Happily Married Yet Lonely

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Welcome to the forum and rest assured you're not on your own in lonely matrimonial circumstances.

I do the working in our family, but suffer a seemingly similar lack of emotional connection (and in my case, the intimacy that goes along with it). Perhaps I just married the wrong person? Perhaps you're with the wrong person too?
But I'm not entirely sure I'd do anything about changing my circumstances. Maybe I just need a fling to get it all out of my system? Maybe I should just plod along. But the clock is ticking on life, and one gets only one shot at it. Good that your partner is encouraging you to get emotionally connected to other people though (platonic, I assume)

Anyway, feel free to drop me a note if you would like to chat!

P
 
Hula_Guy said:
PaulE said:
Welcome to the forum and rest assured you're not on your own in lonely matrimonial circumstances.

I do the working in our family, but suffer a seemingly similar lack of emotional connection (and in my case, the intimacy that goes along with it).  Perhaps I just married the wrong person?  Perhaps you're with the wrong person too?  
But I'm not entirely sure I'd do anything about changing my circumstances.  Maybe I just need a fling to get it all out of my system? Maybe I should just plod along.  But the clock is ticking on life, and one gets only one shot at it.  Good that your partner is encouraging you to get emotionally connected to other people though (platonic, I assume)

Anyway, feel free to drop me a note if you would like to chat!

P

Thanks for the response, Paul. I'd like to think that I am with the right person, though I am getting discouraged about this. The closest thing to a fling for me would be to just have a close friend with emotional intimacy, and a hug is ok too, but I wouldn't do anything behind my spouses back, and she supports this type of friendship for me. We still have some physical intimacy, though this doesn't really satisfy my relationship with her. I feel much more whole when we do things together, but that hardly ever happens any more. The fling is when we are intimate and I pretend that our relationship is different than what we have. I guess you can say I'm faking it then.
My goodness! Where do I start? What kind of Beta male stays at home with a kid while his wife works, then complains about being "lonely"? I'm not kidding. I had to scroll back to make sure the post I was reading was from a man. If she appears distant and unconnected maybe she's longing for a real man. She's not a work-a-holic. She's avoiding YOU. If you were being a man, work would be the last thing on her mind, but she's compensating. 
You whining about you can't find friends. This is because all the real men are at work while you are home all day. Then when real men get home they don't wanna hang with you. They are tired from working all day or are too busy being a man to their wives at night. You probably look like a creepy old man lurking around all day long with the other stay at home mothers. You are out of your element.
Hey, if you wanna be a giggalo I'm not judging. If your wife tolerates that, it's on her. But enjoy it if that's what you wanna be. Wait a minute......why isn't an 8 year old in school? Anyway, I think you have a lot of nerve. If you had a job like a real man, you wouldn't have time to be reaseaching community groups, complaining to your wife or writing on blogs in the middle of the day. I work overnight and am just waking up. Maybe you need someone like another man to tell you these things because it seems like you are not being told of how ridiculous you appear and sound.
 
royalewithcheese said:
Hula_Guy said:
PaulE said:
Welcome to the forum and rest assured you're not on your own in lonely matrimonial circumstances.

I do the working in our family, but suffer a seemingly similar lack of emotional connection (and in my case, the intimacy that goes along with it).  Perhaps I just married the wrong person?  Perhaps you're with the wrong person too?  
But I'm not entirely sure I'd do anything about changing my circumstances.  Maybe I just need a fling to get it all out of my system? Maybe I should just plod along.  But the clock is ticking on life, and one gets only one shot at it.  Good that your partner is encouraging you to get emotionally connected to other people though (platonic, I assume)

Anyway, feel free to drop me a note if you would like to chat!

P

Thanks for the response, Paul. I'd like to think that I am with the right person, though I am getting discouraged about this. The closest thing to a fling for me would be to just have a close friend with emotional intimacy, and a hug is ok too, but I wouldn't do anything behind my spouses back, and she supports this type of friendship for me. We still have some physical intimacy, though this doesn't really satisfy my relationship with her. I feel much more whole when we do things together, but that hardly ever happens any more. The fling is when we are intimate and I pretend that our relationship is different than what we have. I guess you can say I'm faking it then.
My goodness! Where do I start? What kind of Beta male stays at home with a kid while his wife works, then complains about being "lonely"? I'm not kidding. I had to scroll back to make sure the post I was reading was from a man. If she appears distant and unconnected maybe she's longing for a real man. She's not a work-a-holic. She's avoiding YOU. If you were being a man, work would be the last thing on her mind, but she's compensating. 
You whining about you can't find friends. This is because all the real men are at work while you are home all day. Then when real men get home they don't wanna hang with you. They are tired from working all day or are too busy being a man to their wives at night. You probably look like a creepy old man lurking around all day long with the other stay at home mothers. You are out of your element.
Hey, if you wanna be a giggalo I'm not judging. If your wife tolerates that, it's on her. But enjoy it if that's what you wanna be. Wait a minute......why isn't an 8 year old in school? Anyway, I think you have a lot of nerve. If you had a job like a real man, you wouldn't have time to be reaseaching community groups, complaining to your wife or writing on blogs in the middle of the day. I work overnight and am just waking up. Maybe you need someone like another man to tell you these things because it seems like you are not being told of how ridiculous you appear and sound.

This is not allowed here, you do not belittle people here for the choices they make. There are a lot of men who stay home and take care of the children while the wife works, REAL MEN who do not pander to an antiquated sense of dominance over another sex. You really need to learn what being a real man is because your definition of one is erroneously flawed.
 
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