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A curious living 'ghost'
#1
Hello,

I'm brand new to this forum and happened upon it while doing a search for a curiosity I have. I did find some related threads but felt that this was best started anew.

So, about a few days ago, I kind of just looked back on my adult life, and even on into my teens, and have a realization that I'm at most times, a walking ghost. 

What I mean is, it's almost as if people don't even realize I'm around. (Obviously, yes, people interact with me and such), but whether it's on social media, online, in person, out and about, people generally do not really notice me. Even if they do notice me, people tend not to really engage me in true interaction. 

Like yesterday, I was in a fast lane grocery line. The person ahead of me had chosen something that needed a price check, so there was this small window of awkward time for everyone just waiting for the grocery attendant to come back with a price. But the checker didn't look at me, she looked at the person behind me and said sorry for the wait. Then, as I was paying and all that, she like barely even acknowledged me, maybe glanced my way once. It was so strange, and yet, this happens to me a lot.

Even with relatives that I may not have seen for a long time. In a situation like that, again, it's as if I wasn't even in the room at all.

There are times here and there where people do see me, and acknowledge me, even say something complimentary, and it's nearly shocking that I don't even know what to say. I try to show my gratitude but I'm certain it mostly just comes out as an awkward gesture and a smile.

I guess it's just more of a curiosity to me than anything. I've come to accept it and sometimes I even like it, for the most part. I don't mind not being noticed because I'm not particularly big on social interaction. And maybe I unknowingly give that vibe off, but I can tell you that I always try to be polite to people and I generally smile, or at least in my mind, try to seem approachable.

But due to how I have lived my life, and the fact that I do go my own path, it can be a little lonely. I had a harder time with this years ago, but now that I'm coming to the age of 40 soon, I've felt myself being more comfortable with just me and happy to keep people at arms length.

Any thoughts on this? Similar scenarios?
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#2
(06-15-2018, 09:51 AM)dazzle Wrote: Hello,

I'm brand new to this forum and happened upon it while doing a search for a curiosity I have. I did find some related threads but felt that this was best started anew.

So, about a few days ago, I kind of just looked back on my adult life, and even on into my teens, and have a realization that I'm at most times, a walking ghost. 

What I mean is, it's almost as if people don't even realize I'm around. (Obviously, yes, people interact with me and such), but whether it's on social media, online, in person, out and about, people generally do not really notice me. Even if they do notice me, people tend not to really engage me in true interaction. 

Like yesterday, I was in a fast lane grocery line. The person ahead of me had chosen something that needed a price check, so there was this small window of awkward time for everyone just waiting for the grocery attendant to come back with a price. But the checker didn't look at me, she looked at the person behind me and said sorry for the wait. Then, as I was paying and all that, she like barely even acknowledged me, maybe glanced my way once. It was so strange, and yet, this happens to me a lot.

Even with relatives that I may not have seen for a long time. In a situation like that, again, it's as if I wasn't even in the room at all.

There are times here and there where people do see me, and acknowledge me, even say something complimentary, and it's nearly shocking that I don't even know what to say. I try to show my gratitude but I'm certain it mostly just comes out as an awkward gesture and a smile.

I guess it's just more of a curiosity to me than anything. I've come to accept it and sometimes I even like it, for the most part. I don't mind not being noticed because I'm not particularly big on social interaction. And maybe I unknowingly give that vibe off, but I can tell you that I always try to be polite to people and I generally smile, or at least in my mind, try to seem approachable.

But due to how I have lived my life, and the fact that I do go my own path, it can be a little lonely. I had a harder time with this years ago, but now that I'm coming to the age of 40 soon, I've felt myself being more comfortable with just me and happy to keep people at arms length.

Any thoughts on this? Similar scenarios?


Have you considered applying for secret service? They love people who don't stand out, seriously. I tried and was refused because Im not "bland" enough, lol.
In some ways, I'm similar. Trust is a hard thing to come by nowadays. There just isnt that much of it going around anymore, seems to me. All I can say though, is Im trying to be more social and not commit to being too much of a loner. since its easier, kt musnt be the right thing to do...
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#3
I can certainly identify with this "ghost" feeling during certain times of my life. I have a feeling it is going to be more common now that I am on my own again. I do think there is a "vibe" that we all give off that makes us more or less approachable. In my early to mid 20's I was quite like you and could go through the grocery store, mall, etc... seemingly invisible. Even meetings with family seemed very artificial and I was not really connecting with anyone. For the most part I was ok with it as I did not really want attention on me, but if that is the only interaction you have for long periods it can become a problem. My issue went away when I got married and had a child, but I did notice that my wife apparently gave off a very different "vibe". It seemed like people were magnetically drawn to approach her in public even though there was an always present anger in her just under the surface.

So, it sounds like you are somewhat at peace with it and enjoy being unnoticed in the background to some extent. As long as you are getting interaction at a deeper level somewhere, I wouldn't worry too much about embracing your inner "ghost" if it feels right.
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#4
I certainly think you are not alone in this situation. I was an introvert before (and still am sometimes), and in high school I felt like a loner so I think I could relate.

This could be for a lot of reasons. Maybe the cashier had a busy day and is shy too, maybe your relatives are also shy or just don't know what to talk to you about.

I don't think other people purposely try to make you feel like a ghost. They obviously see you and are aware of you and interact with you when they need to.

I wonder if that cashier feels like a ghost too.
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