still in love, heart broken to see them move on..

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

opex100

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2018
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
Location
earth
It's been months now.. and i'm still so alone.. and I still love you, so deeply.. spiritually. it hurts to see you move on, so easily.. I'm jealous how you can be ok without me. its so crazy to see how we transitioned to where we are now, that breaks my heart.. how we could love each other so, and now.. and now im just sitting alone in love......
 
Hey friend, I know it hurts and you’re heart may not be ready to move on, but it’s okay to feel bad. Nobody is expecting you to feel better right away. Take your time. Take time to love yourself.
 
toasty_one said:
Hey friend, I know it hurts and you’re heart may not be ready to move on, but it’s okay to feel bad. Nobody is expecting you to feel better right away. Take your time. Take time to love yourself.

hm.. thanks. i just feel awful, and i hate myself in a cycle of hate....i can barley function and im so drained.. i have no hope, no will...
 
opex100 said:
toasty_one said:
Hey friend, I know it hurts and you’re heart may not be ready to move on, but it’s okay to feel bad. Nobody is expecting you to feel better right away. Take your time. Take time to love yourself.

hm.. thanks. i just feel awful, and i hate myself in a cycle of hate....i can barley function and im so drained.. i have no hope, no will...

I understand, it’s tough. It’s important to let yourself get through it, talk to someone, let them no what is going on, there is no reason to do it alone.
 
toasty_one said:
opex100 said:
toasty_one said:
Hey friend, I know it hurts and you’re heart may not be ready to move on, but it’s okay to feel bad. Nobody is expecting you to feel better right away. Take your time. Take time to love yourself.

hm.. thanks. i just feel awful, and i hate myself in a cycle of hate....i can barley function and im so drained.. i have no hope, no will...

I understand, it’s tough. It’s important to let yourself get through it, talk to someone, let them no what is going on, there is no reason to do it alone.

getting help and talking to people is so.. alien.. i suck at it.. and everything is just to much.. but ive been trying, which is why im here..
 
Is fine that she is moving on with her life, you should do the same. As bad as it sounds we have no right to think that someone needs us. It always end in disappointment.

How old are you?
 
toasty_one said:
Hey friend, I know it hurts and you’re heart may not be ready to move on, but it’s okay to feel bad. Nobody is expecting you to feel better right away. Take your time. Take time to love yourself.

Thats excellent advice, Toasty_One
 
eventually they didnt work out, i was happy and somewhat was ok, still depressed and lonely for the most part, but as months past by my ex would randomly text or call me checking up on me or to say hi etc, she called crying a few times i think. i was like whoa, i figured it had to do with a guy or feeling lonely. but it did make me happy and i guess gave me false hopes.
she seemed to have given me signs that she still had feeling and an interest of a rekindle, thats what i thought but didnt want to believe. for a time i started feeling good towards her and thought we may actually do something again. well a couple days ago, 12/30 i think. we decided to get lunch, and it was nice. was. and she brought up topics about us and love that would of been way better left unsaid. besides catching up, still seeing how much a loser i am (i say), she seemed very uninterested and i sensed tension. for what tho, i was trying to have a good time with her, but i guess she couldnt not bring these things up, i think her reason is try to push me away idk. she said she wish i didnt love her...... as much as i do. but she asked me if i had found love or looked for or had luck on tinder, all no. she was surprised, psh. i asked, how about you. like an idiot trying to be nice. she said there were 2 guys she talked to, i only knew of the one i had previously mentioned in my first post. yeah what ever, beautiful free spirited women im not surprised for her. she had to tell me the 2nd guy,
that she went up to him and asked "have you been waiting for me?" like some love at first sight bullshit, how mystical. he said yes of course, any guy would respond positively to pretty girl going up and talking to them. they didnt work out either but they possibly could she says, she looked like she still wanted to, i asked if she liked him-no.
but also he was a very bad alcoholic so prob wont work? idk hope not honestly.. i want the best for her and for her to be happy, not with another guy unfortunately but thats what'll it be. never me again, pretty sure thats a quote....
well while talking she mentioned during a trip we took she felt anxious, i told her i felt anxious during another trip we took, but she was way more anxious than me that time to, but truth is she looked how i felt. we were at a festival and i was sooooo anxious, it definitely affected her....
so she said when we started dating is when she started becoming anxious and have hives from eczema. pretty much a lower quality in life. and i knew it..
i was the anxious one who pretended to be outgoing cool guy... fake till you make it? i tried but it drained me so much i had to be honest about it. she likes me less n less the more she knew me, as everyone does. because of me we did less, didnt go out, she gained weight (like i care but she complains about it, for no reason she looks amazing), got itchy/more health issues and anxiety. she says after we broke up all these issues are gone and shes great, so happy and better without me..................
huh....
im so messed up, i messed her up. im cancer. i lowered her quality of life, made it worse.......
knowing that i do this to people... kills me..
also im 25 to whoever asked
 
