Introverted guy. Problems at work.

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skyblue32

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Hi everyone. I'm 32 years old, male and work as a teacher. While I have around 4-5 very close friends who I see once every 2 weeks, the rest of the time I have a strong preference to being alone. I'm technically not a total hermit, but I'm not too far off in terms of my social needs. 

The problem in my life is actually at work, where "cliques" are the norm among teachers and people get very offended at me wanting to spend time alone at lunch. So I'm here to hopefully find advice on how to not be hated for being a loner. Also, if I can help others, I wanted to share my experiences and strategies for coping.
 
Hi.
Welcome! 😊
Hmm. I don’t think you can change how others feel or react.
If you want to be a certain way, be that. Don’t mind others that try and force you to be something else.
If you want to talk I’m game. 
😇
 
Hi Jessica. Thanks for the advice. It feels like that's the only real solution, just ignore it. I was hoping there was a way of sort of "announcing" my introversion when I first meet people, so that they don't take it so personally after.
 
Then I would keep it simple. 
Hi, I’m a real introverted person so I don’t like to talk much, but it’s really nice to meat you. 

Maybe one sentence would do?
 
I totally understand your situation - I’m definitely the loner in my office. It’s a shame the more extroverted among us tend to take our desire for alone time as a snub when it’s anything but. I find using a bit of humour can help - when you’re introduced to someone, smile brightly and say something along the lines of “Hi! Pleased to meet you! I’m the shy, quiet one here so if you see me skulking behind a book or hiding out in the corner, I’m not ignoring you - just recharging.” I find most people are pretty understanding. 😊
 
ringwood said:
I totally understand your situation - I’m definitely the loner in my office.  It’s a shame the more extroverted among us tend to take our desire for alone time as a snub when it’s anything but. I find using a bit of humour can help - when you’re introduced to someone, smile brightly and say something along the lines of “Hi! Pleased to meet you! I’m the shy, quiet one here so if you see me skulking behind a book or hiding out in the corner, I’m not ignoring you - just recharging.” I find most people are pretty understanding. 😊

That's a direct and polite way of getting the point across. Good idea.
 
Extroverts can be so unaware, unfair, judgmental, and downright cruel to introverts. I've been through it. I still deal with it. People get offended that you don't want their constant conversation, companionship, and shared space.

Meanwhile, I just sit there thinking "Get the fresia off me."
 

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