S
Seosa
Guest
A number of years ago, in my first year at Uni, I joined this forum. There were so many good people, so many struggling like myself and many others. As is typical in my life, I struggled to fit in. Bizarre I know, struggling to fit in on a forum like this where people come to find solitude with each other, but I simply failed to find genuine common ground with people beyond being lonely. Eventually, my personal problems away from this forum worsened substantially, I was self harming and came close to a breakdown. In the end, I was dismissed from the forum due to, quite frankly, being a bit abhorrent. In my piss poor mental state, I turned against the people on the forum out of a feeling of rejection, and was duly turned away at the door and locked out. Rightly so, too.
Fast forward to April, 2018. I am three weeks away from turning 25. I graduated Uni 3 years ago, and have since had 3 different jobs. I was pretty good at all 3 jobs, but my face never really fit in at any of them, and I lost each one on personal grounds. Never sacked thankfully, just never successfully passing probation, etc. In addition to this, I have become more and more lonely with each passing year. Luckily I am very close with my parents, but a time will come where I will be completely alone and as I grow older, the reality increases of a life even more dark and depressing than before in a world that continues to deteriorate.
I have Aspergers on a minor level, though I can function to beyond a normal enough standard when I need to with people. Although I have dealt with the Aspergers relatively well since I was 16 or so, I have come to accept the discrete ways that Aspergers truly affects you, almost like grooves on a vinyl record. I have never truly had a friend, only casual acquaintances, and I am coming to accept that I will never have a companion in life. Honestly, as times goes on, I get the impression I would only annoy such an individual to the point where I would drive them away.
Anyway, I came back last night to have a read and I had a chuckle seeing a couple of old usernames bringing the positive spirit they do to the forum, though I pained at seeing yet more people suffer from this life we have to live. I'm not sure if I'll stick around, if I'll even be allowed to, but if I do, expect me to chip in on matters such as sport, life and music. Admittedly I'm in the midst of a vinyl obsession at the moment, quite typical given the reference I made in the previous paragraph. If you've sat through this, I can only apologise, but all I can say to everybody on here is stay strong, because there is a purpose for you in life if you can find the right path.
Fast forward to April, 2018. I am three weeks away from turning 25. I graduated Uni 3 years ago, and have since had 3 different jobs. I was pretty good at all 3 jobs, but my face never really fit in at any of them, and I lost each one on personal grounds. Never sacked thankfully, just never successfully passing probation, etc. In addition to this, I have become more and more lonely with each passing year. Luckily I am very close with my parents, but a time will come where I will be completely alone and as I grow older, the reality increases of a life even more dark and depressing than before in a world that continues to deteriorate.
I have Aspergers on a minor level, though I can function to beyond a normal enough standard when I need to with people. Although I have dealt with the Aspergers relatively well since I was 16 or so, I have come to accept the discrete ways that Aspergers truly affects you, almost like grooves on a vinyl record. I have never truly had a friend, only casual acquaintances, and I am coming to accept that I will never have a companion in life. Honestly, as times goes on, I get the impression I would only annoy such an individual to the point where I would drive them away.
Anyway, I came back last night to have a read and I had a chuckle seeing a couple of old usernames bringing the positive spirit they do to the forum, though I pained at seeing yet more people suffer from this life we have to live. I'm not sure if I'll stick around, if I'll even be allowed to, but if I do, expect me to chip in on matters such as sport, life and music. Admittedly I'm in the midst of a vinyl obsession at the moment, quite typical given the reference I made in the previous paragraph. If you've sat through this, I can only apologise, but all I can say to everybody on here is stay strong, because there is a purpose for you in life if you can find the right path.