Who cares about her health issues, she isn't your problem anymore. It isnt your fault, don't blame yourself. If she is better without you is fine, accept it and move on :D
 
opex100 said:
im so messed up, i messed her up. im cancer. i lowered her quality of life, made it worse.......
knowing that i do this to people... kills me..

Well ok... but you got laid didn’t you?

Let’s accentuate the positives here.
 
i care about her health issues because i was the cause of it, to know i made or make people that way makes me hate myself. i wouldnt want someone to affect how i feel. but i suppose..
also no i havent got laid, not since we broke up and that was barley happening at the end of our relationship. so its been almost a year, i think 3 months shy. but still nothing, ive tried dating apps with no luck either, really poked at my self confidence, im not an ugly guy but idk.. i barley go out, i barley talk, and barley interact with strangers, almost never. so i havent really chatted up any ladies. usually my relationships happen because a girl liked me, i never get girls i like. and that barley happens so i usually accept even when i know i dont want to..... ugh
but, i did recently have a match on an app, but again, they liked me first and they're really into me, so much so that its really weird, but nice and im glad. we havent met in person yet but i feel horrible im still in love with someone while another is interested. i know the obvious, move on and get to know this new girl.
but not feeling "right" has stopped me alot, to high of morals to just fresia girls and ditch'em, its not like i could if i wanted, no game super lamo.
 
Opex, you’re over thinking.

I’ve been engaged twice, ended up a ten year relationship that went nowhere and been married and seperated for 5 years.

Go out and have some fun.

If there’s a girl that really likes you on an app or something, then go out and have some fun with her.

I’m sorry love, opex, 50% of marriages end in divorce. I love my wife, because she’s my wife, I made a commitment for life, my love is expressed by honering that commitment and not divorcing her and not committing adultery.

Do want to know something, according to the bible, love has nothing to do with marriage, according to the bible Corinthians 7:3-5 marriage is a sexual union.

If you marry a woman, she never has to love you, there is nothing in the bible that says a wife has to love her husband, absolutely nothing, it never uses those terms. She has to respect you, never does she have to love you. Ephesians 5:33.

So put all these fanciful notions of love away.
 
i dont really believe in marriage any way, or the bible. neither of those things have power over me, the connection and love is far more important than a title and ring. at least legally i think its mumbo jumbo. should be a nice ceremony of love and cheer, dont want to sound like a hater or anything.. but i suppose ill take what i can get.
itd be nice to actually be able to go out and have some fun but i suck at it and end up wishing i never went out, i suck a socializing and having fun.
 
opex100 said:
i care about her health issues because i was the cause of it, to know i made or make people that way makes me hate myself. i wouldnt want someone to affect how i feel. but i suppose..

You were NOT the cause of them.  Did you FORCE her to stay home?  Did you FORCE her to do anything she didn't want to do?  Did you hold a gun to her head?  Did you force feed her? 

You did NOT cause those issues, SHE did.  She is the one that chose to let that happen to her, not you.  The only person that can make you feel bad is yourself.  Whether you or anyone else wants to  believe that or not, it's true.  You decide how you react to someone, no one else.  You decide if circumstances or words or whatever makes you anxious or nervous or depressed or offended.  No one else can make you feel those things.
 
opex100 said:
love is far more important than a title and ring.

