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You gotta ask yourself one question....do you feel lucky?
#1
...well do you, Punk?
;-)

In recent weeks, I've been discussing with my social group and pondering personal emotional health as a motivating factor in fighting depression, loneliness and in dealing with random events. I've had this concept, the concept of "luck" or randomness, heard several times in conversation and somehow feel it's often understated a condition in having a healthy emotional reflection of one's own self.
Of course, whenever I hear the english term "luck", I can't help but think of the very famous Dirty Harry line, since it became so iconic, but I realize that the question we need to ask ourselves sometimes is, indeed, just that. Because if we don't "feel lucky", odds are it WILL negatively impact our emotional health or growth and, by ricochet, our views and opinions of the world around us.
I for one, do not feel lucky anymore, not a whole lot though I've had a spread of it these last couple of weeks, enough to start me thinking things might actually end up working out eventually.

So I return the question. Do you feel lucky?


Well...do you, Punk? Big Grin

Also, as a secondary question; how can we influence our outlook if we indeed do not feel we're lucky, wether it be specifically towards certain things or events, or just in general?
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#2
I don't feel lucky.....but I don't feel unlucky. I don't really believe in luck that way. Yes, I believe there is luck in the world, but I think a lot of it is just day to day chance.
I think the luck you are referring to is somewhat based on your outlook in life. I don't believe a person is lucky or unlucky. Like if you're depressed and can't seem to get things to go your way, you might feel like you are unlucky, but chances are high that it's based on what you are doing, or in this example, what you are NOT doing. Whereas a person who isn't depressed and is motivated/determined as hell is more likely to accomplish what they set out to do.

I think confidence is how you can influence. Yes, I know several people are really starting to hate that word, but I don't care, it's a game changer in just about every situation.
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#3
Well, I don't know if I'm expressing this right, but as an example of how our analysis came about, there's this guy we'll invent that I have of course never before met in my life.
This man is married, has a wonderful relationship with his wife, has a son he loves and takes care of, has a good job in which he excels and enjoys...yet, as he told us(fictionally, of course), he's depressed as all hell, hates life and wants to kill himself. This fictional man is on anti-depressants given to him by his doctor and regularly talks to suicide hotlines, because he knows very well from one experience in the past, that he could do it, but will not want todo it. Pressed on the issue, this man that does not exist explained to us in great detail the contradiction, and he knows as WELL it's a contradiction, about everything in his situation and the way he feels right now about it all. He says "I know I have EVERY reason to want to stay alive, every reason to be happy, yet...I don't. I don't feel LUCKY to have everything I have, I feel undeserving of it sometimes and I feel it all doesn't matter". He put a lot of emphasis on the fact that, not only in life in general, but in the feeling that he feels in his day to day, he doesn't feel lucky. I guess you could insert the term "greateful" or "fortunate" as well, which brought all of us to ponder that feeling, the feeling of gratefulness or happiness at having a good sutuation, of feeling lucky in your life to have those things and how, apparently, it can operate independently of a situation where all the winning conditions exists to be happy in life. His own fictional words as well.

I don't really believe it's a question of confidence. This fictional man is loaded with confidence, probably much more so than I am, and I am not an un-confident person myself. At least it didn't particularly strike me as being confidence was an issue. Outlook on life however, I do agree, I thnk it depends on how you look at it.
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#4
Confidence, I think, can be tricky. You can have "confidence" that you display outward for the world (think "fake it til you make it" type of thing), and then there's actual confidence that is real. Take a drug addict or alcoholic, for example. They can say they want to quit and get better all they want, but it likely won't happen until something happens that take them lower than they have ever been or likely ever will go.
Or even like people who are depressed or lonely, of course they WANT to get better and get out of the situations they are in, but doing the actual work is hard and wanting it isn't enough if you don't have the willpower and determination to actually make it "worth it" or whatever.

Unless a person is you, you can never really know what's actually going on with them. Honestly, even if it is you, it's unlikely you are being 100% truthful with yourself because the truth is a damn hard thing to face.

Getting true confidence is also pretty damn hard because you likely won't get that until you face the truth and figure out why you are depressed and how to get out of the hole you are in. I think in that kind of situation, you make your own luck. Glass half full/half empty kind of thing. Find what works for you and make it work. The problem is, depressed people are going to find it harder to get out there and make their own luck because of their outlook on life and don't often want to force themselves to do shit they don't want to do because, in their minds, it's more like "what's the point."
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#5
(05-01-2018, 05:31 AM)Richard_39 Wrote: ...well do you, Punk?
;-)

In recent weeks, I've been discussing with my social group and pondering personal emotional health as a motivating factor in fighting depression, loneliness and in dealing with random events. I've had this concept, the concept of "luck" or randomness, heard several times in conversation and somehow feel it's often understated a condition in having a healthy emotional reflection of one's own self.
Of course, whenever I hear the english term "luck", I can't help but think of the very famous Dirty Harry line, since it became so iconic, but I realize that the question we need to ask ourselves sometimes is, indeed, just that. Because if we don't "feel lucky", odds are it WILL negatively impact our emotional health or growth and, by ricochet, our views and opinions of the world around us.
I for one, do not feel lucky anymore, not a whole lot though I've had a spread of it these last couple of weeks, enough to start me thinking things might actually end up working out eventually.

So I return the question. Do you feel lucky?


