Hard time coping as i go out of my teen age to adult

Hey hey , its been a long time since i visited here. I'm really really missing this place , so here i am again ... let's just start with the topic already.

I have a hard time dealing with social anxiety since i was a kid + shyness and insecurity even fear in some situations with bad people , or bad things happening. Well , i grew up and i learned that some of that stuff isn't worth to be fear or to be insecure about.... yet , i still have a lot of things to learn and do to just feel happy and not nerveous. The last few years were crucial , let's say from 2013. I've been in a relationship that ended so sadly for me(im a boy and then i was 15 or 16 if im right) , i was in my FIRST ever serious relationship for that age , or i thought i was. So it ended badly for me mostly , because i got depressed and started trying to get back to her but nothing worked ! - Zero experience , no knowledge no role models or whoever to tell me what to do and what not to! But that's the past so forget it! Then i met 1 person from the Internet from my town who i wanted to get help from. What he did was unthinkable , he helped me partly but he get the girl out of the job(even though he was 9 years older than her.... ) , ok so time passed i went to new school but BEFORE that i was training soccer , in the new school i met so many other people and faces that i didn't knew , 1 girl take my eye before even seen her in person. She just added me on fb! Also , i don't think im ugly or that kind of stuff , no i'm very handsome and even "big guy" , just i have to go to the gym and workout more to get in shape fully! 
So let's get to the next point -- > At that time , i didnt knew nobody i tried to make friends even through all this lack of much self confidence  , just trying and fighting the feeling of shyness and eventually succeeding. Then it took some time , people liked me but then the sh*t happen - being made fun of , disrespect , bullying and trying to bring me down and look down on me even through i was a soccer player at the time. I guess i had some missing qualities in my personality then... But everyone has flaws no matter who he/she is!
I didn't have much trust in the people at the time , as i was growing i had FEW friends no matter if in real life or online. The only place which i liked it very much to talk and write its in the Internet in fb / skype and CS 1.6 the game which i met many people (not in real life all but few of them...) , i had some girls which took my interest i even played better than before dressed and think better of me and my skills back then. And it helped a lot !
I don't know if it's me or my zodiac but i'm very introverted towards MOST of the people , not very talkative to anyone , just to people i chose to be extroverted towards.
Then i met new bunch of people , moved on to a new class , few failed and not happened relationships , but what i dont have to go in all of them to be cool! Its my choice. Then some things happen . I Started my first job after school , it wasn't as happy and cool as i expected but it was normal. Then i moved to another which i go very much out of the comfort zone and been there for so many time. I even met my girl from there and we are still together today (thank god ) ,  so at this point somebody is gonna ask me this - If you have her , why are you typing in here and not being happy with her instead? , I have many other things to do not just that.
I have to start working on myself , my knowledge and other stuff.... maybe books for friendships would be useful , conversation charisma or something and more. Wasn't it one of the books from dale carnegie? Which was it? Then , let me take you to the next chapter - i moved to another job , due to i was forced to go to highly paid job which i liked and also changed the enviroment with new people. It was bad at first , but then i met AWESOME and attractive people who helped me and not put me down(guess that's what it's to feel appreciated in a healthy social place , not in toxic one as before...) , At that time , in the 2018 beginning i moved out of my parents and live with her till this very day and im happy , but theres more to improve on.
When i was with my parents i grew up without my father  , my parents raised me but unfortunately i wasn't so rich and extroverted type so i had difficulties with money and socializing much , even though i had my chances to become "popular" but i refused it. So i made this decisions right now and from today IM NOT GONNA BE so much introverted and private person with everyone , because i dont want to be alone without friends. Then this goes to what i forgot to mention , the last few years were crucial because i learned so much lessons from friends , girls and events that occured in my life. I started earning money , i got a girlfriend which we both love each other so much , i knew new people who are friendly towards me , but i just dont give them the chance to get to know me so much( a thing i did since i was a kid towards bad people to prevent them hurting me or letting the wrong people into my life.) Many people come in my life , we shared we had fun and i developed close friendship but many also go (if not TOO many ) , some of them i really miss and want back , i tried to reach out to them several times but no effect or very little. I think MOST of my old friends sadly , forgotten me and moved on , they dont want nothing to do with me because i failed them somehow , i dont care about the past so much but for few people i do which were very valuable and true to me. But sometime i ask the question to myself was i valuable to them as they were to me? Why am i pushing people away what in my behavior isnt right so people are turned off someway?
I feel trapped in somekind of bad circle of failed friendships which i completely ruin (i dont know how , i dont try to do bad things to people most of the time , at the moment i got few friends both in real life and online but THATS NOT MUCH and i know i gotta change it and do something to gain new social circle and start all over again! Any comments that are helpful here would be appreciated , hope i might get out of this hard situation and circle today....:serious:

Hi there, I am 20 and female, I am still in college. I have similar experiences with social anxiety and trying to make friends. I have 2 friends that I talk to often, however the only reason I am friends with them is because they put in the effort to become friends with me. I ruined a lot of friendships throughout my life, some of which I really regret and feel guilty about. My grandmother had a saying, "Why are you so eager to be my friend, if you are so quick to run away?" A lot of people give me compliments and tell me that I am very valuable to them, a few months later or a few years later, they don't talk to me anymore. Are they just very busy? Or did they lie that I was very special to them???
I had the same idea as you: be less introverted, share more details about yourself, talk to more people and maybe the result will be having more friends. I tried this for three months, and out of 200 people that I spoke to at my college only 2 showed any interest in me. One person liked me romantically, which was great, but we broke up after only three months, because of something I said, but also in part because we were both too anxious to stay together. I am still very angry that relationship ended, it was a perfect match and should have lasted much longer than three months. The other person finds me a valuable friend, but doesn't talk to me much because he is a very private person.
Why is everyone so focused on themselves in college??? Plenty of nice people but only 1% want to spend time with me? Really? My attempt to find new friends by socializing more has failed, and honestly I am quite surprised that it didn't work. But don't lose hope! It may work for you even though it didn't work for me. There is only one way of forming a new social circle, and that is the hard way of meeting new people. It is like searching for a job: you are rejected or ignored many times and then finally you are hired. Good luck!

thanks for sharing the story

@reddeyesscott, It is always a struggle between teen age and adult. The main reason is that the teen is too young to be an adult, and the adult too old to be a teen. The best focus for you is to move towards becoming an adult, which generally means to start taking on more responsibilities towards becoming independent. This usually includes getting work, saving money, buying a car, dating, living away from family home, paying bills, cooking, keeping own place clean, inviting new friends for dinner, learning knew work skills, etc. This altered attitude of active learning sets one up to becoming a young adult.