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Fizkultprivet

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Hello Folks!

I will try to be as honest in this post as I can.. and I am sorry for the wall of text.

I am 29, college educated, have a pretty good job in a pretty good career field, live on my own, can support myself, got a decent head on my shoulders (at least I think so). Embarrassing, but went on a date once, never had a girlfriend, yet.

And I have some issues..

I cannot relate to people, cannot seem to form any long term relationship with them. I am good at first impressions, can interview like a champ, have no issue doing presentations or talking about work or business related stuff, love to present to large groups, just... People do not seem to open up to me.

I have very few, if any, friends.. Well, I lied, I guess you could say I have one 'best' friend, to whom I do talk on a regular basis, the only person still talking to me from college. 

My activity after work at this point is going home to an empty apartment, cook/take out dinner, watch a show or two, play a game or two, and sleep. Rinse, repeat. Folks at work invite each other to go out to have a drink after work, hold parties amongst themselves on weekends, and I am just the [job title] guy, that they see at work everyday, who is the last to know about everything. I would love to chalk it off to me being introverted and leave it at that (I do feel more comfortable on my own), but it interferes with my work, and in the career field (which I do enjoy), forming those long term connections are essential. I am basically laming myself in one leg.. Got knowledge, got skills, just not social ones. 

I tried to be more open, to no result. I tried to be understanding. To no result. 

The way I see it, it is almost like a have a wall around me, that repels people. It is not 'toxic' environment at the place of employment, it was like that at every job I ever held.. They get good first impression, and then it cools off, and disappears. I am not in any way, shape, or form, blame them for it. If I were better, they would be better toward me. Everything that happens, happens for a reason, and I just cannot seem to find out the reason why, or how to break through that wall. 

To add to above, I like to go hiking, and met up with pretty good small group this way, with whom I actually was able to meet outside of work, and still, sometimes text, but then everyone moved away to different cities/states, and now I am back to square one again.. So there had to have been something I have done right, but I still do not know what..

Just wanted to see if there is anyone out there in a similar situation: Decent job, not in particularly dire straights, just alone and wondering how can they break through and form half decent relationship with co-workers, and have someone to come home to, and something to do after work.. Or someone who was in a similar situation, but broke out.

Thank you for your understanding and time!
 
I’m not in a similar situation where I live alone etc so cant answer some of your questions but may I suggest meetup.com (if you haven’t heard about it before).
I was thirty when I had my first boyfriend (through online dating). It does happen, You just have to keep on looking.
(Hopefully someone will have answers to your questions)
 
If it's doable, a group therapy experience might give you some useful feedback on how you behave around people......what's off putting and what's an asset. When the same members see each other regularly they get to know one another pretty well.
A regular MD doctor might be a good person to refer you to an available therapeutic practice that conducts group sessions.
It's just a thought. I did it in college and it was a real eye opener to me what kind of impressions I was making and didn't know it.
 
Bit late to the party, but in same boat as of recently: self-sufficient professional, transferred for work to be closer to family (now only 2.5 hours away instead of 7+ hours away), but as a result, I left behind treasured friends, now starting from square one (socially). It's scary and sometimes demoralizing.
 

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