Well...do you, Punk? Big Grin

Also, as a secondary question; how can we influence our outlook if we indeed do not feel we're lucky, wether it be specifically towards certain things or events, or just in general?
I'll tell you one thing, I do believe in bad luck.  I know a few people who just don't seem to get a break.  As for influencing luck one way or another, through our disposition, our attitude and basic state of mind and emotions.  A deep topic, yet I do feel we can be responsible for some certain outcomes - "threw a wrench into things" comes to mind. Our mind - will - and emotions are intimately connected, and if you've heard the old term "self realization" and know anything about it, you can know that depression can be dealt with the exact same way dreamscapers control their dreams. It's the exact same system, only the focus has changed.

Thats a pretty deep topic to share with a social group. I don't have too many people I can talk about things like that with.
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#6
(05-02-2018, 06:57 AM)morrowrd Wrote: I'll tell you one thing, I do believe in bad luck.  I know a few people who just don't seem to get a break.  As for influencing luck one way or another, through our disposition, our attitude and basic state of mind and emotions.  A deep topic, yet I do feel we can be responsible for some certain outcomes - "threw a wrench into things" comes to mind. Our mind - will - and emotions are intimately connected, and if you've heard the old term "self realization" and know anything about it, you can know that depression can be dealt with the exact same way dreamscapers control their dreams. It's the exact same system, only the focus has changed.

Thats a pretty deep topic to share with a social group. I don't have too many people I can talk about things like that with.

Haha, well, the funny thing is, at first I was telling my sister "Listen, I don't know if this thing is really for me, there's some guys with some REAL problems there", then, of course, with all the seriousness in the world, she looks at me and goes "Well bro....so do you" and i was like".....oh, right" lol.
It's a moral, social, emotional and problem support groups. Sometimes we just shoot the breeze and talk about lighter stuff, but other times, we get very deeply philosophical. Since this is my first experience, I have no idea if other groups talk about the same types of subjects. One of the benefits however, is it forms close friendships; two men there met each other through the group and have been going out together since then (because its a group open to all manner of beliefs, sexual orientations and what not, as long as it's respectful). But it, I don't know how to say this...it fills a void? Some are there because of heavy problems, others, like one very cool older gentleman, is there because of loneliness and isolation.
I do also believe in bad luck. In my case, the heavier stuff happened this last year, but I've felt kind of bad lucked for the last 10 years or so, like I can't seem to catch a break, try as I might. Though right now seems like a turning point (I hope!).
I used to believe more that luck was about influencing exterior factors, but from talking with these men among others, I have to realize that's simply not the case. Some people truly do have a bad run of epic proportion, that can sometimes last several years, try as they might, sometimes very wisely so, to improve a situation, it has a tendency to drop them down to nothing. One of said individuals I was mentioning above had exactly that for several years, though it's looking (and I wish him that) like a turning point right now.
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#7
Interesting thread this and has been niggling me somewhat as I cant seem to construct a coherent reply- so incoherent it is then  Smile  I like to think of myself as quite unflappable [tried flapping but never got off the ground] and don't have hissy fits if a preferred outcome doesn't materialize -a kind of 'don't be in opposition to what is' way of looking at things. I appreciate a run of luck but wont be doing cartwheels about it and similarly a bad run isn't going to make me throw myself of a cliff. Sometimes a misguided sense of confidence has kept me safe in different situations but in hindsight Ive thought jeez I was lucky there to get away with it [hence don't feel 'lucky' anymore just wiser].  I'm glad I don't believe in 'gods' of luck or have any lottery desires.....can imagine stopping to pick up a fiver and a piano falls on my head  Big Grin Ive heard some people can engineer this dreamscape of existence but haven't seen any evidence - it is rather a 'higher altitude' of view which gives a truer perspective and less highs and lows -but anyhow its all a dream.  Big Grin
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#8
Definitely lucky....I met my wife she pretty much sorted my life for the better even though I still winge occasionally about certain aspects overall I'm lucky.But then again I think I've worked for my luck too always made effort to be good to people,honest,never broken the law,tried to be a good influence to my kids,worked hard to build my business,met the right people that have helped my business develop.I suppose being overly cautious does help,not getting into risky activities,a bit boring I know but helps with luck I think.

Of course I've had some shit times but worked through them eventually and come out the other  end ok.That's my take on it.
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#9
So far I'm learning that if you roll with the punches and keep going and making the best of the situation it doesn't matter if you believe that you'll get lucky. Its funny the way certain past experiences and circumstances show up later on in life to open doors to certain opportunities. The bad luck forces you to learn how to deal with certain situations and gives you an edge over people that haven't had to go through it. Everyone's path is different. Everyone's unique path gives it's own unique advantages/ edges. If you are aware of those edges and take advantage of them then it can be surprising how beneficial that "bad luck" ends up being in the long run.

Bad luck can transform into good given enough time. =P

Then of course there are the cliche "Everything happens for a reason" or "There is always a silver lining" or "The universe is trying to teach you something" or "It is always darkest just before dawn" cliche lines. There are a lot of truths in most cliches though.

For me I don't really think I NEED to "feel lucky". I just have to have faith that I will do what I need to do to get where I want to be. It's not about whether I get lucky breaks or not. Honestly, the more I adhere to this mindset, the more lucky breaks I actually do get. It probably has something to do with putting yourself in control of your situation and doing what needs to be done without relying on luck, rather than giving control of your life up to the universe and praying it treats you well.

I personally think I'm strong enough mentally, and pragmatic enough that I believe I would find a way to keep going and make the best of just about any possible situation at this point.
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