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wallflower79

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Background: I saw someone here do something similar to me, so I decided to attempt to keep a progress diary here to keep track of how I am doing over time and whether I am doing better or worse with my constantly changing ups and downs. Anyone can feel free to comment or not, but I will be reviving this thread from the dead on occasion, so be forewarned.
 
So I have 2 jobs now and people close to me are worried that I won't be able to handle it, which is a valid criticism, but I feel ok right now. I'm just worried that I might see a repeat of manic phases again and that I won't complete my training on time, which needs to be done by the 19th. I see the signs, but I feel like leaving my religion has changed me to the point that I feel safer in myself because I am no longer scared by Satan or worried that a devil will try and possess me. Getting rid of superstition has helped me a lot. Some things I have accomplished lately that I feel proud of:

-I wrote about a page for one of my novels
-I scheduled and requested off from my main job for the self defense training I need for my work, which is with the disabled
-I did some of my laundry, which had been piling up
-I opened a student savings account with a higher interest rate so that I can save up for law school next year
-I did a bit of studying for the upcoming LSAT, but I could definitely do better on that, but I also scheduled some study sessions with my study buddy, my cousin who wants to go to law school too
-I saw one of the guys I am dating recently, and drove all the way to the city to see him 
-I stopped taking the other idiot guy I am dating who is taking advantage of me
-I scheduled my certification exam for my Skills essay exam so that I can get a raise at work
-I didn't cry too much in the past week
-I bought a day planner and started calendaring again
-I stayed at work until close today
-I organized and color coded my budget spreadsheet

Some things I need to improve on:
- STUDYING MORE FOR THE LSAT
-Finishing my online training for my second job
-Finishing my laundry, which will likely pile up very quickly
-Need to go grocery shopping ASAP, I'm down to canned goods now it is getting pretty scary
-Need to clean my bathroom (though I will say that my roommate has been missing out on her turn a lot)
-Need to clean and organize my room again
-Need to be more social talking to acquaintances and new people, and not so standoffish
-Need to stop holding grudges
-Need to work on and finish my Italian duolingo
-Need to collect my mail again from my old place and update my address with the post office
-Need to make healthier meals
-Need to make an effort to cook more
-Need to keep my cool

I think I am doing ok, I just need to stop procrastinating certain things and stay on schedule and on top of all my duties. Hopefully this will help me stay more aware and keep me more accountable on this stuff.
 
Call me crazy, but I didn't see much of "have some fun" in that long list of duties. Remember, you need to make time for some of that to make any of the qbove worthwhile, kiddo.
Good job!
 
Richard_39 said:
Call me crazy, but I didn't see much of "have some fun" in that long list of duties. Remember, you need to make time for some of that to make any of the qbove worthwhile, kiddo.
Good job!

You are most definitely right, my friend. I can feel my sanity slowly starting to go. Also, I am sore from working out today. I do play dungeons and dragons every Wednesday, so that's fun. I scaled back my second job to one day a week. So there's that.
 
Update:

So since June 16 I have been working approximately 54 hours a week, 7 days a week. I don't know why I punish myself that way. I can't take no for an answer. There's something wrong with me. 

This is my typical week:

Monday: go to work at my law firm job. Come home and meet friends for coffee in the evening. Try and squeeze in some studying for the LSAT. 
Tuesday: go to work at my law firm job. Work out in the evening for about an hour. Come home and try and do some studying.
Wednesday: go to work at my law firm job. See my therapist after work. Go to a dungeons and dragons campaign in the evening.
Thursday: go to work at my law firm job. Work out in the evening for at least an hour. Try and do some studying.
Friday: go to work at my law firm job. Try and either do something social, or just relax. 
Saturday: wake up at 5am to go to the gym. Work out for about 2 hours. Shower and go to work at other job where I basically supervise disabled people, give them their meds, and record notes on their daily living activities. Go grocery shopping, come home and do laundry and clean. Then hopefully there is time to relax, if that guy I was dating who lives about 40 min away doesn't want to see me that night, which I am getting annoyed never comes down to see me.
Sunday: go to job with disabled people and watch over them. Come home, study, read, and maybe attempt to socialize with roommates. Sometimes go to church in the morning and do an evening shift at work instead. 

This has been my regular schedule since June now. I am losing my mind. I told the hr guy and they are scaling me back to one 6 hour shift a week. I am trying to work more on studying for the LSAT, since it is coming up. I took my paralegal skills test and hopefully I pass so I can get certified, as that would help me get good internships when I am in law school. Fingers crossed that this all works out!
 
That sounds like a tough schedule. You seem to be handling it well enough though. Good luck with everything!
 
wallflower79 said:
So I have 2 jobs now and people close to me are worried that I won't be able to handle it, which is a valid criticism, but I feel ok right now. I'm just worried that I might see a repeat of manic phases again and that I won't complete my training on time, which needs to be done by the 19th. I see the signs, but I feel like leaving my religion has changed me to the point that I feel safer in myself because I am no longer scared by Satan or worried that a devil will try and possess me. Getting rid of superstition has helped me a lot. Some things I have accomplished lately that I feel proud of:

-I wrote about a page for one of my novels
-I scheduled and requested off from my main job for the self defense training I need for my work, which is with the disabled
-I did some of my laundry, which had been piling up
-I opened a student savings account with a higher interest rate so that I can save up for law school next year
-I did a bit of studying for the upcoming LSAT, but I could definitely do better on that, but I also scheduled some study sessions with my study buddy, my cousin who wants to go to law school too
-I saw one of the guys I am dating recently, and drove all the way to the city to see him 
-I stopped taking the other idiot guy I am dating who is taking advantage of me
-I scheduled my certification exam for my Skills essay exam so that I can get a raise at work
-I didn't cry too much in the past week
-I bought a day planner and started calendaring again
-I stayed at work until close today
-I organized and color coded my budget spreadsheet

Some things I need to improve on:
- STUDYING MORE FOR THE LSAT
-Finishing my online training for my second job
-Finishing my laundry, which will likely pile up very quickly
-Need to go grocery shopping ASAP, I'm down to canned goods now it is getting pretty scary
-Need to clean my bathroom (though I will say that my roommate has been missing out on her turn a lot)
-Need to clean and organize my room again
-Need to be more social talking to acquaintances and new people, and not so standoffish
-Need to stop holding grudges
-Need to work on and finish my Italian duolingo
-Need to collect my mail again from my old place and update my address with the post office
-Need to make healthier meals
-Need to make an effort to cook more
-Need to keep my cool

I think I am doing ok, I just need to stop procrastinating certain things and stay on schedule and on top of all my duties. Hopefully this will help me stay more aware and keep me more accountable on this stuff.

Seems like your progressing well. Keep it up.
 
This makes me want to get my life in order or something. Glad for you!
 

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