But you can’t define love, you haven’t married this woman, you haven’t had children with the woman, you haven’t gone to work to provide for her or your family, you haven’t nursed her through sickness, the relationship appeared to have lasted only a few months and the end she seemed to go off sex.

I’ve been studying the bible for 5 years, i’ve been telling people for years, never marry on the basis of love, marriage in itself is a sexual union.
 
Puddled Duck said:
opex100 said:
love is far more important than a title and ring.

But you can’t define love, you haven’t married this woman, you haven’t had children with the woman, you haven’t gone to work to provide for her or your family, you haven’t nursed her through sickness, the relationship appeared to have lasted only a few months and the end she seemed to go off sex.

I’ve been studying the bible for 5 years, i’ve been telling people for years, never marry on the basis of love, marriage in itself is a sexual union.

You don't have to marry or have children or provide or whatever else to love someone.  You don't CHOOSE to fall in love, it just happens.  That said, not everyone who says they are in love are actually in love, especially if they haven't experienced the real thing before.   

Also, you can study the bible all you want, everyone who reads it interprets it differently.  It has a different meaning for everyone.  And not everyone is religious or follows the same bible.
 
TheRealCallie said:
You don't CHOOSE to fall in love, it just happens. 

But you can’t define love. If I you can’t define it, how can you say anything about it.

It’s a lofty notion that can mean anything to anyone.

Next off we’ll discussing morals, but no one can really define them.

I’m fairly clear on the bible, what it means to everyone else I don’t really care.

If you think you love someone, there are billions, billions, ten of billions that have come your way, only to find this lofty notion of love lying dead in the ground.

I didn’t marry wife because I loved her, never in a million years, I didn’t marry a millionairess because I loved her. It was the day I married her I loved her and honour that love by never divorcing her, never committing adultery and when she could be bothered with me supporting her and I supporting her through terrible circumstances for 3 years (2 year of that a seperation). The day she dies I’m released from that ‘love’.

Never does a woman have to love me, she has to respect me. Never, ever will I ever want my wife to love me. But I’d be happy (as the bible states) with just an ounce of respect.

 
yo puddle duck, you suck, scram
i dont give a fresia about your bible, who cares.
dont marry for love? because a book told you? i know thats how marriage started but its not anymore.
to many people care way to much about it and being married ruins love.
TheRealCallie knows what they're talking about. love is nature, natural and the post powerful energy in the universe.
love happens and you dont need responsibilities to do so, you have no idea what how my past relationships have been,
im not going to sit here and say you dont really love your wife or your past relationships.
just a little flick to my brain to just now..
but thankyou TheRealCallie, you make an excellent point
 
opex100 said:
yo puddle duck, you suck, scram
i dont give a fresia about your bible, who cares.
dont marry for love? because a book told you? i know thats how marriage started but its not anymore.
to many people care way to much about it and being married ruins love.
TheRealCallie knows what they're talking about. love is nature, natural and the post powerful energy in the universe.
love happens and you dont need responsibilities to do so, you have no idea what how my past relationships have been,
im not going to sit here and say you dont really love your wife or your past relationships.
just a little flick to my brain to just now..
but thankyou TheRealCallie, you make an excellent point

There is no love, I simply do not recognise this word love, because I can’t define it.

Love is the most powerful energy in the universe? Really?

About now this woman you love, is probably shagging someone else, then there might be someone else, well then someone else and someone else.

The minute you date another woman, or have sex with another woman, this concept of love you have will be blown apart, for the rest of your entire life, you will never recover, never!. Let it go now!

How long are you prepared to cling onto it for?. For the rest of your entire life?.

If I have to tell people once I have to tell people a million times and I doubt I only know maybe a few people in the world that would agree with me, marriage is a sexual union, nothing more, nothing less. What I tell you has cost me a wife, a £250,000 house, 3 step children and a tap into a £20 million pound turnover company.

The minute you walk down the street and even glance at another woman, every single notion you have about love, gone forever!, never will return!.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top