Traits of an Abuser

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Miriam1966

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2018
Messages
75
Reaction score
0
Just keeping busy, sharing information, working out my thoughts and my feelings today :)

I read an interesting article on a psychology website that I really related to. These are some traits of abusive people, and my boyfriend has all of them. I am tempted to send him this article, but I know I'll pay for it, so I'll just post it here. Attitudes of abusive people:

1. I have no need to apologize. You, however, must understand, accept, and tolerate me no matter what I do or say.

2. I appreciate that there are rules and obligations, but those apply mostly to you, because I don’t have the time or the inclination to abide by them. 

3. I may seem arrogant and haughty, I may act like a jerk and be negative and angry, and that’s fine with me. I can't change who I am. But you better not act the same way or I will make you feel like dirt.

4. I expect you to be loyal to me at all times, no matter what I do; however, don’t expect me to be loyal to you in any way.

5. I will criticize you, and I expect you to accept it, but if you criticize me, I will come at you with rage. One more thing: I will never forget or forgive. I will pay you back one way or another, over and over again.

6. I expect you to be interested in what I have achieved and in what I have to say. I, on the other hand, am not at all interested in you or in what you have achieved, so don’t expect much curiosity or interest from me about your life. I just don’t care.

7. I am not manipulative; I just like to have things done my way, no matter how much it inconveniences others or how it makes them feel. I actually don’t care how others feel. But if you ask me to do anything for you, I will prove to you how manipulative you are no matter what you say. I NEED to win no matter the cost to you.

8. I expect gratitude at all times, for even the smallest things I do. And you must continue to show gratitude always. But if you do something nice for me, I may or may not acknowledge it depending on whether I need something from you or not. I expect your gratitude, but don't expect mine.

9. I have no intention of compromising for you or our relationship. You are the cause of my suffering so why should I do anything to accommodate you? But be prepared if you don't compromise everything for me.

10. I have no interest in taking responsibility in anyway if it doesn't suit me. But you need to make sure to keep the house clean, pay the bills, do the cooking and take care of the family - without nagging me or complaining about it. I am entitled to being served by everyone around me. You are not.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?
 
bleed_the_freak said:
Yes. It was my ex - the mother of my child.

Horrible, but glad to see "ex" in your reply.


Serenia said:
You just wrote about my ex husband.

Hi Serenia, you wrote "ex", good for you. I'm sorry you went through that. I hope to be writing "ex" before the summer as well.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Describes my ex when he was drinking, which was constantly towards the end...if he came home at all after work.  He was decent when he wasn't drinking.

Sorry to hear that. Another "ex".
 
I have black moods. I used to call it my dark side, but that sounds self indulgent. It's my nasty side.

I am NEVER violent.

I have a sharp tongue. I'm not proud of this.

My love never wavers.

I will hurt you. I will be truthfully sorry.

I am a jerk.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top