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Bender's Journal: Part 2
Quick review of last night...

My last night out in hometown before going back. Met up with a few of the other guys.

We were on the dancefloor and one of the other guys approached a group of three girls who were probably the most attractive around there at the time. He was talking to them for a bit and then I saw him point over to me so I took my cue to enter the interaction.

One of the girls had blonde hair, incredible body, she looked like a pornstar. Definitely not my type of girl but very sexy nonetheless. I tried talking to her. Said something and she gave  me a big hug. It went reasonably well but was difficult on the loud dancefloor. And I was a bit afraid to escalate with the pornstar looking girl.

When I was talking to one of the other girls, I made a pretty sexual joke to her which I don't normally do but I was confident I could get away with it with these girls. And she thought it was pretty funny.

Me and the other guy ended up ejecting but I ended up talking to those girls later in the night.

Saw a girl near the bar who looked at me. Took my chance to approach her. Started out pretty well. We got a drink together and she seemed to want me there. Then she went with her friends back to the dancefloor and I went with her. 

She was part of a fairly large group, which made it difficult to do anything in front of them. I was hoping the other guys would come along and talk to the others in the group to help me out but they didn't. I ended up leaving because it felt like it wasn't going to go anywhere. I probably needed to isolate her from her group earlier for anything to happen. 

We went downstairs to another dancefloor and two girls came over very close to me. I immediately thought back to my NYE journal where I said that I have to assume girls are interested in me if they dance really close to me. 

The more attractive of the two girls was getting very close to me. But I was afraid to approach. It was like I was waiting for her to approach me...which is almost never going to happen.

Eventually her and her friend left and I was so furious with myself for not approaching her while she was right in front of me. But then 10 minutes later, she and her friend were back. I was close to approaching her and then one of the other guys went in and talked to her.

Looked like it didn't go very well, she seemed to reject him pretty quickly and he left. But the two girls stayed there near us so after a few minutes I thought I'd have a go. 

She instantly responded a lot better to me than my wingman. Which was a little confidence boost because he's a decent looking guy himself.

Talked to her for a few minutes, had her smiling and laughing. But then I just hit a standstill and didn't know what to do next. This is the problem with dance floors. It's so hard to talk because of the loud music, then even if you can talk, it feels weird having a discussion on the dancefloor. Need to figure out a better dance floor game plan. 

Towards the end of the night I hadn't done as many approaches as I was hoping to and told myself to do two more before leaving. I saw a blonde girl, probably a bit older than me look at me near the bar. Started talking to her and once again it started well but then fizzled out after a few minutes. I did enough to probably get her number but I didn't see the point when I'd be leaving the next day.

I was sitting with my other wingman and saw the group of girls from the first interaction of the night. I told him I'd spoken to them earlier in the night and he said 'let's go talk to them again,' and we did.

This was in a much quieter spot than I'd spoken to them earlier in the night so it was much easier to talk to them. All three were fairly attractive but I really wanted to talk to the pornstar looking girl.

I was talking to one of the others for a while and then got a chance to talk to pornstar looking girl. Did a good job of getting the conversation onto sexual topics with both this girl and the other one I was talking to.

The pornstar girl soon said she was going home and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek before she left. She said she was getting an uber home. Maybe I could've asked where she lives and offered to drive her back if she was in my direction. Holy wow she was very sexy. But definitely not the type of girl you would want to take home to your parents lol. It was still good that I has a decent interaction with a girl like that.
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(01-05-2020, 05:49 PM)bender22 Wrote: Quick review of last night...

My last night out in hometown before going back. Met up with a few of the other guys.

We were on the dancefloor and one of the other guys approached a group of three girls who were probably the most attractive around there at the time. He was talking to them for a bit and then I saw him point over to me so I took my cue to enter the interaction.

One of the girls had blonde hair, incredible body, she looked like a pornstar. Definitely not my type of girl but very sexy nonetheless. I tried talking to her. Said something and she gave  me a big hug. It went reasonably well but was difficult on the loud dancefloor. And I was a bit afraid to escalate with the pornstar looking girl.

