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Nobody really knows how to help me
#11
(08-22-2018, 11:52 PM)YourAmigo2017 Wrote: Good morning,

You both mention that no one has been able to help! have you tried church, Priest or a pastor to pray for deliverance? I know for sure my daughter's depression did not completely go away when we turned to a local church pastor, but you would really need to open up and trust that you will be heal.

An alternative to the above could also be Hypnosis or reverse Hypnosis where they show you, your past lives and a lot of the times your problems now have to do with past issues.

I'm sorry just my two cents, trying to help to give you more options because this was not mentioned here.

Thanks for your suggestions, Amigo. 2 cents is not much, but it's money!

Trusting that you will be healed is easier said than done.  However, I am open to the idea that God can help me and guide me to a better state of mind than I am in right now.  I know someone who is firm in her beliefs and intends to work for the church someday, I will see if I can contact her and ask for help.
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#12
Hi, Juni. Let me say up front that I am in the process of getting into DBT for reasons similar to yours. Not that this forum isn't great, but I have found a lot of understanding people who can really relate to how I feel over at mentalhealthforum.net/. You might take a look. It really does help to be able to get out your feelings with people who have been (or are) there and can understand.

Just a thought.
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#13
I can relate. I don't feel anything either. I know I'm supposed to but I don't feel much of anything I just stop trying to feel it and stay depressed.
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#14
Juni, everybody knows, deep down, what the right thing to do is.

Unfortunately, many people mainly do what feels right, instead of what is right. Most of these don't even know the different. 
Often, the right thing to do goes against the grain of what feels right.

Sit for a while (at least half an hour) in quiet introspection, and search deep down for what is the right thing to do to get help, of even deeper still, how to help yourself.

Your answers are within you. It is generally called 'truth'. We all have a reference of truth within us. . . or how else how are we to recognize the truth when we hear it. Some say this reference of truth is our very spirit of life. I believe if everybody paid daily attention to their own truth, this world would be better place to live in.
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#15
I'm not gonna bull shit you and say everything's gonna be okay and that type of shit cuz you never know. But what I can tell you right now with a 100% honesty is to not beat yourself up for anything. Everyone has issues. Severity ranges yes, but you are part of this fucked up society a long with the rest of us which means that you are my brother/sister. We all have the same experiences some point in our lives. We all go through some sort of suffering, some sort of hardship. But to receive help, means to receive help from yourself too. I may not completely understand what you are going through at the moment, but I genuinely do care and hope that this does help you. Very cliché but I learned that everything is fucking possible when you take steps towards it. And the biggest step for you right now is to find something in your life that gives you motivation to carry on. Something to keep you holding on to hope. Love yourself fam.
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#16
(08-27-2018, 05:04 AM)LikeMinds Wrote: Hi, Juni.  Let me say up front that I am in the process of getting into DBT for reasons similar to yours.  Not that this forum isn't great, but I have found a lot of understanding people who can really relate to how I feel over at mentalhealthforum.net/.  You might take a look.  It really does help to be able to get out your feelings with people who have been (or are) there and can understand.  

Just a thought.

I'll check that out!
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#17
(08-12-2018, 02:06 PM)Guzheng Wrote: Hi Juni, nobody knows how to help me either!!!  I was told I had psychosis too.   I'm also depressed.  I met with a therapist weekly for a few months, and pretty much all I did was complain about random things that bothered me.  Not surprisingly, talking about how bad I felt didn't make me feel better.  She referred me to another therapist, who was too far away for me to see on a regular basis.  I went to the mental health hospital twice; it was nice of them to try, but it was pretty clear that they couldn't help me beyond preventing me from hurting myself or others.

DBT is a good treatment, I was given a brief introduction to it; however, it takes a lot of practice to learn to express emotions effectively.  Maybe there are Youtube videos that teach DBT - definitely worth searching for.

The way I experience emotions is similar to what you described.  A lot of things don't cause any emotional response in me, so I am emotionally numb sometimes.  But when something does cause me to feel an emotion, I feel all possible emotions at once. For example, I can't laugh at an internet joke without crying, and no, it isn't because the joke is that funny.  Another example, whenever I miss my ex, I feel happy. How does that make sense? Aren't you sad when you miss someone?  I am so confused by this.

