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Lonely and rejected

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I'm lonely not so much to be with people as I have a need to feel valued. I'm a caregiver type and spent my whole life caring for others before I took care of me . I mean to the point I figuratively set myself on fire to keep others warm. To the point I have lost pretty much anything and anyone I cared about. I am finding that I am being rejected by just about everyone I loved. Mainly family but many friends have walked away from me .For about 10 years or longer really , I have lost people I cared about. Today I have no friends . I used to be friendly and had alot of friends. Life and time have robbed me of my health , my 30 year marriage , my  sons and grandchildren . Not to death , merely to being rejected. As a result I find myself becoming more isolated and alone. I'm polite to others but fear getting rejected so I reject them first. It's a horrible way to live. I don't know why I am being abandoned . I hurt inside and feel so unwanted and damaged in some way. I'm not suicidal but I want to understand why I'm so unworthy of love in the last year's of my life.
 
Hi, I'm sorry you are in such a lonely place. Why do you feel that family and friends are walking away from you? Do you spend time with your sons and grandchildren? Could you invite them over for an informal meal or ask if they'd like to meet? You are very much worthy of love! You may just need to take the initiative to be with others as they may not realize how unwanted you feel. Please reach out. So glad you are here!
 
Lonely and rejected said:
I'm lonely not so much to be with people as I have a need to feel valued. I'm a caregiver type and spent my whole life caring for others before I took care of me . I mean to the point I figuratively set myself on fire to keep others warm. To the point I have lost pretty much anything and anyone I cared about. I am finding that I am being rejected by just about everyone I loved. Mainly family but many friends have walked away from me .For about 10 years or longer really , I have lost people I cared about. Today I have no friends . I used to be friendly and had alot of friends. Life and time have robbed me of my health , my 30 year marriage , my  sons and grandchildren . Not to death , merely to being rejected. As a result I find myself becoming more isolated and alone. I'm polite to others but fear getting rejected so I reject them first. It's a horrible way to live. I don't know why I am being abandoned . I hurt inside and feel so unwanted and damaged in some way. I'm not suicidal but I want to understand why I'm so unworthy of love in the last year's of my life.

As I grow older, I've noticed that people are just not as interested in making the effort to nurture relationships as much as they did when they were younger.  Or maybe it's just how people are now. Technology has wiped out so many social skills people used to have. Everything is at your finger tips so why put in the time? I feel like that's our modern society's attitude in general. I am a caregiver of sorts too, I just give and give an give...usually don't need much in return, but sometimes I see how living my life with my heart is damaging because you open yourself up to people who will use you, or take you for granted. Rejection stings terribly, I can't handle it, I'm sorry you feel that way.
 
Miriam1966 said:
Lonely and rejected said:
I'm lonely not so much to be with people as I have a need to feel valued. I'm a caregiver type and spent my whole life caring for others before I took care of me . I mean to the point I figuratively set myself on fire to keep others warm. To the point I have lost pretty much anything and anyone I cared about. I am finding that I am being rejected by just about everyone I loved. Mainly family but many friends have walked away from me .For about 10 years or longer really , I have lost people I cared about. Today I have no friends . I used to be friendly and had alot of friends. Life and time have robbed me of my health , my 30 year marriage , my  sons and grandchildren . Not to death , merely to being rejected. As a result I find myself becoming more isolated and alone. I'm polite to others but fear getting rejected so I reject them first. It's a horrible way to live. I don't know why I am being abandoned . I hurt inside and feel so unwanted and damaged in some way. I'm not suicidal but I want to understand why I'm so unworthy of love in the last year's of my life.

As I grow older, I've noticed that people are just not as interested in making the effort to nurture relationships as much as they did when they were younger.  Or maybe it's just how people are now. Technology has wiped out so many social skills people used to have. Everything is at your finger tips so why put in the time? I feel like that's our modern society's attitude in general. I am a caregiver of sorts too, I just give and give an give...usually don't need much in return, but sometimes I see how living my life with my heart is damaging because you open yourself up to people who will use you, or take you for granted. Rejection stings terribly, I can't handle it, I'm sorry you feel that way.

