New guy here, with serious problem

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FiftyCal

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[font=Raleway, Tahoma, Arial,]Hello to the community, I have found this site and decided to register. I was born in december 1990 and I live in Belgrade/Serbia. I am very desperate guy and my mental strength is very low, sometimes I am sick of myself and sometimes I kind of like being miserable. Whatever I start doing I cant endure in it, on first obstacle my will just dissapear, negative thoughts just start to pour in my head. Tried to do kickboxing but quit that because I lost a job in that period, tried to do gym but after 5 months of literally no results I quit, guy (former best friend) who started same day as me and similar supplements, gained 5 kg of pure muscles and it is killing me. Whatever I try to do is not enough no matter how hard I struggle to better myself, I dont have low self esteem, I dont even know what it is. My mother mocked me that I have narrow shoulders like a grann y when I was little kid, and she constantly criticize me, and my father mocked me how I got beaten every time I had fights in school, that was the start of my self "hate". Everybody of my age already have a decent car, nice long relationship or married, I cant even hookup with ugly girl because I think I sound like a wimp or whatever I dont know anymore. I had suicidal thoughts but luckily those thoughts vanished quickly. So I ended up going to work and then straight going home for last 3 years, no dates, no new people, no money, no friends and I think even my parents dont expect me to have kids and get married...what is wrong with me[/font]
 
i used to hate myself too. that was the worst days of my life. you just got to realize there's no winning when you hate yourself. it could lead to worse things. you got to love and appreciate yourself man. what is the root of your self hatred?
 
Sounds like you have pretty low self esteem. If you don't like quitting what you start, why let yourself? See it through, keep going, force yourself to keep going. It's probably the esteem issues and depression that are stopping you.

Welcome to the forum. :)
 

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