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Danielle

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
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Location
New England, USA
I feel  like I'm running out of options....  I just cannot find an apartment.  Yes, there are places out there,  but my credit score is not great, and people are just not renting to me.    I'm already looking at places at the max budget I can squeak by and afford..barely.

I am feeling very defeated, and had no idea this would be so freaking difficult. I need help, and no one can help me.  I need money, and no one can help me there either.   

I've never asked anyone for anything in my 41 years of life,  but I feel like I need to grovel and beg my dad to help me.  At my age, I never thought things would be such honeysuckle.

Anyone have any suggestions at all...  any advice would be appreciated.    I really am at the end of my rope.
 
Can relate to your problems. When I was 15 and tried to find somewhere to stay it was extremely difficult. Called and went to so many people trying to get a chance. Nobody wanted to rent out to a uncertain paycheck.
Got lucky tho after so many fails. Keep at it. It has to turn at some point.
But yeah if you think your father can help you that’s worth a shot. I don’t think you should feel ashamed for asking him. Life is hard. Sometimes you just got to swallow it to get going further down the road.
Hoping it works out for you. 🌈
 
I feel your pain too, I have been working on my credit ever since I ran it into the ground taking care of my mother before she passed. People don't care that you ruined your credit putting family first.

My ex wife is moving to Kentucky next summer and taking my son with her, since she is now dating a guy that will apparently be moving with her I am ass out on any help to relocate. I have to save as much money as I can, then move to Ky, by myself with no job and live in a hotel until I can either find a job or end up out on the street. I am freaking out, and I have no support structure, nor anyone that can help me. My other option is to stay in Fl. and only see my son a few times a year, and I can honestly say that will not last long for me as he is all I have left in this world!

I am sorry its only that I can relate, but if you need to vent I'm here!
 
Jessicat.. thank you, I hope something works out soon too...


Svisionguy... I am so sorry you are in the same boat... This is hard and scary. Eventually, it all has to work out... but, just, when??? Feel free to vent to me too...
 
svisionguy said:
My ex wife is moving to Kentucky next summer and taking my son with her, since she is now dating a guy that will apparently be moving with her I am ass out on any help to relocate. I have to save as much money as I can, then move to Ky, by myself with no job and live in a hotel until I can either find a job or end up out on the street. I am freaking out, and I have no support structure, nor anyone that can help me. My other option is to stay in Fl. and only see my son a few times a year, and I can honestly say that will not last long for me as he is all I have left in this world

Wtf. Why is she doing that? 
Hmm. I get that you guys aren’t together but you are the father of her child, shouldn’t she think about staying near you so he can be with you. If she has to move then there should have been a talk about what town you all can settle together inn.
Hope I don’t step on anyone’s toes now, just my opinion.
 
Have you looked a little outside the town? Not sure what is an acceptable commute for you, but if you get outside the city, it's usually cheaper.


Or. Just move where I live. It's cheap and I want that baby!!! Lol
 
Jessicat said:
svisionguy said:
My ex wife is moving to Kentucky next summer and taking my son with her, since she is now dating a guy that will apparently be moving with her I am ass out on any help to relocate. I have to save as much money as I can, then move to Ky, by myself with no job and live in a hotel until I can either find a job or end up out on the street. I am freaking out, and I have no support structure, nor anyone that can help me. My other option is to stay in Fl. and only see my son a few times a year, and I can honestly say that will not last long for me as he is all I have left in this world

Wtf. Why is she doing that? 
Hmm. I get that you guys aren’t together but you are the father of her child, shouldn’t she think about staying near you so he can be with you. If she has to move then there should have been a talk about what town you all can settle together inn.
Hope I don’t step on anyone’s toes now, just my opinion.

