What is love?

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**** this thread lol
 
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

This I believe is a great start. Love is more than a concept of mankind, it is built into us. However we have our own ideas on it, we twist it, we manipulate it, we try to make it work for us. Love is not something we win, it's not something we always recieve, it is something we give. We give it because love is not something you can gain, or earn, it's something that someone chooses to give you freely. It's not love if it has conditions, that is something wicked and harmful. Love is hard to define, but easy to feel.
 
Phantimos said:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Love by its very nature is unconditional. It only goes one way, and it never expects anything in return. Once felt, it never dies - for if anyone has ever 'fallen out of love' - I would argue that they were never truly in it in the first place.

What about unrequited love?. Is one side doomed to be in love without being loved back?

Unfortunately, yes, one side is doomed.  A person will eventually come to terms with the fact that their love is not being returned, but if you LOVE someone, rather than just liking them, the feeling never goes away.  Even if you haven't seen your loved one in decades, you love them just as much as you did before.

Look at the example of the famous poet Dante and his neighbor Beatrice.  When he met Beatrice, he immediately fell in love with her. He didn't even spend that much time with Beatrice, but she plays a major role in his most famous poems, and he looks forward to meeting her in heaven.


Fustar said:
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

This I believe is a great start. Love is more than a concept of mankind, it is built into us. However we have our own ideas on it, we twist it, we manipulate it, we try to make it work for us. Love is not something we win, it's not something we always recieve, it is something we give. We give it because love is not something you can gain, or earn, it's something that someone chooses to give you freely. It's not love if it has conditions, that is something wicked and harmful. Love is hard to define, but easy to feel.

Nice post, Fustar.
 
People are confusing it with altruism, empathy, and various religious notions around that. We don't love everyone equally. Romantic attachments in particular aren't selfless.
 
ardour said:
People are confusing it with altruism, empathy, and various religious notions around that. We don't love everyone equally. Romantic attachments in particular aren't selfless.

I would argue that it's you that's confusing it, and then projecting that confusion onto 'people'.

How do you KNOW what you state above?
 
Jokeshopbeard said:
ardour said:
People are confusing it with altruism, empathy, and various religious notions around that. We don't love everyone equally. Romantic attachments in particular aren't selfless.

I would argue that it's you that's confusing it, and then projecting that confusion onto 'people'.

How do you KNOW what you state above?

Ironically, I'd argue in Ardour's favor on the notion, although it's by no means an absolute truth.
Since love is, in an of itself, a self-defined notion based on experiences and interpretations of those experiences, it can indeed be misconstrued in favor of altruism, or selflessness, or even religiously defined preconceptions. Just as it can, at the same time, be irrevocably true in someone else's experiences.
I believe its undeniable a fact true love in its purest form exist. Just as it is undeniable that for many, it will NEVER exist, based on experiences accrued. I believe history has provided many an example to both sides of the argument.
Romantic interests can indeed be selfless, but In most cases are obviously not and in rare cases, most certainly are.
I'd like to propose the question of true love be a many interpratations answer that is quantifiable but ultimately personal in it's answer. And that makes it fascinating at that, much like Humans are in general :)
 
As for me, love is just an expression of human sexual instinct. Of course, love is not only sex but also devotion, patience, warmth, support, etc. But love is always based on sexual instinct. Nature built this instinct in people in order they breed.
I do not want to have children, so love does not matter for me.
 
TheRealCallie said:
^^not everyone who loves each other has children.

Then what else sense does love have?
If I will not have children then I do not see any sense in love.
Because the main aim of love is to give life for new generation of humankind.
Love without performing the main aim seems senseless for me.
 
Love and sex are not the same thing.

You can totally have sex with someone you do not care about one bit.

Love is not just between two sexual partners, it can be love within a family, mothers and children, grandparents and their grand kids etc.
 
In fact, I'd like to add many people who have children dont necessarily love them, or children in general. It's not a popular subject nor fun to say, but it does happen. A very good friend of ine several years ago had two kids he gradually grew to detest and utterly abhor as time went on. I have to admit to this day I do not understand how that can be, but it's obvious that it does happen. I guess he had a very bitter experience of parenting.
Love is such an abstract and personnal concept, as I previously stated, that it's very very hard to mesure or quantify, as it can mean a practically infinite number of things depending on people's experiences.
 
Paul Bauman said:
TheRealCallie said:
^^not everyone who loves each other has children.

Then what else sense does love have?
If I will not have children then I do not see any sense in love.
Because the main aim of love is to give life for new generation of humankind.
Love without performing the main aim seems senseless for me.

You've got love confused with chemicals that originate in the brain.

Do you not love your parents? Grandparents? Siblings, etc?
 
> You've got love confused with chemicals that originate in the brain.
I do not see any difference. I think love is instincts and chemical reactions in human brain and nothing more.

> Do you not love your parents? Grandparents? Siblings, etc?
No. And I even almost do not communicate with them. I can respect or appreciate some of them but I have no any feelings or emotions that can be called "love".
 
I think love feels like a fire. Searing your insides. It’s both pain and pleasure. Makes me dizzy and feels like I’m on drugs. 
I have never been in the same place for too long, I have never loved someone for years.

So what does it feel like to love someone you are with for a long time?
 
Jessicat said:
I think love feels like a fire. Searing your insides. It’s both pain and pleasure. Makes me dizzy and feels like I’m on drugs. 
I have never been in the same place for too long, I have never loved someone for years.

So what does it feel like to love someone you are with for a long time?

Judging from my parents 40 year marriage, I'd say an exercise in auto-mutilation. My max has been three year. Fire is usually long dead by year one.
I don't know. Guess I've never met the right gal. Or there's something wrong with me.
 

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