After wasting one year of my life trying to get help, I have accepted the fact that no one is going to help me.  I struggle every day to stay focused on whatever activities I'm doing and avoid a mental breakdown.  I play "relaxing music", even though I don't think I have ever felt relaxed in my life, just lethargic, thoughtful, or curious.

Maybe we can help each other, because we are similar.  Send me a PM and let's communicate more.

I'm sorry for the late reply. I haven't used this forum often in my time of getting formally diagnosed.

Beyond my general psychosis, I've been diagnosed with BPD. You know, that one mental illness people made into a movie trope of the villain. You should definitely research it (not from Hollywood though) if you're having feelings similar to mine. I know it is improper to self-diagnose, but if you suspect that you might have BPD then you can bring that to the therapist directly to help them narrow it down. 
Common symptoms of BPD is high impulsiveness (which can lead to easy addictions), feeling too much or nothing at all (which ties into difficulty understanding emotions), persistence fear of rejection or abandonment (or perceived abandonment), and a few more since I don't want this post getting too long. You can read more about it here: https://www.psycom.net/depression.centra...rline.html

Whether or not you find BPD relatable in any way (you could have something else entirely, I'm not a doctor) I wanted to let you know that there is help. Even if it's painfully frustrating and takes a long time for people to figure out, there's help for you. Might just take a while (can't say I'm not frustrated with how long it took for me to get any semblance of help but it is there).
Unfortunately DBT is a process that does require a therapist but it's the best for this type of thing. That's why I think you should look into getting it.

I'm here if you need to talk further.

Hi! I know I haven't commented here in a while and most people might not see this, but I just wanted to let everyone know I appreciate all the replies I've gotten. You guys are wonderful! If anyone was worried about my disappearance (who knows) don't worry. I'm receiving help slowly.
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#18
Are you possibly having anxiety attacks?

Can you bypass certain things? Using your example about hair: could you find a picture on-line with the style you want before you get it cut to show it to the barber?
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#19
Juni, I have been trying to explain how I feel to my Doctor today, unsuccessfully.
I have never suffered from any form of mental health issue, until my breakdown early this year.
Now I am scouring the Internet o try to find some way to understand why my head is broken and how to fix it.
Nothing made sense until I read your words just now. For that I thank you. But you are still broken. I was hoping as I read your post I would learn something from you.
Nevertheless, exerts from your post will help me (hopefully) to better put into words my feelings when next I speak to my Doctor.

[my brain is so stressed that I can't express any of my emotions properly anymore. It just shuts down and I go through episodes of feeling literally void. It's like being half alive, half dead.]

That's ME. exactly.

[It's to the point where I have breakdowns because I can't even explain the smallest things. Everything is just bouncing around inside me. Hell, I can't even explain how I want my hair done. I just blank out and then that frustrates me so I get angrier and more upset until I just... blank emotionally. That's the only way I can really describe it. You just lose everything.]

It's like you are in my head.
Now I have to go research DBT.
I've read of CBT. Spoke with my doctor about it.
Is there a difference? CBT made sense to me, I thought "That's what I need".
I feel so sorry for you that you have gone through this as a child. It's horrible.
I am confident I can beat this, with the right help, if I can find someone who not only LISTENS to me when I am able to talk properly, but actually HEARS and UNDERSTAND what I am trying to convey.
Thank you for your post, it's like a light went on in my head.
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#20
Do you feel that way all the time?
I don't.  
Crowds, noise, stress, and sometimes my thoughts, set me off, being put on the spot.
eg. My Doctor. "Nice weather today eh"
Me "yeah the sun is out, it's lovely"
Doctor "So how can I help you today?"
My brain "blgfxddhgxcxdjjujgsxxdhvshgcvhhcvjhch"
Usually followed closely by a panic attack.
I want to understand.
I want them to understand.
I KNOW I could fix me if I could just figure out how.
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