Anyone achieved this....

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Joturbo

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Saw this tonite wondered what everyone thought?

Accepting who you are and learning to love being alone are essential to a happy life.

Think at my age now in my forties have accepted can't change who I am and I'm content with being alone but can't see myself ever loving it....

Any thoughts or opinions greatly appreciated.....
 
I am working on loving myself and trying to find happiness in being myself, and I have found more success now in relationships than when I was insecure and needing a relationship to fulfill me. I think that once you learn to love and accept yourself, you will find that more people will be drawn to, as people tend to be drawn to things that they need, and that you will find the happiness you crave eventually.
 
Thanks Wallflower is nice to see your finding your way and having success with it :) .and many thanks for replying .Don't think I could ever love myself too complicated for that but pretty much accepted my life will never change and think too cautious and stuck in my ways but I'm struggling with it at the present.

Hopefully others can give their experience of the above statement and whether it is achievable or whether they are happy or know someone that is really happy being alone....or any other takes on it.....

I'm not commenting anymore just interested thanks.
 
Joturbo said:
Saw this tonite wondered what everyone thought?

Accepting who you are and learning to love being alone are essential to a happy life.

Think at my age now in my forties have accepted can't change who I am and I'm content with being alone but can't see myself ever loving it....

Any thoughts or opinions greatly appreciated.....

I don't agree at all, if you are already happy with who are you then is fine, but if you still have personal problems then you might consider to change something about you. This "accepting who you are" is the same lazy philosophy of "you are beatifull even if you weight 400 pounds", in my opinion. People just accept themselves because they don't want to change, or because they are lazy, unmotivated etc Or maybe i'm wrong, who knows.

I'm alone as fresia and i have accepted it and i have also accepted who i am, a person that nontheless all the effort have never had a sincere friend, but i aint content being alone. This is why i'm trying to change. Even writing here is an attempt to socialize, to make new friends. I often think that i will die completely alone, but is still worth trying to do something. I can't think of dying without having tryed something to break out of this situation.

Hope that i wasn't too harsh, my vocabulary is pretty limited :p
 
God I'm such a twat..it is about loving yourself being comfortable in your own skin not about loving being alone  :club:.Think I'll go to work can cause less damage there I think :p.
 
Joturbo said:
God I'm such a twat..it is about loving yourself being comfortable in your own skin not about loving being alone  :club:.Think I'll go to work can cause less damage there I think :p.

Maybe i misunderstood your topic  :club:
 
I like who I am, it took me a long time to be content with myself, with the "fact" that I would be alone my whole life, I reached that point when I just turned 31, and then attracted a girl and 6 weeks later I was more lonely then ever and couldn't be content with what I had either :D

3 years later I am content again, for the most part... now I'd like to be content with someone in my life again.
 
I feel happy most of the time even though I am single and have zero luck with men. Occasionally something would trigger feelings of loneliness, but it only lasts a day or two and I try to acknowledge it and move on.

But I wouldn't want to give up looking for a partner just yet. I have a cut off time at 35, where I wouldn't actively socialise etc to meet someone. Right now, I am changing some things about myself that I think are the cause of men lacking interest in me. But if none of this works, I feel ok with it. I just don't want to be bitter when I am older for not having tried my best/doing my part.
 
Unix said:
Joturbo said:
Saw this tonite wondered what everyone thought?

Accepting who you are and learning to love being alone are essential to a happy life.

Think at my age now in my forties have accepted can't change who I am and I'm content with being alone but can't see myself ever loving it....

Any thoughts or opinions greatly appreciated.....

I don't agree at all, if you are already happy with who are you then is fine, but if you still have personal problems then you might consider to change something about you. This "accepting who you are" is the same lazy philosophy of "you are beatifull even if you weight 400 pounds", in my opinion. People just accept themselves because they don't want to change, or because they are lazy, unmotivated etc Or maybe i'm wrong, who knows.

I'm alone as fresia and i have accepted it and i have also accepted who i am, a person that nontheless all the effort have never had a sincere friend, but i aint content being alone. This is why i'm trying to change. Even writing here is an attempt to socialize, to make new friends. I often think that i will die completely alone, but is still worth trying to do something. I can't think of dying without having tryed something to break out of this situation.

Hope that i wasn't too harsh, my vocabulary is pretty limited :p

i agree with you on this, i accepted the fact people dont want to be around me, and when i get asked if i have any friends i will say with confidence "not even one". vydia and forums are the only way i can really talk to people
 
I have some discomfort with the term "accepting who you are" and my thoughts orbit around two points: Growing up is an unending, lifelong process....accepting who I am now, what I am now and how I'm living now is suggestive of not growing any more and just holding onto the same less-than-ideal patterns.
However: Self esteem is an essential foundation for personal growth and development, hence acceptance of one's inherent self worth is a prerequisite for successful growing up.

Sooo......If I'm gonna finally get my act together i gotta buy into the idea that I'm OK enough to work my way into getting more OK.

Or something like that. Psychotherapists might refer to the above ramblings as "free association".....It might lead to insights, maybe.
 
Joturbo said:
Saw this tonite wondered what everyone thought?

Accepting who you are and learning to love being alone are essential to a happy life.

Think at my age now in my forties have accepted can't change who I am and I'm content with being alone but can't see myself ever loving it....

Any thoughts or opinions greatly appreciated.....

There is a difference between cherishing my alone time and feeling the emptiness of loneliness. As an introvert, I am recharged whenever I am alone. However, my loneliness stems from a lack of friends and a lack of a romantic partner. I feel I can work on getting more friends, but I have given up on the romantic partner idea. We can't all have what we want in life.
 

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