When I was talking to one of the other girls, I made a pretty sexual joke to her which I don't normally do but I was confident I could get away with it with these girls. And she thought it was pretty funny.

Me and the other guy ended up ejecting but I ended up talking to those girls later in the night.

Saw a girl near the bar who looked at me. Took my chance to approach her. Started out pretty well. We got a drink together and she seemed to want me there. Then she went with her friends back to the dancefloor and I went with her. 

She was part of a fairly large group, which made it difficult to do anything in front of them. I was hoping the other guys would come along and talk to the others in the group to help me out but they didn't. I ended up leaving because it felt like it wasn't going to go anywhere. I probably needed to isolate her from her group earlier for anything to happen. 

We went downstairs to another dancefloor and two girls came over very close to me. I immediately thought back to my NYE journal where I said that I have to assume girls are interested in me if they dance really close to me. 

The more attractive of the two girls was getting very close to me. But I was afraid to approach. It was like I was waiting for her to approach me...which is almost never going to happen.

Eventually her and her friend left and I was so furious with myself for not approaching her while she was right in front of me. But then 10 minutes later, she and her friend were back. I was close to approaching her and then one of the other guys went in and talked to her.

Looked like it didn't go very well, she seemed to reject him pretty quickly and he left. But the two girls stayed there near us so after a few minutes I thought I'd have a go. 

She instantly responded a lot better to me than my wingman. Which was a little confidence boost because he's a decent looking guy himself.

Talked to her for a few minutes, had her smiling and laughing. But then I just hit a standstill and didn't know what to do next. This is the problem with dance floors. It's so hard to talk because of the loud music, then even if you can talk, it feels weird having a discussion on the dancefloor. Need to figure out a better dance floor game plan. 

Towards the end of the night I hadn't done as many approaches as I was hoping to and told myself to do two more before leaving. I saw a blonde girl, probably a bit older than me look at me near the bar. Started talking to her and once again it started well but then fizzled out after a few minutes. I did enough to probably get her number but I didn't see the point when I'd be leaving the next day.

I was sitting with my other wingman and saw the group of girls from the first interaction of the night. I told him I'd spoken to them earlier in the night and he said 'let's go talk to them again,' and we did.

This was in a much quieter spot than I'd spoken to them earlier in the night so it was much easier to talk to them. All three were fairly attractive but I really wanted to talk to the pornstar looking girl.

I was talking to one of the others for a while and then got a chance to talk to pornstar looking girl. Did a good job of getting the conversation onto sexual topics with both this girl and the other one I was talking to.

The pornstar girl soon said she was going home and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek before she left. She said she was getting an uber home. Maybe I could've asked where she lives and offered to drive her back if she was in my direction. Holy wow she was very sexy. But definitely not the type of girl you would want to take home to your parents lol. It was still good that I has a decent interaction with a girl like that.

Hi, Bender! I've been following your posts recently and I can only congratulate on the amazing work you did on yourself. You're truly an inspiration for everyone on this forum.

So, you said you "did a good job of getting the conversation onto sexual topics". Well, I do a few approaches myself everytime I go out and that part is always a problem to me. I wonder if you could DM me some advice on the subject.

Thank you in advance, and keep up with the good work!
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(01-05-2020, 11:45 PM)Sker01 Wrote: Hi, Bender! I've been following your posts recently and I can only congratulate on the amazing work you did on yourself. You're truly an inspiration for everyone on this forum.

So, you said you "did a good job of getting the conversation onto sexual topics". Well, I do a few approaches myself everytime I go out and that part is always a problem to me. I wonder if you could DM me some advice on the subject.

Thank you in advance, and keep up with the good work!

Thanks Sker01, I'll send you a DM.
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Yesterday morning I went to a seminar.. a self development type of event.

I got into the room, grabbed a seat, spoke to the guy sitting next to me. And then a few minutes in, I spotted a girl two rows in front of me, who instantly grabbed my attention.

All I could see was the back of her head, side of her face and the clothes she was wearing. From that angle, she looked like my type of girl and I liked how she was dressed.

