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I don't have the strenght to respond to people
#1
This is so silly but very real to me. Someone talks to me but I don't know what to say,  I don't even realize I shoudl say something, or I don't have the strength to open my mouth. Online, irl. Sad  Whats wrong wiht me. I'm too good at ignorng people. No wonder nothing ever happens to me. I don't talk, I don't interact, I don't socialize. Where can I get the strength to open my mouth and let the words out?
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#2
Well I'd say here is a good start! Sometimes it's easier to "speak" in a group compared to one on one, we all live life at different speeds, some people think it's slow if they don't end up in bed with someone after a day, others think it's fast to say "hi" after just having met a person.

Accept that you need time and experience to overcome this fear, and that if you don't try, then you are sure you'll never overcome it, there really is nothing to lose!
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#3
Yeah I've actually realized that maybe I just am the kind of person who is slow and needs time. (and I am fine with that.) I have made some new friends at my workplace. But what bothers me is that i don't get along with everyone. That's only natural, right? You don't actually become friends with everyone. But I always, always feel like I am the one at fault if the person x and I don't talk with each other. I do my best I try to at least greet everyone but that's all there is to it. I have nothing to talk to them about. Then I look at others who talk with everyone in such a carefree way.
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#4
(03-08-2018, 05:13 AM)lovableplatypus Wrote: This is so silly but very real to me. Someone talks to me but I don't know what to say,  I don't even realize I shoudl say something, or I don't have the strength to open my mouth. Online, irl. Sad  Whats wrong wiht me. I'm too good at ignorng people. No wonder nothing ever happens to me. I don't talk, I don't interact, I don't socialize. Where can I get the strength to open my mouth and let the words out?

I kinda know how you feel. Some days I don't have the energy to speak to people. The last 4 or so years just feels like it's suddenly got harder to communicate with people. When someone new talks to me I just don't know what to say, conversations fall flat. I observe people talking to others and most people have an ability to bring up SOMETHING they have in common, or some way to keep up conversation.

Maybe I'm over-analysing it but when compared to myself I have nothing lol. Of course some people are easier to get on with than others, I mostly start talking more if I get to know them and vice versa. Problem is meeting strangers or new people it isn't that fast!
[Image: 2vj1q3q.jpg]
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#5
To me it's almost the opposite! With new people I can easily find things to talk about But when I see them again and again it becomes harder.. mostly because I don't share stuff about myself, I think.

(I mean it depends on the situation. For example at work I can chat with all the people when I'm new but after days or week or so I kind of realize how exhausted I am with this socializing thing. And if a new person starts at work I might talk to them as well but then after a while I won't).

I don't know if I make any sense.
1) It bothers me that I can't talk (casualy chit chat) with everyone. Makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.
2) With those who I find comfortable enough to chat with, I still can't share too much about me.

I'm beginning to feel this is some kind of personality disorder or something. I feel like no one knows me and I don't even give anyone the chance to. I'm too scared and confused. To be honest I feel like a different person with everyone. This whole thing is tearing me apart. I wonder if these are normal feelings or no? I'm way past the normal teenage confusion state, I'm in my mid 20's. I'm so depressed because of all of this.
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#6
Firstly, I love your username!
I'm a fairly extroverted person in general, but when I go through depressive phases I am exactly like how you described. So are you doing any thing for depression?
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#7
I think some people don't put as much of a filter on what they say as others (for better, or for worse). If something occurs to them, they don't analyze it for how funny it is, whether or not it's the right thing to say, whether or not it's too personal, etc. They just say it if it feels right to them. Others can get caught up thinking about what they say, or just not think of anything that seems right at all. Not sure if either is the case for you.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#8
(03-08-2018, 05:13 AM)lovableplatypus Wrote: This is so silly but very real to me. Someone talks to me but I don't know what to say,  I don't even realize I shoudl say something, or I don't have the strength to open my mouth. Online, irl. Sad  Whats wrong wiht me. I'm too good at ignorng people. No wonder nothing ever happens to me. I don't talk, I don't interact, I don't socialize. Where can I get the strength to open my mouth and let the words out?
It doesn't sound silly at all. I'm facing the same issues too. I have lots of ideas and things to say be it online or offline but can't seem to arrange my thoughts into words and get that out. So I just find it easier to listen to people and ask about them instead.


(03-11-2018, 09:28 AM)lovableplatypus Wrote: To me it's almost the opposite! With new people I can easily find things to talk about  But when I see them again and again it becomes harder.. mostly because I don't share stuff about myself, I think.

(I mean it depends on the situation. For example at work I can chat with all the people when I'm new but after days or week or so I kind of realize how exhausted I am with this socializing thing. And if a new person starts at work I might talk to them as well but then after a while I won't).

I don't know if I make any sense.
1) It bothers me that I can't talk (casualy chit chat) with everyone. Makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.
2) With those who I find comfortable enough to chat with, I still can't share too much about me.

I'm beginning to feel this is some kind of personality disorder or something. I feel like no one knows me and I don't even give anyone the chance to. I'm too scared and confused. To be honest I feel like a different person with everyone. This whole thing is tearing me apart. I wonder  if these are normal feelings or no? I'm way past the normal teenage confusion state, I'm in my mid 20's. I'm so depressed because of all of this.
You mentioned you feel exhausted with socializing. Would you say that you're an introvert?

You say it bothers you that you can't do casual chit chat with everyone. Does this mean small talks? Small talk is difficult for a lot of people I think and even more so if you're introverted. Do you enjoy these casual chit chats though?
It's okay not too share too much about yourself, nothing wrong with being a bit guarded. It's a workplace after all and I don't think it's a good idea to overshare personal details with workmates.

I'm in my 30s and I sometimes feel the way as you do now. I don't know if it's a personality disorder or not but I do think a lot of it stems from feeling too scared of what others may think of you if you do decide to open up. But I think I'm getting more comfortable with my introversion and with myself so I guess it bothers me less now compared to when I was in my 20s.
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