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"Are You Happy?"
#21
I am happy whatever I have in my life.and I thank for god about it.I am happy that doesn't mean I don't have problems in my life.i am struggling and facing loneliness .No friends left .But I am happy.just because I have "me". Happiness is everywhere but if you can only find it around you.Smile

unhappiness or happiness is a part of our life.
Strong people don't put others down,
They lift them up.

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#22
(04-05-2018, 12:15 PM)Case Wrote: People will sometimes ask me, "Are You Happy?"

It is a question that I have never been able to answer with any amount of clarity. 

Usually I say, "I guess," or even more accurately, I say, "I dunno," and shrug my shoulders.

And honestly, I am not sure what happiness is. What is the state of being happy? Is it the accumulated good feelings one gets about his or her standing in life? Is it the feeling of completing a task, fulfilling a promise, or making someone smile? Is it the feeling you get on a roller coaster, or the quiet of an empty room, sitting on a comfy couch and reading a good book? 

Clearly, I have a hard time quantifying happiness. 

I differentiate "happy" with "happiness." Being happy, one can have a moment of positivity, or laughter, or a good feeling. I can laugh at a sitcom, feel good when hugging someone I love, smile when I'm playing with a dog, etc. But those feelings end quickly. "Happiness" seems to be more of a longer term state. A feeling that lasts longer than a single moment.

Up to now, I have defined my own "happiness" as "The lack of pain." I would always say, "Well, I don't feel unhappy, so I suppose the opposite would mean I'm happy, right?" Or, would it?

Certainly, I enjoy certain experiences. I enjoy my quiet time. I enjoy the occasional night out with a friend. I enjoy sex, when I have it. I enjoy staying in and binge watching a TV series. If I enjoy something, is that happiness? 

I believe my entire life has been like UK weather. Mostly overcast, sometimes rainy, sometimes snowy, with the very little chance of clear blue skies lasting more than 5 minutes at a time. See, I imagine those clear blue skies as happiness. And I wonder if I am mis-categorizing my own feelings.

I perceive happiness to be the extreme upper part of the behavior scale. And I only reach that state maybe, if I am lucky, once in a year. So, I wonder if I feel the same as other people do, and they use different labels. What I would consider "Hoe hum," someone else would consider that to be happiness. But that doesn't feel right to me. Maybe I just don't feel happiness as much as other people. I see the joy in people's eyes and on their faces and I wonder, "When was the last time I felt that way?" And I don't have an answer to that.

Anyway, how do you define happiness? Do you believe it is simply the absence of pain, or is it a much stronger, longer-lasting feeling?

TL : DR - I am not sure if I understandi my own happiness, and I wonder if I am either not a happy person, or if I am mis-reading my emotions.

There's alot of people in relationships that say "I love you" yet have not yet felt or understood what true love really is, or feels like.  You say what you know. The thing about love...if you've NEVER experienced it before, once you do you know exactly what it is. The same thing is true of happiness.

Being happy, and happiness are a bit different, as you alluded to.  Then there is contentment.  It's my feeling that happiness is something that alot of people never experience in life...the same thing as true love.  I feel a person who is unlucky in love, who is unlucky in gaining friendships, needs to focus on their contentment in life. That requires a survey of want...doable wants, attainable wants and desires. Is it money?  Is it social stature? Is it health? Physical strength?  Sex?   

The desires of our lives can be collected like gold coins in Smaugs lair.  Yet do they truly bring happiness? Or do the bring contentment?  Contentment is a more sustainable state of being than happiness.  Happiness if you're lucky enough to have it, is a state of pure luck.
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#23
Yes, I'm happy with my life and satisfied. Do I get lonely? Sometimes I do. Think it's a pretty normal feeling to get. I'm in no rush for anything though. Right now I'm currently working on my goals and things I'd like to accomplishment.
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#24
No, but I am not unhappy either. More emotionally dead I think. Whenever I try to make myself happy I always end up feeling worse, so maybe emotional deadness is not the worst possible state for me.
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#25
(11-28-2018, 05:05 AM)Paul Bauman Wrote: I am only 28 but I am already tired of life and have no much energy to struggle for a better life.

I have no happiness but I feel no pain, at least.

For me, absence of pain is quite enough.

That's pretty much where I'm at at 39. No need to go through what I've already been through x 50 just to prove to others that I tried. 

A lack of major stress and some mildly entertaining distractions is enough.
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#26
yesh.

but just a couple of days ago i was feeling like shit.
"From my mind to these pages
to another time and another reader's eyes,
it's amazing how I can speak to you
over time and distance.
That is the Beauty of Literature."
-P.L.R.
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#27
For me, being happy means being content with my life in general and feeling like I'm in a place where I belong and have purpose.

I was always overweight at school, had self-esteem issues and many other issues, and had things I wanted to change, but I still felt a sense of happiness at the time. I knew I was supposed to be at school, I had good friends who I loved to spend time with and got along with almost everyone in my family. I also had hope, optimism and belief that good things were ahead.

At varsity, especially the first couple of years, I had an even bigger sense of happiness. I was studying at the place where I always wanted to study and was being exposed to new things all the time. I truly felt that, without believing in fate or anything, I was where I should be. That said, there were still things I were unhappy about and wanted to change, but in general I was happy and optimistic about the future.

Somewhere along the line that went away though. Now, everything just feels wrong and I'm not happy or content at all. My career is a mess, there are no friends and no feeling of being in a good place. I'm very thankful for my dogs and close family, but that's about it.

Happiness for me is therefore that feeling of belonging and being content that I've had at times.
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