Eventually, the speaker at the event had everyone stand up. I looked over and got to see her face. She looked in my direction and we made eye contact for a second. She looked good from the front as well.

As the event went on, I kept looking in her direction, to see how she was responding to what the speaker was saying. Just trying to get any clues into her personality. 

I decided I had to talk to her. It was a full day event and there were going to breaks so I would get opportunities. I was even excited to talk to her and find out more about her. 

A few hours in, the speaker announced we would break for 20 minutes for morning tea. 

Here was my opportunity...But as soon as I got up to walk out of the room, I started to hesitate. I thought 'well there will be more breaks throughout the day, I'll have more chances to talk to her.'

She was ahead of me and I walked not far behind her on the way out. But she was with an older couple. They could've been her parents or more likely she just met them there.

She went down towards the entrance and sat with this older couple. I didn't want to try talking to her while she was talking to them. So I went outside and stood around there for a few minutes, hoping she might come out on her own.

After a few minutes, she hadn't come out so I decided to go to the shop around the corner to get some food. I thought I could just talk to her at the lunch break.

When I returned after getting food, everyone was waiting outside the seminar room to go back inside. I looked around, trying to find her. I saw the older couple she was with, but not her.

The seminar started again and everyone returned to their seats. I waited for her to return to her seat a few rows in front of me.

But she never came back...

She must have left. And I'd missed the opportunity to talk to her.

Another wasted opportunity... Sad

It's just so disappointing that my fear and hesitation holds me back in these situations. Not very often do those chances present themselves, where I see a girl who I'm actually really attracted to. But then it happens and I just squander it.

I guess the lesson is....don't wait for the perfect opportunity. Just go!

I could've just gone over and sat next to her and the older couple at the morning tea break and spoken to all of them. It would have been a lot less awkward than what I was imagining it to be. 

...............

I had a Tinder date that night. The girl was several years older than me.

We met for drinks and it went fairly well. I was confident and she seemed to like talking to me. But it was probably all a bit too 'friendly.' We did talk about dating and Tinder and stuff but I could've gone a lot further with that. I need to learn how to create more tension on these dates. I think I was a little uncomfortable trying to escalate things because she was older than me. She also wasn't very good at holding eye contact which also made it difficult. I could have teased her about that.

But she messaged me this morning and sounded like she had a good time.
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I did a few approaches over the weekend. Nothing amazing.

On Saturday night, I went to the club just down the road from me for about an hour. I talked to a group of Americans in the line up, which was a good start.

Then when I got inside, I did my first approach almost instantly. Saw a group of girls who were walking near me and one of them looked at me so I talked to her. I got her attention and she had a big smile on her face. But the rest of her group seemed to be watching, which made me a bit uncomfortable so I didn't really commit to the interaction.

After that I spent sooo long wandering around the club and not talking to anyone. I felt like I was getting a lot of looks from girls there, even some of the best looking girls in the club. But then again, they might have just been looking at me thinking why is this idiot walking around by himself haha.

There were at least 3-4 girls who I'm very confident would have liked me to approach them..but I still didn't Sad

Finally, I stopped a girl who was walking near me and tried talking to her. She said she had a boyfriend and moved on.

After that I was getting very self conscious...firstly a lot of girls had probably noticed I was on my own. And then some of them might have seen me bomb out when I finally did do an approach. So I didn't stay much longer after that.

Sunday evening, I went for a walk to a lookout near the beach. Saw two girls taking selfies together and thought it would be a good opportunity to do a day time approach. So I went over and offered to take a photo for them. I took the photo and talked to them a bit.

That could actually be a very good spot for talking to girls during the day. It's not far from here, every time I've been, there has always been some cute girls around. Often they're by themselves. And they usually stop to look and the view and take photos. So it might be worth going over there more often.

I've been trying to think about how I'm going to meet my ideal girl in 2020. I need to be more strategic with it.

I don't seem to be finding my type of Tinder or Bumble. When I go out, I don't see that many girls who look like my type. And when I do, I often waste the opportunity and don't approach. 

