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Tess's life
To be able to understand this story and critically comment you will have to understand the background of the woman and where she was brought up.
Her family consisted of her mother, father herself and two siblings. She was the oldest and naughtiest of her siblings. When she was young she used to get into trouble with her siblings and parents. Her parents particularly her father used to call her ‘stupid’, ‘bully’ and ‘idiot’.  She used to feel frustrated whenever her parents used to judge her negatively irrespective of her side of the story. Tess found it difficult to control her emotions so when she felt frustrated she used to throw objects and/ or find a corner within her room and stay crying or hitting herself feeling hopeless. This was ‘supposed’ to be her home, a place for her to feel secure for me it seems more like nightmare but anyways lets’ continue.
As time passed Tess got used to being described continuously by the same pessimistic adjectives and tried her best to seek comfort elsewhere. When possible she tried to stay away from her family when not at home. However, the way they treated her although it did not affect her directly it still affected her character she did not have confidence within herself and felt indecisive on everything. Tess continuously tried to show her parents her best side in order to try to change her parent’s mentality. Her decisions were mainly based on changing her parents mind rather than on her future. Little did she know at that time that it is difficult to shift ones’ mentality. Tess relationship with her mother was like hell. Whenever Tess tried to confine with her mother used to blame her for everything, and did not keep the matters confidential. The best relationships Tess had were with her brother and aunt since these were the two people who used to try and understand her. Sometimes her mother seemed to be jealous about the positive relationship Tess and her aunt had. Her mother used to tell her ‘you are just like your aunt, you should go with her’ (in a negative way).
               Tess continued growing up within the same environment. As she grew older she began to close up within her own bubble. When she was at university her parents taught she was suffering from anorexia. They were continuously pushing her to eat food, reduce her fitness regime and to go and seek a doctor’s advice. After giving her parents a tough time Tess agreed to go to a psychologist in order to assure to her parents that there was nothing wrong with her and that her weight was normal. The psychologist confirmed that she was not suffering from anorexia or any other disorder. Still her parents continued pushing her. After a while she fell under a depression and wanted to give everything up. She started reflecting by asking herself rhetorical questions such as ‘am I not fat enough for you? Do you want me to eat more to get fatter?’ So Tess started eating junk food and sweets in order to get fat. After gaining weight Tess started hating her body and wanted to lose weight.  This was not easy as she thought it would be. Now that she is older most of the time she ends up eating food instead of going to cry within a corner by herself and ends up regretting it afterwards.
Presently the only communication she started having with her parents were only related to the academic aspect of her life.  As time passed she started distancing herself slowly from her sister. After my sister had shared her experience about being bullied in secondary school they started pointing fingers at Tess. While Tess similar to her parents had no clue what her sister was passing through at that period since she never used to speak to her. Till the present day her parents still blame her for the bullying. In my opinion her parents should blame themselves if they taught Tess was the main culprit of bullying. Presently they are also using negative adjectives to describe her brother, John who has a multiple disability. I admire her brother cause unlike Tess who locked herself in a shell and ignored her situation her brother gave his parents what they wanted a bully. Whenever they called him a bully or felt like he was being mistreated he used to tell them ‘I am a bully’ and/ or act like one. Tess parents blame her for teaching him such information but I think it’s a chain reaction which cannot be stopped unless there is admittance from the culprit and strategies to reduce such action are constructed and adopted. As time passed Tess started feeling closer to her brother than any of the other family member. Sometimes she used to feel sorry for what he would be passing through. Whenever she saw her parents calling him names she used to tell them it’s not worthy and that this will have repercussions. However, this their attitude towards correcting his actions never changed. Tess seeks his attention and he seeks her most likely because they can both understand what they are going through.
I cannot say that the relationship with her sister is the same like that of her brother. On the contrary her relationship with her sister is very poor and barely there. As years passed it started fading away. She felt jealous of her sister since her parents never passed judgments on her, gave her punishments, whatever she used to do was considered as right, she never got pushed to any particular direction and she was continuously supported by her parents. According to Tess her family had no uniform ground rules which applied to everyone within the family.  Whenever she looks at her sister she reminds herself of how she was and is mistreated by her own family. At certain points of her life Tess used to stay reflecting on her own asking rhetorical questions such as`` ‘Why did I have to have a sister? Couldn’t I just have a single brother? Why couldn’t I just have an older brother just to protect me from my own family?’ Although she asked those questions to herself she already knew the answer deep inside from her biology classes. It was just natural selection.
Tess believes that when you are within a family one should feel safe and comfort.  Whenever she is with her family she does not feel at home. For her family just serves for her accommodation needs. For company and support she feels that she has to go elsewhere.
I'm confused. Are YOU Tess?
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[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
(10-11-2018, 11:25 PM)TheRealCallie Wrote: I'm confused.  Are YOU Tess?
yes  Sad
Well I can't say I relate to tess's struggles. I was more of my family's emotional caretaker. Now I am very emotionally distant from them.

Anyway, I read the whole thing and have a couple of questions:

-Tess is only described through the eyes of others, what kind of person is she really? Or, better yet, what kind of person does she think she is?

-Growing up, did Tess have any friends\confidants outside her family?

Oh and send Tess a hug from me Wink
Thank you for sharing your story. I wish things were different for you. It’s sad that the effects of childhood taints your soul like this but I’m just the same. We all are products of our upbringing.

A nice quote with some hope. 😘

“We are all the products and victims of our own upbringing, until we reflect, refuse, and rebel.”

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