So sorry you feel alone friend.  Im so alone now is tearing me apart please feel free to talk
 
chinaandback said:
Hi, I'm sorry you are in such a lonely place. Why do you feel that family and friends are walking away from you? Do you spend time with your sons and grandchildren? Could you invite them over for an informal meal or ask if they'd like to meet? You are very much worthy of love! You may just need to take the initiative to be with others as they may not realize how unwanted you feel. Please reach out. So glad you are here!
Thank you for your response. I was beginning to feel rejected here when no one was responding. Lol.  I guess I just let some relationships slip away from lack of nurturing , some just flat out rejected me. I lost my sons to thier being incarcerated . My husband decided he'd had enough and left after 30 years. My sons exes cut me off from some of my grandchildren when the parents broke up and some grandchildren I have been raising since infancy and so I didn't have the time or energy to stay connected. My health has deteroriated from long-term constant stress . I was on life support two years ago due to a massive heart infection and my four brothers came to see me finally. After I recovered somewhat and after thier offers of support and help , I gave up my home and moved to where they live. Once there they didn't come see me at all , even during a weeklong hospital stay I had there , and the offers of help vanished. I moved back to my home state and after a year they haven't even called to see how I am. I was completely alone with the grandkids and had to stay in a motel for six months until I saved to get us another house.  I have two daughters who help occassionaly but they have thier own lives .I feel alone in this world. The only thing that keeps me going are the five grandkids I'm raising. They don't have anyone else either. It's sad really.
 
Lonely and rejected said:
chinaandback said:
Hi, I'm sorry you are in such a lonely place. Why do you feel that family and friends are walking away from you? Do you spend time with your sons and grandchildren? Could you invite them over for an informal meal or ask if they'd like to meet? You are very much worthy of love! You may just need to take the initiative to be with others as they may not realize how unwanted you feel. Please reach out. So glad you are here!
Thank you for your response. I was beginning to feel rejected here when no one was responding. Lol.  I guess I just let some relationships slip away from lack of nurturing , some just flat out rejected me. I lost my sons to thier being incarcerated . My husband decided he'd had enough and left after 30 years. My sons exes cut me off from some of my grandchildren when the parents broke up and some grandchildren I have been raising since infancy and so I didn't have the time or energy to stay connected. My health has deteroriated from long-term constant stress . I was on life support two years ago due to a massive heart infection and my four brothers came to see me finally. After I recovered somewhat and after thier offers of support and help , I gave up my home and moved to where they live. Once there they didn't come see me at all , even during a weeklong hospital stay I had there , and the offers of help vanished. I moved back to my home state and after a year they haven't even called to see how I am. I was completely alone with the grandkids and had to stay in a motel for six months until I saved to get us another house.  I have two daughters who help occassionaly but they have thier own lives .I feel alone in this world. The only thing that keeps me going are the five grandkids I'm raising. They don't have anyone else either. It's sad really.


Lonely and rejected said:
chinaandback said:
Hi, I'm sorry you are in such a lonely place. Why do you feel that family and friends are walking away from you? Do you spend time with your sons and grandchildren? Could you invite them over for an informal meal or ask if they'd like to meet? You are very much worthy of love! You may just need to take the initiative to be with others as they may not realize how unwanted you feel. Please reach out. So glad you are here!
Thank you for your response. I was beginning to feel rejected here when no one was responding. Lol.  I guess I just let some relationships slip away from lack of nurturing , some just flat out rejected me. I lost my sons to thier being incarcerated . My husband decided he'd had enough and left after 30 years. My sons exes cut me off from some of my grandchildren when the parents broke up and some grandchildren I have been raising since infancy and so I didn't have the time or energy to stay connected. My health has deteroriated from long-term constant stress . I was on life support two years ago due to a massive heart infection and my four brothers came to see me finally. After I recovered somewhat and after thier offers of support and help , I gave up my home and moved to where they live. Once there they didn't come see me at all , even during a weeklong hospital stay I had there , and the offers of help vanished. I moved back to my home state and after a year they haven't even called to see how I am. I was completely alone with the grandkids and had to stay in a motel for six months until I saved to get us another house.  I have two daughters who help occassionaly but they have thier own lives .I feel alone in this world. The only thing that keeps me going are the five grandkids I'm raising. They don't have anyone else either. It's sad really.

