The reason why I'm sitting here typing this message to you is because I have absolutely no one else to talk to and haven't for the past fifteen years. I've been alone for so long now that I have forgotten what it feels like to hold someone's hand or even the touch of another human being. I never really knew, or believed, how physically painful life can be. When I was younger, nearly thirty-five years go now, I had a severe addiction to drugs and because of a number of crimes I had committed during my addiction I was sentenced to twenty years in a state prison which I served a little over nineteen years for. Unbeknownst to me I must have contracted Hep C before I went in and during my incarceration the virus had severely damaged my liver and when I was released and began to feel sick on a daily basis I went to a doctor who told me of the damage to my liver. He told me that even though the liver can rejuvenate itself, mine was way ;past that and my only hope is a liver transplant.
When I was released I had no where to go and my older sister invited me to stay with her and her family in a town that I had never been to before. Because of being sick almost from the day I was released I never had the chance to make any friends in this new town. When the trips to the doctor's got to be too much for my sister to handle she asked me to leave. She did find an apartment for me two blocks from her which I thought would be okay in case I was unable to get to a doctor on my own. That wasn't the case though, because not only could she no longer handle the trips to the doctor's nearly every two days, it got to the point where she cut off all contact with me. She said it was affecting her health to be constantly worried about me.
My days now are spent in my bedroom, almost twenty four hours a day as there isn't anywhere I can go. It's a very rural area where I live and any stores are nearly a half hour's ride in a car. I look out my bedroom window a lot and I can see some people going past and I can't tell you how much I wish I could be them!! I know my situation is entirely my fault, if I hadn't gotten addicted to drugs I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now. Suicide has crossed my mind a lot lately, but i don't think I could do that. I have tears in my eyes now so I should close this message before I can't see the keyboard at all. Thank you for reading what I've written. Take care
When I was released I had no where to go and my older sister invited me to stay with her and her family in a town that I had never been to before. Because of being sick almost from the day I was released I never had the chance to make any friends in this new town. When the trips to the doctor's got to be too much for my sister to handle she asked me to leave. She did find an apartment for me two blocks from her which I thought would be okay in case I was unable to get to a doctor on my own. That wasn't the case though, because not only could she no longer handle the trips to the doctor's nearly every two days, it got to the point where she cut off all contact with me. She said it was affecting her health to be constantly worried about me.
My days now are spent in my bedroom, almost twenty four hours a day as there isn't anywhere I can go. It's a very rural area where I live and any stores are nearly a half hour's ride in a car. I look out my bedroom window a lot and I can see some people going past and I can't tell you how much I wish I could be them!! I know my situation is entirely my fault, if I hadn't gotten addicted to drugs I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now. Suicide has crossed my mind a lot lately, but i don't think I could do that. I have tears in my eyes now so I should close this message before I can't see the keyboard at all. Thank you for reading what I've written. Take care