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Im lost help
Hi everyone,  i have joined this forum hoping for a listening ear and some advices...

I'm 28 yo and I'm a veterinarian, not currently on work. In fact , the past two years i had a non pleasant internship experience . That turned down my confidence , my self-esteem.  Now , I'm losing my friends and "maybe" I'm breaking up with my boyfriend. 

Previously,  I have been so energetic, enthusiastic and so unstoppable...Currently I realized that I've become so lifeless ,unpassionate and so vulnerable...exactly the opposite ! It's clear that this unpleasant change up  is the result of small , unremarkable,  customary habits ! Who I am today and how happy and fulfilled I am is definitely the result of my thoughts and actions from yesterday !! But how did I get here?  No idea , I wasn't aware.

I'm going through days where I feel like that I'm  not really living, but merely existing. I feel so empty and lost on the inside. Everyday I stay up late at night, mulling over things that I know won't get me anywhere rewarding.  Every single night I cry and I ask myself  the same question,  what am I doing to myself  ?! I know something is wrong. I want to change my situation for the better , but I just feel so emotionally charged and tired that I bearley can do something...if I was in the shoes of somebody else I would definitely say that those are just excuses... Absolutely right, I'm  making excuses.  

I don't know what to do and from where to start ...please help 😔
Yesterday doesn't matter. It's over, so stop looking back. Forward is the direction you want, so what do you want for the future and how can you get that? No need to answer me, that's a question for yourself.

Now, why are you looking friends? Are you not hanging out with them? Not talking to them? There are ways to change that too. To be blunt, suck it up and do things, even if you don't feel like doing them. Sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself is not going to do anything good for you. Go out, try to have a good time, find something that will make you be passionate again. Volunteer, join a club, find a new hobby, exercise, take walks, anything to get yourself out there and start living again. Small steps at first, if you need to, but do something to get yourself out of your funk.
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The first thing you mention is the internship. Is it over? Are you going into that field? Work environments can be really crappy and draining. You can be the greatest worker and still not be successful. People are weird. Supervisors can be all over the place. You probably don't feel this way, but you are young enough to change your career if this is not what you want to do. If it is what you want to do don't get discouraged by a work environment you may not have fit in with.

Second what you can to keep your friends. It's really difficult to make new friends as you age. I can relate how you feel empty and everything. Unfortunately people sense that and it can push people away which makes your loneliness, emptiness, etc. worse. Find something that you can do that will get you in a better mood, kind of like a brainhack. I recommend Weird Al. I just can't be sad after listening to him.

Guys come and go. If that isn't working, it isn't working. Don't date someone who's not making you happy just so you're not alone. It's just not worth it in the long run.

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