How are you doing? Have you thought about attending a church or looking for groups of people that you have common interests with that you can connect with people? My church has an "online" campus and it's a great way to begin to connect with others. Some people who come into the building to attend start out this way. Some who are home-bound have reported that they really enjoy being able to do "church" and connect with others this way. Do you have something like that in your area? If you are interested in my church's website, let me know.  ;) Thinking of you.
 
chinaandback said:
Lonely and rejected said:
chinaandback said:
Hi, I'm sorry you are in such a lonely place. Why do you feel that family and friends are walking away from you? Do you spend time with your sons and grandchildren? Could you invite them over for an informal meal or ask if they'd like to meet? You are very much worthy of love! You may just need to take the initiative to be with others as they may not realize how unwanted you feel. Please reach out. So glad you are here!
Thank you for your response. I was beginning to feel rejected here when no one was responding. Lol.  I guess I just let some relationships slip away from lack of nurturing , some just flat out rejected me. I lost my sons to thier being incarcerated . My husband decided he'd had enough and left after 30 years. My sons exes cut me off from some of my grandchildren when the parents broke up and some grandchildren I have been raising since infancy and so I didn't have the time or energy to stay connected. My health has deteroriated from long-term constant stress . I was on life support two years ago due to a massive heart infection and my four brothers came to see me finally. After I recovered somewhat and after thier offers of support and help , I gave up my home and moved to where they live. Once there they didn't come see me at all , even during a weeklong hospital stay I had there , and the offers of help vanished. I moved back to my home state and after a year they haven't even called to see how I am. I was completely alone with the grandkids and had to stay in a motel for six months until I saved to get us another house.  I have two daughters who help occassionaly but they have thier own lives .I feel alone in this world. The only thing that keeps me going are the five grandkids I'm raising. They don't have anyone else either. It's sad really.


Lonely and rejected said:
chinaandback said:
Hi, I'm sorry you are in such a lonely place. Why do you feel that family and friends are walking away from you? Do you spend time with your sons and grandchildren? Could you invite them over for an informal meal or ask if they'd like to meet? You are very much worthy of love! You may just need to take the initiative to be with others as they may not realize how unwanted you feel. Please reach out. So glad you are here!
Thank you for your response. I was beginning to feel rejected here when no one was responding. Lol.  I guess I just let some relationships slip away from lack of nurturing , some just flat out rejected me. I lost my sons to thier being incarcerated . My husband decided he'd had enough and left after 30 years. My sons exes cut me off from some of my grandchildren when the parents broke up and some grandchildren I have been raising since infancy and so I didn't have the time or energy to stay connected. My health has deteroriated from long-term constant stress . I was on life support two years ago due to a massive heart infection and my four brothers came to see me finally. After I recovered somewhat and after thier offers of support and help , I gave up my home and moved to where they live. Once there they didn't come see me at all , even during a weeklong hospital stay I had there , and the offers of help vanished. I moved back to my home state and after a year they haven't even called to see how I am. I was completely alone with the grandkids and had to stay in a motel for six months until I saved to get us another house.  I have two daughters who help occassionaly but they have thier own lives .I feel alone in this world. The only thing that keeps me going are the five grandkids I'm raising. They don't have anyone else either. It's sad really.

How are you doing? Have you thought about attending a church or looking for groups of people that you have common interests with that you can connect with people? My church has an "online" campus and it's a great way to begin to connect with others. Some people who come into the building to attend start out this way. Some who are home-bound have reported that they really enjoy being able to do "church" and connect with others this way. Do you have something like that in your area? If you are interested in my church's website, let me know.  ;) Thinking of you.


No I had not heard of an online church. What a great idea. And would be convenient because I do not have transportation right now , which also hampers my ability to get out and socialize. I have no friends to ride share with either so I'm stuck. I use a taxi for personal errands. Yes I'd like the website .And thank you for thinking of me..
 
Lonely and rejected said:
I'm lonely not so much to be with people as I have a need to feel valued. I'm a caregiver type and spent my whole life caring for others before I took care of me . I mean to the point I figuratively set myself on fire to keep others warm. To the point I have lost pretty much anything and anyone I cared about. I am finding that I am being rejected by just about everyone I loved. Mainly family but many friends have walked away from me .For about 10 years or longer really , I have lost people I cared about. Today I have no friends . I used to be friendly and had alot of friends. Life and time have robbed me of my health , my 30 year marriage , my  sons and grandchildren . Not to death , merely to being rejected. As a result I find myself becoming more isolated and alone. I'm polite to others but fear getting rejected so I reject them first. It's a horrible way to live. I don't know why I am being abandoned . I hurt inside and feel so unwanted and damaged in some way. I'm not suicidal but I want to understand why I'm so unworthy of love in the last year's of my life.

Hi there, 
I don't know if the internet will do it for you, but I sure hope it will, and may be we can be friends too. Am not sure if I have much to offer of myself to help you to feel better. Am in need of friendship just like you are so maybe we could chat with each others and others in the forum, seems like there are really nice people here, an maybe you could meet some if they are close to you and its safe to do so. I think we have to accept that sometimes life happens and we need to try to keep moving. My heart goes out to you. Lets just keep walking and hope for the best. :) :)
 

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