clover4you said:
When you say "trouble" could it also mean a "troublED" individual? There are few people that I avoid because they will repeat everything and anything I say to everyone (and even skew my words), including to my superiors. Thus I steer far and clear to avoid any issues. This is what "trouble" means to me, what does it mean to you?
what i mean by trouble is if a person looks like they might be a hassle to deal with or cause you trouble in some way like they might have an attitude problem, they look dangerous, they carry a weapon or previously injured someone etc. In your case you avoid those that like to gossip and cause drama which is also a good reason.
clover4you said:
In regards to being unhygienic, my breath smells, but would that really be a reason people would avoid me? Especially if they never tried to talk to me in the first place?
Sometimes I feel creepy/weird because I sometimes think aloud and get anxious that I may something wrong when I'm socializing. In response to this, I will regret many thing I say and worry. However, I think the majority of that is in my head.
People won't know if you breath smells if they never talked to you, but if you breath smells you might be giving off an odor in your sweat which you might not notice but others especially girls will notice it. It just a guess but we shouldn't rule it out in any case, the best way to deal with body odor is to detox, go for few days fruits only diet and drink lots of water to allow your body to detox and washing your mouth with listerine once a while should be enough to end the smell.
what do you mean think aloud? do you say stuff out loud? as long as its subtle and your not talking to yourself in public and acting out or whatever like using hand gesture and talking to yourself then it shouldn't be a problem. I talk to myself sometimes but in a low tone and hardly audible to the people around me and when i do it i have my thinking face on so when someone catches me they know i'm just in deep thought, when someone catch me i just smile and they too just smile back, its a very casual thing.
from what your saying it seems your not very sure of yourself and are afraid of peoples opinion of you, and so you worry about what you say. let me tell you something i used to be the exact same, i don't talk much because i was afraid what i was saying was stupid or boring and people don't like me but at the same time i didn't like awkward silences because well its awkward lol. this is a fear based on lack of information and experience. I didn't know how to overcome that until i joined my friends working as a salesman. I was so awkward and shaking at the beginning as i was trying to sell to potential customers a pair of socks and a ruler, and i was shaking while i was saying it too.
However, after 2 weeks of going out everyday for 8 hours a day talking to different people my confidence grew and i started to even joke with the customers and it became fun as i finally was able to talk to people and be myself and have a laugh with different people. I did that job for only 3 months but my confidence grew so much and i could talk to anyone about anything and walk away not thinking or worrying about what i said. But after i quit that job and spent much alone time playing video games and hardly going out i lost that confidence and when i talk to people it was awkward again. So what i'm trying to say is that your communication and social skills is like a muscle if you don't work at it you lose it. Now i work in a supermarket at the checkouts and so i talk to people all the time and so my skills hasn't dull since. I actually gained new skills in leadership, taking initiative and problem solving as well so i'm pretty relax and casual when i talk, but there's still more i need to learn and improve on but now i'm clearly more aware of my weakness and consciously seek to improve them, where as before i didn't know what was wrong or how to fix anything.
So i recommend you do something similar, you don't have to become a salesman or working in retail, those are just two ways to help but there are many ways you can improve your social skills and improve your confidence, the aim of the game is to talk to lots of people all the time with the intention of making them genuinely smile. if you can do that then you win. However its best to do it in a casual way, don't just walk up to some random person and start telling them a story or joke, maybe next time your in the supermarket waiting in line you might just compliment someone on something like their watch or their shoes or whatever and go from there.
clover4you said:
I'm curious hat your opinion on this is: A very aggressive individual who constantly complains told me I'm "a little bit too soft." Apparently that is my reputation, how would you interpret that as an outsider looking in since I can't accurately interpret it myself without misconstruing it. Although, I feel the meaning is pretty obvious. lol
Soft probably implies that your timid and possibly a push over. I believe the best way to live is to believe in yourself, be
assertive and polite instead of aggressive and rough. both displays confidence and demands respect, but one will warm people up while the other heats and burns them, one encourages friends while the other encourages enemies, your choice.
clover4you said:
I do overreact to everything and take everything personally (I'm EXTREMELY sensitive, sometimes I have no idea why on earth my feelings would be hurt my something so negligible), even though it may not be directed towards me, it's a difficult habit to break and I'm unsure where it is rooted from. I just don't know how to dismiss this like normal do. Do you have tips on how to not take things seriously/personally?
I am lazy because of my mood, you hit that dead on the nail. I'm going to start going to the gym as I think it will improve my mood, Thank you.
I think your focusing outwards too much, you need to focus inwards on your wants and needs more now, and learn to love yourself more, when you don't have enough self love you start to think other don't like you too, and if other don't like you then whatever you say must be boring or bad and they will probably not like you even more. It's a cycle of misery really. How do you love yourself more? give more to yourself, wear the good clothes, take care of your body and your appearance, eat something nice once in a while, educate yourself with knowledge and skills. Like I've been saying before, focus on improving yourself everyday, health and fitness, career, relationships, skills and passion and all those things. its not a magical cure that will solve your problem in one day, its something you work on to grow stronger, wiser and happier, once you move up your problem will disappears. Then you'll be face with a different problem, which girl to go out with today lol.
Lastly i want to add, whenever you get overwhelmed with stressed, its best to find a place to ground yourself, close your eyes and breath in through your nose a deep relaxing breath and then exhale slowly. you will feel lighter and a bit better. Then go back to improving yourself.