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House wife happily married thinking
#31
(03-02-2018, 12:20 AM)Richard_39 Wrote:
(03-01-2018, 04:54 PM)Wintermute Wrote: I'd be open to it if that is what she needs to feel complete and while there might be some benefits to such an arrangement I wouldn't be surprised if a polyamorous relationship requires more effort to be viable in comparison to a tradition binary pairing.

Indeed.
It is more trouble than it's worth. It's also unstable. I do believe most people once they reach a certain point in their lives look for stability. My personal experience has shown me that more than two people are more often than not a crowd. And completely destabilizing.
Even if you ca control how you view and live the relationship to a satisfactory measure, it isn't necessarily the case with other people no matter their assurances. But I guess it really does depends more on the personality of the individuals rather than the situation itself.
In view of that, I didn't really see much benefit to it.

You are both now giving your opinion, which is true for no one else but yourself of course, when someone who isn't able to deal with a situation like that "commits" to one it will be doomed to fail, or at least doomed to ring lots of drama and emotional hurt.

However if any number of people without those reservations were to get together, I could see it as being a "lower stress" situation, as you and your partners have variety in their sexlife, you have distance from the same person without them having to e alone or feel bad and there is less stress from having to be the one that brings joy and happiness to your partners life. 

I also get that it is not something that would work for most people, I don't think I could do it myself, of course never been in a situation to find out for sure either.
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#32
(03-02-2018, 06:58 AM)MisterLonely Wrote: You are both now giving your opinion, which is true for no one else but yourself of course,

Hehe, but of course ;-)
My only venture into that particular world turned into a fiasco that cost me a relationship in the end, not to mention other more psychological consequences.
HOWEVER, if that works for some people, more power to them. I'd never dream of telling anyone how they're supposed to handle their sex lives, no matter what I think about it. I'm a big defender in people being allowed to do whatever they want, no matter how bright or dumb it may be. One of Life's great priviliges ;-)

That being said, while I've heard of situation where these work, I've as of yet never heard of a situation where it's worked for an extended period of time or as a stable relationship. One well publicized example is Charlie Sheen...that went well lol.
I do believe it needs to be handled in a certain manner and assembling all the elements to make it work is much more daunting and offers less guarantees of stability than traditional pairings.
Ironically, I think "selfless" comes to mind even more in these types of relationships than traditional ones, because you're dealing with feelings (one assumes the relationship is more than sexual in nature) of three people instead of just two. Granted though, rewards are probably augmented by a factor of 33% ;-)
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#33
(02-28-2018, 04:40 PM)Wintermute Wrote:
(02-28-2018, 04:22 PM)MisterLonely Wrote: So did you say "Ok, I'd like to fuck some other women as well, not love them but just sex you know", I wonder if that would have gotten the same reaction as you gave...  I'm not judging or anything, most of us men here like the idea of two women together after all. 

But what I am saying is that just because someone is bisexual it shouldn't be any different from a heterosexual or or homosexual relationship, I would like to believe she would be like "Ok, I have no problem with that", but I bet more often you'd get in trouble for it, why? because today women are led to believe they do us (men) a favour by being bi.... cause we like watching that shit :|

No, I would have been quite content with being dedicated to her (though I would think a bit less of her if she were to hook up with another woman purely for sex as I feel that that should follow from having genuine feelings for someone in the first place... I'm not an advocate for casual sex, though what consenting adults get up to outside of my personal life is not for me to judge).

The theme here being that while okay for women to expect monogamy, it's somehow "oppressive" for men expect it (particularly with, but not restricted to, instances when their partner is bisexual).
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#34
Bisexuality doesn't mean promiscuity... that just sounds like an excuse to me. To be attracted and willing to get physical with different genders doesn't mean you're required to regularly get physical with both to feel fullfiled.
If a bisexual woman is walking down the street with her boyfriend and starts checking out other women, he has the same right to be pissed off as she has if he does it.

If anyone feels unfulfilled in a monogamous relationship - leave, and find an arrangement that works for you with people that are willing to get in one of those arrangements... don't make people who signed up for a monogamous relationship to change and feel like the selfish asshole that won't budge. And, most of all, don't pretend like everything is A-OK because of some openness towards physical attraction while cheating and lying to your husband.

Kamya makes a great point. Willing to cheat to feel better about yourself while ignoring the honest way to deal with this because it's easier than finding themselves the arrangement that works while working their asses off to get some financial stability independently... That's being a selfish motherfucker and quite possibly a way worse version of a gold-digger. I'd feel sorry for that breathing ATM too.
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