jeopardizing your marriage just for some physical fun. If your friend won't be content with you just offering moral/emotional support, that's *her* problem.

Hey it's my biggest fan!

Are you referring to the things she mentions doing that normal people do every day already?

Also, why are you so obsessed with me?

I barely respond to your comments, though.  Rolleyes
I didn't imply she should be revered for housekeeping. *You*, though, were the one who implied she does nothing but financially drain her husband just because she's a stay-at-home mother. That, at best, is an outdated and regressive outlook.

Also, why are you so obsessed with whining about women on ALL?
Reply


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