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I am lonely, and it's my fault
#11
Whatever helps you feel better - do it! Talking and sharing helps but don't get into a discussion of how bad everything is, look for some positive. I've been there but trying to help friends who just endlessly seek agreement with how awful everything is doesn't help. I even know someone who seems to draw comfort from never having to leave the house or socialise because he's "too ill" and has been for years.  I think you have to want to get better and be prepared to try and break the circle.
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#12
(11-06-2018, 05:42 AM)Jessicat Wrote: What helps or not is individual.
For some talking is helping them. For some it’s not.
Don’t know why one shoe has to fit every foot out there. 🧐
We all got to be brave and try different things. If it’s a wrong move, go back and reevaluate.
*trying to Jedi some good wibes to all of you* 😋

These arent the droids your looking for...lol.
Very true that bit. What helps varies in proportionnate number to how many people are on the globe at the time. Talking helps, sometimes not talking helps. Thing is to find what works best for you, not be afraid to try different things then determine if it helps or not.
I did counseling. Helped at first, but over a longer period, it actually hindered, just because of how I am. It's an exploration.
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#13
(10-31-2018, 03:38 PM)Phantimos Wrote: Let's see, I have no friends or a social life of any kind and it's not because I couldn't find any or as a result of crippling social anxiety or lack of social skills. I just don't try. I don't put myself out there for fear of rejection on account of my low self esteem.

When I do get into social situations, I am usually the funny guy. I get peoples interest but I do not follow it up with anything. I just disappear.

Anyone else with a similar struggle? If so, what's your story?

You have part of your problem solved already, you can indeed talk to people and be very sociable. The other half is that because of low self esteem you lack follow through. Like everything you need to find motivation to try, this takes time and practice. As long as you find a reason to try, I think you will be all right. So try to find a reason to follow through, make it a point to follow up. All social connections take work and effort from both parties, there is nothing you can do to change that fact. But again I think you will be okay, perhaps you will connect with someone who won't let your lack of follow through effect having a relationship. There are people out there that put forth more effort to retain connections. I have many friends that work harder to be my friend than I do theirs.


"A strong sword can only be forged through fire."

"Whats done, is done."
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