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Chronic

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Hi folks. I've been hanging around reading posts a pretty long time, and trying to think of something meaningful to say.
But right now I'm so depressed and stressed out I'm almost speechless.

All I can think is to say for the moment is hello and that I feel exactly the same many of you do. For me it's been a lifetime of chronic emptiness, loneliness and pain. Feels like I'm living in a deep black empty void, and that darkness often swallows me whole. 

I don't wish to go into heavy details about my life, just sufficed to say it is not going at all well.
Short version is I'm middle aged male, in pretty poor health, unemployed and living alone in a dumpy depressing US town with unfriendly people. Trying hard to get out of here but have no vehicle and nowhere to go. No friends or family to turn to for help getting relocated to a better place, or to offer emotional support. My only life is lived online and that's really bad for mental health.

But for now I'm stuck alone in what has become a living hell. Not much better than prison solitary confinement.  There is nowhere to go. Nothing to do. No public transportation and virtually nowhere enjoyable to walk, like a park or town square. 

I try to count my blessings that for the moment I have a roof over my head. But I'm on extremely shaky ground and my anxiety is off the charts. A good stable home and one decent friend would be like winning the lottery for me. Without a proper home I will never be well.

I've posted ads in 6 different states, looking for a place to stay and maybe a part time job. But I get no good replies. It's usually months of endless dead silence, and the only offers I ever get come from shady or hostile people, either cyber crooks or just people who sound so flaky and crazy, no way I would trust them with my life. 

Guess I've said enough. May post again in other forums, but for the moment I'll end this by saying I feel your pain, and I wish you all the best.
 
You make it very clear that you're in an unenviable position.
One decent friend would be a stroke of luck for a lot of people here; a forum of strangers may have to do for now.
So you've got serious logistic problems as well as anxiety, poor health, depression and darkness threatening to swallow you. The unemployment and logistic issues make the unwellness worse and the unwellness doesn't help the job and home search, does it? Nothing like getting it with both barrels eh?
If it was me I'd try and table the mental health issues and focus on the logistics.
That doesn't help very much does it, Chronic? I'm sorry about that. Truly.
OK, do not surrender to the shitty hand of cards you've been dealt. There is no surrender.
Keep coming back here, a few online strangers are better than chronic emptiness, loneliness and pain.
 
Hey! Sorry this is going on and thank you for reaching out. I want you to know that I am praying for you and hope you find your peace. Have you considered talking to a pastor or a counselor? It helped me. Hope to hear from you soon.
 
Hi. 
I really know how you feel. I am stuck in a town way up north in Norway. Did not have any clue on what to do or how to get away. Life sometimes gives you a lot of pain and challenges. I do hope you keep on trying cause nothing is never going to change if you stop. Im still in that town. The solution for me was to change myself.
Im hoping it works out for you.
Anyway, you have a friend in me if you need it.
 
Jessicat said:
Hi. 
I really know how you feel. I am stuck in a town way up north in Norway. Did not have any clue on what to do or how to get away. Life sometimes gives you a lot of pain and challenges. I do hope you keep on trying cause nothing is never going to change if you stop. Im still in that town. The solution for me was to change myself.
Im hoping it works out for you.
Anyway, you have a friend in me if you need it.

Funny how different people are. I'd kind of love to be stuck in a town up north in Norway lol.

But I digress. To the OP, as cliche as it sound, you're already doing what you should be doing in your circumstances, so you need tom"hang in there". Just make sure when opportunity knocks, you grab it.

Take care
 
Richard_39 said:
Jessicat said:
Hi. 
I really know how you feel. I am stuck in a town way up north in Norway. Did not have any clue on what to do or how to get away. Life sometimes gives you a lot of pain and challenges. I do hope you keep on trying cause nothing is never going to change if you stop. Im still in that town. The solution for me was to change myself.
Im hoping it works out for you.
Anyway, you have a friend in me if you need it.

Funny how different people are. I'd kind of love to be stuck in a town up north in Norway lol.

But I digress. To the OP, as cliche as it sound, you're already doing what you should be doing in your circumstances, so you need tom"hang in there". Just make sure when opportunity knocks, you grab it.

Take care
Haha. Thats funny. Yeah, people are different i guess. Some thrive, some crash and some just keeps going.
 

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