Despite being in a fairly popular area, I don't see that many opportunities to approach when I'm walking around here in the day time.

I've been to a few yoga classes at my gym recently thinking perhaps that would be a good place to meet girls. But I haven't had much luck with that so far.

I've considered moving to Melbourne and living in the CBD, because at least I'd see plenty of girls every day there who I could approach. Based on past experiences, I'd probably do a lot better on Tinder there as well. And I think there are a lot more girls who fit my type there.

Or I could move back to my home city and find a place in the CBD. That would probably be a better location that where I'm at right now for meeting girls. And at least I'd have more friends there to go out with at night, so I'd probably do better with that.
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So I've really done fuck all in the past few weeks, in terms of social/dating stuff. Besides talking to a few girls on tinder.

But I'm off to Singapore next week, so that will be a good opportunity to create some good stories. Here are my goals for my week in Singapore..
  • Meet people on walking tours..when I was in Europe I did a lot of walking tours in the cities I visited and there were some really cute girls in them. I've found a couple of walking tours in Singapore so if there are any girls in the tour, I need to talk to them and try to make plans to hang out later if I can. At the very least, I should try to just make some friends on these tours
  • Try to get a Valentines date. I'll be there on Valentines day so I should try to organise a Valentines date. I'll get on Tinder and see if I can find anything on there but it would be even better if I could approach a girl during the day and get her on a date
  • At least 5 day time approaches
  • I'm not 100% sure whether I'll have the hotel room to myself yet but if I do, get a girl back to the hotel room - either from Tinder or day/night cold approach
  • Go out at least one night and do at least 7 approaches that night
One of my favourite travel memories was when I first went to Hawaii and met an American girl staying at the same hotel who I ended up hanging out with quite a lot during my stay there. It would be great to find a girl in Singapore travelling on her own and hang out together during the time we're there.
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Didn't end up going to Singapore because of all the coronavirus stuff unfortunately. But I'm in my hometown instead.

Last night I went out and did a few approaches with some of the other guys. First one was two girls together. Opened up really well, got their attention straight away and had them smiling and laughing. I was talking to them for a while but started to lose steam in the interaction after a while, which felt a bit awkward.

There was another one later that responded really well at first but then left a few minutes in. I just played it too safe. She obviously liked me when I approached her so I could have done a lot more than I did. Best option probably would have been to suggest going somewhere quieter to have a chat - as it was super loud where we were and she was struggling to hear me.

I need to start being more proactive with this dating stuff. Right now, I'm just not getting where I want and it's not going to just magically happen if I don't do anything differently.

I'm going to start setting some goals and sub-goals to try and move me in the right direction. Each month I'll set a new dating related goal and then the sub-goals will be action based goals to help me achieve my main goal.

For example..this month, I'm thinking my main goal will be to go on a date with a girl I'm physically attracted to from cold approach. It has to be a girl I meet in real life..Tinder doesn't count.

My action based goals to help me achieve my main goal will be at least 20 approaches within the month and asking at least 3 girls for their contact details (either phone number or social media).

The action based goals will be most important, because I have 100% control over whether I can achieve them. If I don't achieve my main goal, then I'll keep adjusting my action based goals each month until I have achieved my main goal.

Although going out at night to bars and clubs isn't ideal because it's hard to find 'girlfriend material' there, I think it will have to be part of my process. As long as I'm actually being proactive when I go out and doing approaches. It's the only place to find a high volume of girls to approach..at least in my city.
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I want to expand on that previous post.

I'm sick of not moving the needle like I want to with this dating stuff. Sure, I've come a long way since my first journal but I'm still not where I want to be with this. I'm so sick of going out at night (or in the day) and feeling like a complete loser for hardly approaching any girls.

Things need to change.

-I've joined a dating mastermind group online. After just one day of being in the group, I'm already feeling more inspired to go out and talk to girls and try some new stuff.

One of my biggest problems in the past 12 months has been lack of motivation. I don't really have many single friends interested in going out and meeting women like I did in my old city. I used to be always catching up and talking to others who were on the same page as me in my old city, which kept me motivated.

