I grew up in a family that started a local church in our living room. It eventually became an established local church - my parents were in the inner circle of leadership my entire childhood and into my young adult years. I had many friends and my social network and support system tied to this place for obvious reasons. The church was always my parent's priority - and their friends from there. We siblings nicknamed the "prayer line" as the gossip line, this joke name spread throughout the youth of the church. As a socially awkward child and teen, I found it frustrating growing up in that environment, to find myself and answers to all of my problems. Prayer didn't help, yet one man in that entire history, his name is John, lived his life right. He was my mentor, and primary male role model and I used his lifestyle as a template for my own personal reform. My new wife has met him, and knowing my story of personal reforms, paid close attention to him. In private, she told me, "I see alot of him in you., you really ought to tell him." So at my wedding in April, I was delighted to see him there supporting me. I pulled him aside, and told him how much of an influence he was. He hugged me, and thanked me.
Back to the main subject here, I found religion - this church in particularly, cultish. The inner circle was cliquey, they were hard on single adults and watched them like a hawk if they decided to start dating. They controlled the poor, the "benevolence fund" was a church welfare program, and it allowed church leaders access to the (usually single mom's) home and for a small amount of money, control. The youth and teens were heavily controlled, the seniors, the inner circle was very conditional - thus those people were controlled. Hell, there were 8 pedophiles in the church, a few were key members and leaders, and when they were caught, the police were NOT called, church leadership counseled them. Luckily I was never a victim, at that time of my life (and the era), I couldn't comprehend child molesting. It just wasn't really talked about openly. However, this practice of sweeping it under the carpet, once these dirty secrets were coming out, started the process of the church splitting - long story. At 15 I was kicked out of my home, lived on the streets for awhile, moved in with one of the church family's for a few months, then was shipped off to a bible school - for a few years. I lived there, and completed my high schooling, had some bible schooling, and that place is a story and adventure in itself. That bible school was a cult, a community of in grown religious people who all lived on the campus in the mountains.
I walked away from church and religion in my 20's and began exploring new spirituality. The longer I was away, them more of a birds-eye view I began to acquire about how off, and how controlled my life was. Hell, I still am doing damage control with some residual guilt for walking away. About 3 years ago, before I started dating my now wife, I began to get bored with my solitude non social life. My daily routines involved work, walking the dog, bike rides, hikes, and puttering around the house. My primary social outlet was the occasional dates I would go on courtesy of online dating. (another story) Peaceful, yes - but I needed something else. I had given up my community youth program because I didn't have a female partner helping me anymore. (My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, prior to her, my ex wife had assisted so I always had a female helper to work with or counsel female members) I felt I wanted to get involved in maybe charity work - and the fastest way I knew was to attend a church with a food ministry. So, I went online and looked up an inner city church in a community nearby, 18 miles away, to start attending and maybe get involved. The very first meeting I went to, I realized I no longer fit in, or could just sit through these services where I didn't agree. Everyone was so judgmental of the world. The pastor met with me, we had a very good conversation, and I could tell he wanted to use me there in some way. I told him I was interested in maybe helping in their food program, so he introduced me to the driver and a woman who were involved. It never went anywhere after that. The two following meetings I went to, I left early, angry and annoyed. The last one happened right after the passage of the marriage equality act... That pastor started a give and take forum after the sermon, about his feelings about congress passing that bill. People began to stand up, egging each other on, about the gays, and how the wildfires out west were god's judgement on this country for the passage of that bill. Now I'm not a big rainbow-flag waving man. I am however, big on equal rights and against bigotry. Here were a bunch of ******* bigots - getting each other worked up into almost a lynch mob. I almost stood up and became the counter voice except, this was their forum, their right to free speech. So I left and never returned. The pastor contacted me weeks later, asking if something happened to cause me to not return. I told him.
I have probably 5 more stories, maybe more, just as long if not longer to support my feeling that most churches are cults. Anytime a place controls your life both public and private, brings you guilt and fear, this place is a cult. It doesn't necessarily have to be a religious group either.