Shes doing it for work, Right now she has to travel every other week and it is getting hard on her. When the discussion of moving came up she was single, and was willing to allow me to stay with her while I found a job and then a place of my own. Now she is in a relationship, and that is not possible...she has offered to "help me move" but I don't think she is seeing the big picture...if it was just getting to Ky that was a problem I would leave everything I own and drive up with just the clothes on my back. But, either she isn't thinking or realizing that since I have no job there i'll have no way to secure an apt, or house...so I'd have to live in a hotel...that with my car payment, student loan payments cell phone etc is like 2200-2500/month. So basically, I have to put every penny I can spare in saving and hope I find something before I run out...my only other option would be to clean out my retirement again, which I had to do to take care of my mom...

So, ya...
 
TheRealCallie said:
Have you looked a little outside the town?  Not sure what is an acceptable commute for you, but if you get outside the city, it's usually cheaper.


Or. Just move where I live.  It's cheap and I want that baby!!! Lol



Oh yeah... looking everywhere...  not just in the city.... I'm looking into Southern New Hampshire as well...  People keep saying their complexes are full....no one moves during the holidays.....etc...

and just stand alone apartments are the ones killing me with credit checks, and then picking someone else.... or they are telling me their apartments aren't de leaded, and we need that because we have an infant....

I'm looking everywhere. Filled out a million applications, gone to a million open houses/apartment showings and nothing at all is working in our favor! 

I'm sorry to be such a downer, I just realllllllllllly don't know what to do at this point.   Keep looking I guess...
 
Depending on if someone is applying as a single mom, or as a family unit, sometimes there can be programs for housing available through a local women's shelter or centres? It may be a transition, but at least it could be a step.

Also any family housing available/low income housing complexes?

Any chance that you could explain to your Grandmother what is happening?

I don't know your relationship with your Dad, but your Dad (who happens to also be your child's Grandpa :D ), must also know how independent and proud you are. I would hope that if he is in a position to help he would prefer that to knowing that you were out of options. Maybe give him a chance? Even if it as a co signer on a lease?

Good luck.

Hugs
 
I'm not sure what country you're from so some of this might not help.

There's no shame in asking your family for help. In today's world EVERYBODY hits a rough patch.
Would filing bankruptcy help? I don't know if past bills are an issue, but you could clear that up. You can pay your lawyer bit by bit until all the court costs are paid. I know people don't like to do this, but if you're 41 now with bad credit you can use bankruptcy to improve that so when you're 45 you're not in the same boat.
 
Hi Danielle can you ask your Dad. Like people have said before there's no shame in asking for help. I've been there and asked no hesitation we've all been there everything being so expensive now parents have to help their kids because the government make life so difficult it's the only way nowadays.Does your Dad know how distressed you are ,out of sight out of mind and all that, he maybe thinking your coping give him a chance to help you, you were his baby after all and I'm sure he's mega proud of you. He might be able to help with a bigger deposit to offer the agents /landlords up front to put you ahead of other renters just a thought. My daughters asked me plenty of times and being a Dad it actually gives you a great feeling to be able to help your kids....Just talk to him ;).
 
Thank you for all your replies... I appreciate them all!

This explanation is going to make me sound even more pathetic than I already seem... So, I do have my boyfriend, who quit his job 2 weeks before our daughter was born... he only got a job last month, and was out of work for 6 months, leaving me to pay the bills etc.... we rent from my family who got fed up with my boyfriend for not working and had him evicted from the apartment, and then my family asked me to find a place and be out by the holidays...

At this point, I have no real debit, so filing for bankruptcy won't help me at this point. Before he quit his job, we did ok, we were fine, but now, we are struggling because we now have a baby, and 6 months of things to catch up on. In a few months, we will have money saved again... etc....

But because I now have this time frame hanging over my head because my family insists that I leave the apartment that I rent from my grandmother, I am screwed.