But I don't have that now. So I'm hoping that being part of this mastermind will give me that again. There are also some very switched on guys in the group, who I can learn a lot from. The only problem is most of the guys are more focused on one night stands, than long term relationships. I don't want to get really drawn into the one night stand/hookup culture again. I don't think it's good for mental health. Not that I'm completely opposed to one night stands or anything but I'd rather find a quality relationship.

-I'm strongly considering moving cities again. I love a lot of things about the city I'm living in now but it's not that good for dating. The volume of girls around isn't high enough and it attracts a certain type of girl that doesn't appeal to me. I have thought about returning to my hometown and actually had a job interview there today but I don't think that would be the best move. It would feel like a step backwards. I think I need to move to a bigger city. I want to be somewhere that is very close to my workplace, to minimize travel time. I need as much time as possible outside of work to dedicate to dating and business and some downtime. It also needs to be somewhere that has a high volume of girls aged 20-30 and good nightlife nearby.

-I have to start setting approach targets again. This was the only way I got myself to approach girls consistently in 2019. And I have to commit to them. No going home until I reach my target.

-I also need to start asking myself questions that will make me think more creatively...

For example.. If I was going to do everything it takes to make myself approach more, what would I do?

Well, I could start drinking a lot more alcohol when I go out to reduce my resistance to approaching...I could find a wingman and have them keep me accountable to doing X number of approaches each night, I could put money on the line..if I don't do X number of approaches I lose $50.. I could dress up with a wig and glasses to create more anonymity (not sure if that would actually work but it could)..stay out all night to do as many as possible...

Some of these ideas probably aren't that wise but at least a question like that makes you think outside the box.

Other questions to ask myself...

How can I create curiosity in interactions?
How can I position myself as higher value in my interactions?
How can I sexualise my interactions more?
If someone gave me $5000 to improve my appearance, how would I spend it?
If someone gave me $10,000 to use to improve my dating life, what would I spend it on?
If I had to find my dream girl in 6 months, what would I do?
If someone in my position came to me for advice, what would I tell them?
What would happen if I tried going way more sexual in my night interactions?
What could I do to speed up my learning curve 10x?

I really like those last six questions especially. Those are the type of questions that get you thinking.

Another question worth pondering is what would be the best way to allocate my time? I'm currently working 3 days per week in a part time job and spend the rest of the week working on my business. I could use some of the spare time I have now to go out more and learn more about dating skills. But I could also get a full time job that would pay 20-30k more than what I'm currently earning from the part time job and use some of that money to speed up my dating results - eg. I could get some sort of coaching, buy some nicer clothes, hire a professional photographer to get better tinder photos, etc..

My goal for this coming weekend...at least 5 approaches and practice creating curiosity in my interactions and super strong eye contact.
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FRIDAY NIGHT

I was actually motivated to go out for the first time in a while after reading some of the material in the mastermind group during the week. It was worth joining just for that motivation.

My goal for Friday night was to do at least 3 approaches. Small target but I just wanted to get back into the habit of actually approaching girls.

I also made a rule to go no longer than 30 minutes without doing any approaches. First one was the hardest. Took me the full 30 minutes to finally find the courage to do one.

I was standing near the bar and a girl approached the bar, very close to me. She positioned herself in a way that made her look like she was open to being approached (sort of facing in my direction). I interpreted this as an invitation to approach and started talking to her.

The opener I used was ‘would you rather meet a guy at a bar or online?’

I used this opener a few more times during the night. And I like it for a few reasons. I often get stuck in very platonic conversations with girls. This instantly introduces a sexual nature into the conversation, without being creepy. It’s then easier to transition from that into other sexual related topics. And I’m pretty sure that just about every girl will say ‘at a bar’ (they did last night) so that sets a good frame for the interaction because they’re telling you they would like to meet a guy at the bar. Also, the girls with boyfriends are probably going to say ‘well I met my boyfriend at a bar (or on tinder) so you quickly find out if they’re available.

This girl said definitely at a bar. Her response to me was definitely very positive. We talked for a while as she waited to get a drink and I found out she had just moved here from another city. After she was served her drink, she went back to her friends and said she’d see me around.

