Seeking Therapy a Weakness?

I have lived with depression for over a decade now and I have always stood strong in the face of it. However, recently, I have been having more and more depressive episodes and friends and family are urging me to seek therapy as they don't believe I'm dealing with it anymore. I have always had a strange sense of pride at being able to stand tall in this battle, but I relented yesterday and agreed to visit my GP and ask to be referred to a therapist. However, since then, I have been beset with doubts about it. I have become anxious at the thought of seeing someone because it basically says that the depression has beaten me, that I'm not strong enough and that I failed. I regret agreeing to get help and feel I should just continue on as I have been. I know I am strong enough to do this. I have done it for a long, long time, and I want to keep fighting it alone. I can't let it win.

If it was a physical ailment would you feel compelled to try to beat it by yourself, rejecting all professional help? Would you see it as a matter of strength?

You said it yourself that you've been fighting it for a long long time. That, to me, says that while you've been strong about fighting it, you can't fully do it on your own.
Now, why would it be weak for you to try something else to get better so you don't have to fight alone anymore? Where's the shame in that? And if this makes you better, it's unlikely you will care about whether or not it is a weakness. Asking for help is never a weakness.

I understand exactly how you feel, Jean-VIc. Recent adventures of mine over the last 8 or so months brought me down and for years, I,d been jokingly saying "I'm probably depressed, might have been for a few years, but I don't have time to deal with that crap". Never trusted Social Workers, shrinks or head doctors, because I figured they screwed you up more than made you better.
Like you I relented. Like you I kind of viewed it as a failiure. Problem is...all of us try to play at being Superman, see? Most of us like to think of ourself as tough, strong, able to take anything and manage it, plus save the world, get the girl, yadda yadda...it's a noble goal. But thing is...none of us really are. We all need a helping hand to keep us up once in a while. In some situations, just talking to a friend can help deal with it and move on. But not all situations in life are equal and sometimes you need a bigger dose of helping hand to deal with them. Sometimes the accumulation just get so big, you need better than to chat with your mom on the phone every night, or talking with your sister, or others things of the like.
I don't think it's letting depression win, though. Letting depression win is actually believing the feelings of worthlessness, or of lack of strenght, or of anything else that you feel, take over your life. Seeing someone when the going gets tough isn't the end of the fight...it's part of the battle. MUCH better to see someone than do some regrettable actions that harm those around you, one way or another.
So trust me. If it helps, it's not a failiure. Failiure is staying at home every night thinking your not worth anything.

Good luck man

I agree with the others, work with the therapist. Asking for help does not in any way mean that the depression has beaten you. Asking for help is an act of healthy life affirmation.

I don't think it's weak. It takes a bit of courage to ask for help. It takes even more courage to allow someone in enough in order to help you. I also think it's good to listen to a professional point of view. They might say something to you that makes you think in a better way for yourself.

Thank you to everyone for the input. I will take it all into consideration going forward.

You can win this battle! Asking a counselor to help you is not weak - it is smart! Think of all the big companies out there that pay consultants to help them run their business better. Lots of pro golfers seek out wise advice from their teachers. I have been to counselors myself - never regretted going. At a minimum, it helps you unload your burdens so you can focus better and see life in a better light. Good luck my friend. Prayers for you that all turns out well.