My credit isn't horrible, its just not good, and my boyfriend has no credit at all. My credit is lower than what most places are what people are looking for, but only by a small margin.... my dad is willing to help with first ,last, and security deposits, if he can and will do his best to help... only problem is.... he will not co sign for me if needed. Reason being, when I was young, and bought my first car, I made a lot of late payments and he was pissed that he was the co signer. Now that I am an adult, and paying on time will not be an issue, I do no think my father will be willing to co sign for me ever again. Yes, I am a big loser.

I live in a super expensive state, and to stay near work, its next to impossible to find an apartment that is actually affordable. The cheapest I am finding is $1700 for a 1 bedroom.... no utilities included.... So I have been looking in a bordering state, which is more affordable, but will put so much extra wear and tear on our one car, with the commutes we will both have for work...

Blah blah.... No, my family will not budge on time frames and give me more time to save money, yes, My loser boyfriend is now working, but we still need a couple more months of his steady paychecks for us to get back on track.... I work fulltime, in the Social Services and get paid next to nothing, but my schedule is flexible, so its super helpful with having a little baby to take care of.

I'm sorry to write a book here.... I'm just trying to explain the situation and why I am not sure anything is going to work out. With my job, I make too much for any state assistance....

So I know, I sound pretty pathetic, its just hard right now, when we have no money, a baby, and a time frame on finding a new place that requires extra money just to move in. I am hoping that we can find a place, move in, get settled, fix my credit, which hopefully wont take too long... and hoping that 2 years from now, this will all be a bad memory...

Thanks for reading and listening... xoxo
 
You don’t sound pathetic at all and you are definitely not a loser!
We all have honeysuckle in our lives. Sometimes it tends to be neck deep. I don’t have any tips for you. I only have an observation that I have made with my own life: Even in the most horrible situations when you feel that a disaster is on its way, when that disaster detonate, every single time I have just placed one foot in front of the other and kept on going. Just like you and your family will do. It’s going to work itself out, one way or the other.
Sending happy thoughts your way. 🌈
 
Jessicat said:
You don’t sound pathetic at all and you are definitely not a loser!
We all have honeysuckle in our lives. Sometimes it tends to be neck deep. I don’t have any tips for you. I only have an observation that I have made with my own life: Even in the most horrible situations when you feel that a disaster is on its way, when that disaster detonate, every single time I have just placed one foot in front of the other and kept on going. Just like you and your family will do. It’s going to work itself out, one way or the other.
Sending happy thoughts your way. 🌈

Thank you Jessicat xoxo
 
Hi Danielle . The way I'm seeing it is extra repair costs on your car plus petrol and god forbid high mileage meaning possible new car in two to three years for the long commute will probably bring your overall expenses close to if you stay if your living near work. I'm sorry if I sound like a red rag and a bull but if possible keep your Dad in the loop before a major move out of state. Your not losers in my book and Dads and daughters it's just a close bond no matter what...I'm sure he wants you to be safe and nearby to your little girl so keep him informed that's important I think.
 
Joturbo said:
Hi Danielle . The way I'm seeing it is extra repair costs on your car plus petrol and god forbid high mileage meaning possible new car in two to three years for the long commute will probably bring your overall expenses close to if you stay if your living near work. I'm sorry if I sound like a red rag and a bull but if possible keep your Dad in the loop before a major move out of state. Your not losers in my book and Dads and daughters it's just a close bond no matter what...I'm sure he wants you to be safe and nearby to your little girl so keep him informed that's important I think.

Thank you Joturbo, I appreciate your thoughts.  xoxo
 
Is a roommate situation possible? A friend or co-worker looking for something to split? Or, perhaps renting like a basement apartment from an individual similar to the arrangement you have now? That could eliminate the credit block issue.

If not, would a short-term 'homestyle' hotel work? Those would include all utilities and might be within budget as a temporary option.

Sorry I don't have any advice but empathize. Good luck. :)
 
Thank you MissGuided, a room mate situation wouldn't work, because no one really wants to be roomies with a couple and tthei infant. lol

The home-style hotel may work temporarily, that is something I will look into for sure!
 

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