Huge mistake, not stopping her before she went back to her friends. She was definitely showing signs of interest in me and she did seem cool. All I needed to do was say ‘hey before you go back to your friends….’ And ask her another question or try to get her contact details. Such a shame.

*I was thinking a lot about how to handle this situation in future because it's something that's happened to me many times in the past. If I talk to her at the bar and it goes well, then I need a way to get her to stay after she gets her drink. This is what I came up with...'hey, just before you go back to your friends, who are you here with? Oh I'm here with a few of my friends. Ok cool, would they care if  you stayed here and talked to me for 2 minutes? You seem cool, it would be good to get to know you more before you take off. Hopefully most girls will say they can stay for a few minutes after that and then I can continue...

Second approach didn’t go so well. I was nearing my 30 minute limit and there was a girl on her own by me. I didn’t find her that attractive but I wanted to stick to the 30 minute limit and it was my best opportunity. The girl would not smile all laugh or anything. Bad response. For a brief moment, I thought maybe I can turn this around. But then I thought, what’s the point..I’m not attracted to her anyway. So, I said ‘have a good night’ and moved on.

Next approach was a lot faster this time. Two girls together lining up at the bar near me. I engaged them in conversation quickly and then again as we got closer to the bar. Got a pretty good response from both of them. But then lost them once they got served.

Next one, I was lining up for another bar. Two girls lining up in front of me. I took a while to say anything to them, but eventually used my ‘where would you rather meet a guy’ opener. It got the conversation going pretty well. One of them was definitely very engaged. But then I lost them when we got to the front of the line.

I should have spoken to them earlier in the line, which would have given me more time to talk to them. Or I could’ve re-approached them inside. In the back of my mind I was worried about being judged for being on my own and didn’t want to re-approach for that reason.

Final approach was inside that bar. Girl who had just entered the bar looked right at me and basically non-verbally approached me. I spoke to her. I didn’t really do much with this one. She wasn’t my type.

SATURDAY NIGHT

Saturday night was disappointing. I went out with the intention to do at least 5 approaches and had all these things I wanted to practice.

The first bar I went to was pretty busy. There were a lot of very attractive girls there and I felt like I was getting some looks from them. I set my timer for 30 minutes to do an approach.

The bar had a very social scene vibe. A lot of big groups of friends all there together. And being there alone made me feel pretty self conscious. I wanted to go somewhere else but knew I had to do at least one approach before leaving.

Found two girls together and approached them. It sounded like they both had boyfriends but they were still friendly and talked for ~5 minutes.

Next bar had the same sort of vibe. It felt like everyone there knew each other except me. I just wanted to get out and go to a different area. I did one very short, half assed approach just to stick to the 30 minute rule and then left.

By the time I got to the other area, my motivation and overall mood was way down. A million excuses were creeping into my head not to approach. And I didn’t commit to the 30 minute rule.

One thing that may have helped me on Friday night was nicotine. No, I haven’t taken up smoking! But I’ve started experimenting with nicotine lozenges as a way to increase my focus and attention for work. On Friday evening, I thought I’d try taking a nicotine lozenge before going out, to see if it would have any effect. It’s hard to say but I think I may have been a bit more motivated and alert when I went out after taking it. So I’ll try experimenting with that again next weekend.

BTW..nicotine is not what makes smoking so dangerous. It’s all the chemicals in cigarettes that give people cancer. Nicotine on its own appears to be safe and even has some benefits.

I also need to really commit to the 30 minute rule. Having that time pressure is one thing that actually seems to work for me. Ideally, I will eventually make it a 15 or 10 minute rule. As 30 minutes is still a bit too long not to be approaching.

I've got some solid leads going on Tinder and bumble..a lot more than I've had in a long time and definitely a few who are keen to meet up. I've been a little unmotivated to set up dates recently. But going over some of the content in that mastermind group is really starting to make me thing differently about the way I interact with women. So I think it would be good to set up some dates and start putting some of what I've learned into practice.
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