Inept at life, what's the pattern?

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Phantimos

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Anyone ever feel that everybody but you knows how to live, socialise, and...exist properly? Almost as if they are privy to information about life that just never made it's way to you?.

I feel pretty alone in this but, rationally speaking, I am 100% sure I am not.
 
No Phantimos, you're definitely not alone.
I can tell, because that's exactly how I feel. It's like the most basic honeysuckle is an impassable mountain of quantum physics.
It feels like everyone else was just born with some innate knowledge of life. Everyone but you. Even though the very fact that we're talking about it right now proves otherwise.

It's so bizzare, spending your whole life amongst the people and still feeling like an alien visitng Earth for the first time.
 
The feeling that everyone else knows how to live and act human is very familiar to me, but over the years I thought it was for the opposite reason. That I had gained information or insight that deprived me of the naivety with which others approach life naturally. Not even through overwhelmingly negative experiences on my part (though I had my share), but more through ongoing observation of the world. I don't know...at some point I figured that I had stared for too long into the abyss or behind the curtain, whatever metaphor you prefer. You can consider that a more elitist approach that doesn't hinge too much on myself being eternally lacking...cause as far as I'm concerned, we are all endlessly imperfect. If I wanted to go there though, I'd say it's a kind of inborn impetus and optimism that I lost along the way, if I ever had it.

Regardless...rationally speaking, not only are you not alone in feeling this way but people like us that think that way seem inclined to underestimate the frequency of this mindset in other people.
 
There's confirmation bias going on where you tend to notice those that have what you lack and ignore anything that runs counter to that. Of course the situation isn't all that rare, and can't be, else there wouldn't be forums or subreddits with hundreds of thousands of subscribers where people discuss just how miserable they are.
 
X-1 Alpha said:
It's so bizzare, spending your whole life amongst the people and still feeling like an alien visitng Earth for the first time.

Yes! Word. 😂
Irl I walk around looking for someone like me but most of the time I just get confirmation that I am a freak of nature. The weak one in the litter that was supposed to die but somehow just made it. Looking outward always gave me confirmation that I’m never going to be like the rest of the population. 
Now I feel like that’s ok. Yes I feel lonely and I desperately wish that there was someone just like me beside me. Sometimes it hurts like hell but I strongly believe that it has made me the better person. The one that sticks up for others, that bleeds empathy, one that is able to see others for what they really are cause true self is without form. Among the crap you get from life, gifts also exist.
❤️
 
Rodent said:
The feeling that everyone else knows how to live and act human is very familiar to me, but over the years I thought it was for the opposite reason. That I had gained information or insight that deprived me of the naivety with which others approach life naturally. Not even through overwhelmingly negative experiences on my part (though I had my share), but more through ongoing observation of the world. I don't know...at some point I figured that I had stared for too long into the abyss or behind the curtain, whatever metaphor you prefer. You can consider that a more elitist approach that doesn't hinge too much on myself being eternally lacking...cause as far as I'm concerned, we are all endlessly imperfect. If I wanted to go there though, I'd say it's a kind of inborn impetus and optimism that I lost along the way, if I ever had it.

Regardless...rationally speaking, not only are you not alone in feeling this way but people like us that think that way seem inclined to underestimate the frequency of this mindset in other people.

That's actually how I started to cope with this feeling. Thinking that I just see the world for what it is and everybody else is blind. You know, kinda like when a crazy person think they are the only sane one in the world.

I do however notice a lot of repeating patterns of behaviour when I people watch/interact. Most of these patterns are about what is considered acceptable in society. I do not adhere to these patterns and as such, I always stand out in social situations. 

That's what makes me wonder you know. Am I missing something here? Or do I choose to be unhindered by bullshit social conventions?.

Sorry this so vague  :p
 
Phantimos said:
Rodent said:
The feeling that everyone else knows how to live and act human is very familiar to me, but over the years I thought it was for the opposite reason. That I had gained information or insight that deprived me of the naivety with which others approach life naturally. Not even through overwhelmingly negative experiences on my part (though I had my share), but more through ongoing observation of the world. I don't know...at some point I figured that I had stared for too long into the abyss or behind the curtain, whatever metaphor you prefer. You can consider that a more elitist approach that doesn't hinge too much on myself being eternally lacking...cause as far as I'm concerned, we are all endlessly imperfect. If I wanted to go there though, I'd say it's a kind of inborn impetus and optimism that I lost along the way, if I ever had it.

Regardless...rationally speaking, not only are you not alone in feeling this way but people like us that think that way seem inclined to underestimate the frequency of this mindset in other people.

That's actually how I started to cope with this feeling. Thinking that I just see the world for what it is and everybody else is blind. You know, kinda like when a crazy person think they are the only sane one in the world.

I do however notice a lot of repeating patterns of behaviour when I people watch/interact. Most of these patterns are about what is considered acceptable in society. I do not adhere to these patterns and as such, I always stand out in social situations. 

That's what makes me wonder you know. Am I missing something here? Or do I choose to be unhindered by bullshit social conventions?.

Sorry this so vague  :p

It isn't all that black and white and it would be too far-fetched for me to assume you and I were one of the few chosen one-eyed kings among the blind. Everybody needs to suspend their disbelief to a certain degree in order to just exist in the world without becoming insane, hazardously nihilistic or suicidal...case in point.

I also stand out in social situations, particularly those that allow me too much freedom. I'm doing okay in the work environment and with close family, but put me in a club or a party situation with too many uncertainties and not enough rules and directions and I'll just hide in a corner. To provide an example of suspension of disbelief: I couldn't interact with people at all if I constantly reminded myself that they have been in natural but awkward situations like having sex, being stuck on the toilet with diarrhea and popping pimples on their forehead. A lot of social interactions are repetitious and shallow and the bigger problem for you as an individual might be the lack of a proper counterweight. The internet does offer good places to be less hindered by social rules and the consequences of crossing lines are also fewer. I find it easier to connect here and to approach subjects that are not very welcome in smalltalk.
 
From my perspective, I think I feel things more deeply. I always feel like an outsider and that I don't belong and it still hurts. I do find myself drawn to the underdog and will stick up for someone if I think they're being picked on. I often wonder if I just boarded the wrong bus to popular because I keep getting thrown off  :p
 

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